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BryanGee's Stats for September 2007
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Archive for September, 2007

I Hate Myself For Loving You!!!

Thursday, September 27th, 2007

I Hate Myself For Loving You!!!

Remember that old song by Joan Jett???  Well sometimes that’s the way I feel about food.  I know I shouldn’t eat it and I know right down to the finest detail what it does to my body and how it does it and yet…..yet…..it is still so damn hard to resist!!!!!  I just love the damn stuff and I hate myself for it!! 

It doesn’t help that everywhere you go we are bombarded by smells from fast food places and bakeries and even from our very own kitchens.  My wife drives me nuts because she insist on baking cakes and cookies knowing how much I love them…especially the cookies straight from the oven.  I’m like freaking Pavlov’s dog when I smell fresh baked chocolate chip cookies…..I start drooling like some kind of idiot and I lose all conscious thought and just start grubbing!  It really not my fault though.   

From birth we are programed to eat a certain way.  If your parents were like mine you were raised on meat and potatoes and gravy at every meal and that would include breakfast.  My mom and dad both ate gravy on every damn thing and that meant on eggs and grits as well as biscuits for breakfast.  We always had bacon ham or sausage for breakfast and the grease from that is what my mom made the gravy from. 

The other two meals all consisted of lard fried animal carcass and some form of potato, fried or mashed and slathered with gravy. 

All day long we drank sugary drinks like Kool-Aid…munched on cookies and sucked on sugary candies!  If my mom wanted me to shut my pie hole….well….she shoved a pie in it, hence the name "Pie Hole!"

  Water was something my parents made you drink when they were pissed at you!  Is it any wonder that as adults after years of abusive eating we’re addicted to this type of food.  It’s been sandblasted into our very consciousness!!

I’ve often wondered that if from birth a child was fed nothing but veggies and fruits and everything healthy would they turn their noses up at sweets and sugary treats and would they crave healthy food like we crave sweets??? 

Anyway, all that being said I firmly believe that if we didn’t indulge once in a while we would go stark raving mad!!  I am what I am and if I don’t eat a cookie once in awhile I’m afraid that I might find myself somday climbing a tower somewhere with a high powered rifle!!  I may hate myself for it but I gotta have it!!   

When they interview the witnesses after my rampage they will all say, "He just kept shouting……GIVE ME YOUR CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES!!!!!      

Monday Morning…Where have you Been???

Monday, September 24th, 2007

Monday Morning…Where have you Been???

Well I haven’t been on here since Friday and the reason is pretty stupid! 

Friday night I didn’t get on because I had about a million things to do including working my shoulders so I didn’t get a chance to check in.   Then Saturday I decided that I was going to spend the entire day with my wife and kids so we went to the movies……The Wife and I watched The Brave One which was pretty awesome and the kiddies watched Resident Evil.  After the movie we went out to eat, I just had salad with plenty of veggies, and then we went out for ice cream!!  Yes I did partake of the ice cream….even Hard Core Muthas cheat once in a while!!  It was plain vanilla yogurt sweetened with splenda so it wasn’t to much of a cheat….it was damn good though.

So Sunday morning I got up and went for a nice leisurely run and when I got back home I decided I was going to get online and check in with BodySpace.  Well I couldn’t get it to log on so I looked at my modem and the online light was off.  GREAT!!! 

Well knowing that Time Warner Cable does not always supply reliable service to Shitholeville OH 45887 I decided to just wait and then later on I would check and see if I was back online.  Well I got busy so I didn’t check till late last night and still no service!!  Now I’m pissed because this happens far to often and it seems like it’s always on the weekend.  So I decided that after my run this morning I was going to call and go off on them about the crappy service. 

As I’m sitting at my desk on the phone listening to the endless menu of options I happen to glance over once again at my modem and I notice something I hadn’t seen before.  At the very bottom of the light display was a light that was lit.  Upon further inspection I noticed that the light was labeled standby!!  Hmmmmmm imagine that!!  I inspected the modem further and noticed that there is a button on top of the modem also labeled standby!!!  Now a lightbulb came on over my head and I pressed the standby button and PRESTO!!!!  I was back online. 

Now I don’t know how that button got pushed but I’m thinking that our stupid cat might have done it.  He is still just a kitten and he climbs around on everything but especially the stand where the modem sits.  Had he stepped on the top of the modem he could have easily pushed that stupid button.  But anyway…..I’m back!!

Today was scale day and much to my surprise I only dropped 1 lb!!  I really thought it would be more because although I wasn’t as tight on my diet as I should have been I was a cardio machine all week….I really busted my ass running hills and steps and about a zillion sprints.  This week I’m tightening the diet up and I’m eating nothing but turkey burgers without bread, veggie salad, and my carb control yogurt with a scoop of whey in it.  And lots of water of course. 

Did you ever see the Jim Carey movie Liar, Lair????  If you have you’ll remember there is a very funny part in it where he is in a public restroom beating the shit out of himself by slamming into the walls and smashing his head in the toilet.  While this is going on a guy walks in and catches him doing this and ask, "What are you doing????"  "I’m kicking my assssss!" he screams!!  Sometimes when I don’t feel like I’ve given it everything I could have as far as diet and exercise I feel like Jim Carey in that movie and I want to kick my own ass!!!!  does anybody else feel like that?? 

Well that is about all I have this morning……I see that in the time I was gone I went from a high of 103 hits to 19 this morning.  Guess I need to get on the ball and start working the site and smozzing with my peeps!!!!  Have an awesome Monday!!!    

Trash Day in ****holeville OH

Friday, September 21st, 2007

Well here it is Friday all ready!!  Wow this week has flown by and it has been a banner week for your’s truly.  If you read these blogs you’ll know I had an incredible Wednesday but the rest of the week has been outstanding as well.  I’ve had excellent workouts everyday, kept the diet pretty clean and have had an outstanding attitude! 

I’ve had over a hundred hits to my page in one day….something that’s never happened before and I feel really good about that.  It’s good to get just a little recognition once in a while.  Maybe if I get a thong or something I could get in the top six!!!  Hellllllll Yes!!! 

Anyway, here it is Friday and it’s trash day in Shitholeville OH 45887 and because of that it is my least favorite day to run.  I hate running by peoples stinky garbage cans lining the streets like some sort of smelly gauntlet assaulting my nose with their stench of rotting meat. 

This morning wasn’t too bad because it isn’t as hot here as it has been.  It was like surface of the sun hot for most of the summer with 500% humidity but now it’s been downgraded to just hot as hell with a comfortable humidity of 200%!!  AHHHHH Shitholeville in the summer…..what a tropical paradise!! 

Where was I??????  Oh yeh!!  Trash day!!  So anyway here I am running by these stinky trash cans and suddenly it dawns on me that there is a pattern developing here.  Sitting out on top of every single trashcan I passed were empty pizza boxes!!!  I was stunned!!  Every can had at least one box and as many as 5 sitting out.  I ain’t lying!!!  I actually had to stop for a moment and look back down the street just to make sure I wasn’t imagining things….sure enough every can had a pizza box by it!

  And in addition to the pizza boxes several cans also had empty cases of beer. 

Now this tells me a couple of things.  Number 1 is I need to start a pizza place pronto…..and number two is that there are a lot of beer swilling pizza grubbing, just waiting to die…unhealthy people living in Shitholeville OH 45887!!!  How sad. 

Something to Think About

Yesterday a group of us were standing around at work talking and someone mentioned that they wished they could go back in time knowing what they know now.  Then everyone started speculating about what they would do different and what they would change if they could.  At the time I said something stupid about how I would stay away from my first wife or some other dumb ass statement but since then I’ve given it some thought and I know exactly what I would do. 

I would start living a healthy life right from the get go….as a young kid and try to do everything in my power to get my mom to do the same.  I would try to get her to fix healthier foods and not so much gravy and lard fried dead animal carcass!!  And I would do whatever it took to get her to quit smoking!!!  If I could do that maybe she would still be here today instead of being dead at 66 from heart disease.  Yup that’s what I’d do……what would you do????   

I love Wednesday!!

Wednesday, September 19th, 2007

There must be something in the air!!!  I don’t know what it is for sure but I wish I could bottle it and sell it cause I’d be rich!! 

Maybe it’s phermones or maybe today was just my lucky day but everywhere I went today women were flirting with me and hitting on me.  Not hitting on me with like sticks and clubs, which would be expected,  but hitting on me like asking if I’m married or would I like to go out.  Needless to say I’ve been walking around all day on cloud nine and a little stunned.  Things like this don’t often happen to me.

It all started this afternoon at work.  I work part time for a local newspaper dropping bundles to the carriers.  while I was waiting for the bundles to get done I was talking to a group of young girls who insert the papers and one asked how old I was.  I replied without blinking that I was 35. (I’m 50)  She replied without blinking, "Damn you’re pretty hot for 35!"  I almost chocked on my tongue but I managed to say thank you.  How smooth am I???  LOL!!  This girl was all of about 23 or so as were all of her friends at the table.  They all agreed that I was pretty hot for 35.  Another one of the girls asked if I was married to which I replied yes.  Then she asked if I was happily married and winked at me.  WTF!!!  I started looking around for the hidden camera cause I was sure I was being punked or something.  But there were no cameras and things were just starting to heat up.

Next as I was walking out to get started on my deliveries one of the boss ladies who is about 35 and hot as hell  stopped me as I was walking out the door and asked me how I was.  I thought maybe she wanted me to do something else but she just kept up with small talk.  then she asked me if I was doing anything Saturday night.  Dumb ass me assumed she’s asking for a work related reason so I said that as far as I knew I was doing nothing.  Well then she said how would you like to meet me and have a couple of beers??  Well again being the dense idiot that I am and not being used to someone flirting with me I said, "Well maybe.  Who else will be there?" I asked.  "Just you and me I hope," she replied!!  OMG!!!  I was blown away and didn’t quit know what to say but after I regained my senses I told her that I would love to have a couple of beers with her but that my wife would probaly kick both of our asses so I’d have to decline.  She aplogized and said she thought I was single.  Like a dork I said thanks for asking though.  Told you I was smooth!!

After that everywhere I went the rest of the day women called me sweetie or hon or some other sweet little name or winked at me or found a reason to touch my arm or my hand.  I walked by two girls in WalMart and heard the one girl take a deep breath and say DAMN to her girlfriend.  Course she could have been saying that cause she thought I looked like Elmer Fudd but the way the entire day had been going I assumed it was a good damn not a damn he’s ugly damn!! 

I’m telling you nothing like this has ever happened like this to me before.  I mean I’ve had girls flirt with me and ask me out but not all in one day like they did today. 

All I can say is I must really love my wife to go through that much temptation in one day and come out unscathed!!  Believe me though I’m gonna mark this day down in my personal journal and milk this as long as it last.  As I always say….just cause your dog’s tied to the porch don’t mean he can’t bark at the cars.  LOL!!  Unless my wife catches me and beats me with the newspaper and then nueters me!!  YIKES!! 

Good Monday Morning!

Monday, September 17th, 2007

Well today was weigh in day and low and behold I dropped six lbs since last Monday!  Awesome!!  Thirty more lbs to 190 by January 1st!  I can’t wait to get under 200 for the first time in a long time! 

I felt so good about the 6 lb loss that I decided to run some hills this morning to celebrate.  Right now my quads are are on fire cause I really pounded them.  I know it sounds insane to the normal person but I really love hill sprints.  It’s just something about slamming into that hill at full speed and scrambling to the top that really gets my blood and adrenaline pumping!! 

I noticed something yesterday while surfing the site that kind of bothers me so I thought I would write something about it now and see if I’m just being anal or if it bothers other people.

I noticed that one guys blog was just a few lines boasting about just adding his 100th mutual friend!  At first I thought it was kind of cool that the guy was excited about having 100 friends on the site till I noticed that he was asking to add me.  Well I looked around my page and stats and noticed that he had only just visited my page, had never left me a comment and if he had read any of my blogs he never took the time to comment on them either.  So then I got to thinking….why would he want to add me as a friend???  Just to pad his numbers???  Then I looked around and found that there was a few others on my list that had asked to be added to my friends list but had never left a comment and never gave a reason for wanting me to add them. 

Now like I said maybe I’m just being anal but to me this seem wrong and just a little stupid.  When I ask someone to add me as a friend it’s because I feel a connection with them and I’ve taken the time to read their profiles and blogs and build up a rapport with them.  I don’t do it just to say I have a hundred friends. 

When I add someone I also try to make it a point to visit their page on a regular basis and give them support if they need it or take inspiration from them if I need it.  I take this very seriously.  If I’ve asked you to add me as a friend it means more to me than just a cyber relationship!  Like I said it’s because I relate to you as a person, even though we’ve never met and probably never will, and that means something to me.  There are people on here that have hundreds of friends and I bet they only actually stay in touch with a handful of them.  Like I said….maybe I’m being anal but that bothers me so I think I’ll soon be revising my mutual friends list.  I would sure appreciate hearing some feedback on this…..am I the only one who thinks like this??  Actually maybe I have too much time on my hands and should just build a bridge and get over it.  LOL!  But, Friendships, cyber or other wise means something to me.

Anyway, enough for today.  Chest and Triceps tonight…can’t wait!!!  Have an awesome Monday!!! 

Sunday Reflections!

Sunday, September 16th, 2007

What a beautiful Sunday morning it is in Shitholeville OH 45887!!  Woke up this morning all bright eyed and bushy tailed with the sun streaming brightly through my bedroom window…..what a fantastic day and setting for a walk in the country.

So, I jumped up from under the covers, pulled on my running shorts and a tee, grabbed my little shoes and socks and headed out the door. 

As soon as I stepped out the door I realized that something was wrong!  I don’t quit know what my first clue was but it could have been the goose bumps that sent instant shockwaves of shivers down my spine or the fact that my nipples were instantly hard enough to cut glass…..either way it dawned on me that…..IT WAS FREAKIN COLD AS HELL!!

Holy Crap!!  Even though it was a bright sun shiny day outside the temperture over night had dropped to a spine tingling & nipply 39 degrees!!!  Typical for Shitholeville OH 45887.  Hot and humid as the surface as the sun during the day and as cold and fridgid as my ex wifes heart overnight!! 

Once I got over the initial shock though I actually started to enjoy the briskness of the morning and had a fantastic walk.  Everything was so clear and crisp….it was amazing!!  The sun was glistning off the dew covered lawns and fields, squirrels were running here and there playing grab ass with each other in the trees, the whole scene reminded me of when I was a little kid and waiting for the school bus.  It was all pretty freaking glorious!

New Goals!

I’ve decided I’m sick and tired of this body fat on my abs!  I’ve started cutting and I’ve set a new goal weight of 190 lbs by the end of the year.  Once the fat is gone I can try bulking a little and try to cut by April for the contest.  If I can’t get where I want to be by April I’ll shoot for a contest later in the year.  Either way this fat is history!!  I can’t stand to see it any longer!  I’ll get myself to a lean 190 and then go from there.  I weighed in last Monday at 226lbs and I’ll weigh myself every Monday morning from now on till I reach my goal. 

As for my pull up goals I finally made it to nine!  I almost shit myself but I did it!!  I tried like crazy to pull that last one but couldn’t even budge from the starting position.  I’ll get there though!

Amazingly enough I still have nothing to bitch or rant about.  All is well and calm in Shitholeville OH 45887 soooo…I’ll wrap this up by saying I hope everyone has a fan  freaking   tastic   Sunday!!!   

Random Thoughts for Friday!

Friday, September 14th, 2007

Well if you’re one of the few people who read these ramblings you may have noticed that I didn’t post a blog yesterday.  That’s because I was flat on my back in bed sick as a dog!

I had an awesome quad workout Wednesday evening and then went for a run which included some 40 yard sprints.  After about 6 or so sprints I started feeling a little sick to my stomach.  I didn’t think much about it as it isn’t out of the ordinary for me to hurl while sprinting.  When I run it always balls to the wall!! 

Anyway, I did my running and went home and downed my aminos like a good little lifter should and then started stretching.  Well I hadn’t been stretching long when I had to get up and run for the toilet…..the rest of the night was pretty much spent in the bathroom and Thursday I didn’t budge from the bed….I was in like a coma for most of the day. 

Today though I feel like a million dollars and 95 cents and I’m looking foward to making up the back workout I missed last night and my regular Friday shoulder workout.  Back and shoulder are two of my favorite body parts to work.  Isn’t it funny how we think we are so big and strong but a little bug in the right place can knock you right out on your ass? 

More Random Bullshit!

I was just thinking today that it would be cool as hell if there was a BodySpace Convention.  Hold it in a central location like St Louis and hold it on a weekend when the Cards are in town too so I can catch a game while I’m there.  That would be awesome!! I would really enjoy getting to meet some of my friends from here on BodySpace and see if they are the same in person as they are online.  Plus I’m always interested in how a persons voice matches their face.  Man a BodySpace space convention would kick ass.  It would also be an excellent opportunity for contest promoters as well as supplement and equipment vendors.  HEY BODYBUILDING.COM ARE YOU LISTENING???  Am I the only one who thinks this would be a good idea??

Isn’t testosterone a wonderful thing???  You wanna know what the first thing is I wanted to do when I woke up this morning feeling better???  Eat?…..nope!  Take a refreshing shower?….nope!  Get laid???….nope!  I wanted to go out and run which is just what I did….then I got laid!!  LOL!!  Love the testosterone!!

Well I can’t really think of anything to bitch about so I guess that just about wraps this blog up for Friday the 14th!  Have a great what’s left of this day and an even more awesome weekend. 

How Nudism Saves Money!

Wednesday, September 12th, 2007

I came across an interesting article today and since it is kind of health and body image related I thought I would copy and paste it here: 

How Nudism Saves Money

By Nathan Powers

Nudists (or “naturists” as some prefer to be referred to), have been the brunt of many a joke for many years. However, the truth of the matter is that living a nudist lifestyle may actually be far better for you, physically, ecologically and economically.

That dirty word – “Laundry”: Let’s start with the obvious. Nudists tend to wear as little clothing as possible, usually nothing at all, as often as possible or whenever conditions allow. Most live in climates that are tropical enough to maximize this opportunity. Wearing less clothing means washing less clothing and washing the clothing that they own less frequently, requiring the repair and replacement of clothing less often. They also tend to have less of a wardrobe, requiring less storage space. So here, we are seeing a saving in money spent on laundry detergents, gas and electricity to operate a washer and dryer, replacement clothing and repair costs, home closet or storage space. We also see less chlorine, phosphates, ozone and carbon dioxide pumped into the environment as well as a reduction in health issues related to exposure to the chemicals needed for properly washing clothing. (Chlorine bleach is one of the deadliest chemicals we can expose ourselves to).

Cooling Down: Since for practicality reasons, most nudists live in either tropical or subtropical regions, many homes and businesses in those regions have some form of air conditioning. Nudists can save money and as in the case of laundry, the environment, by being able to turn up the thermostat a few degrees and allowing the natural cooling system provided in our bodies to do it’s job. Also, if things get a little too hot, it is very easy to simply jump in a cool shower or hose off for a second or two with having to take the time to get undress and redressed. Besides, who wants to throw those sweaty clothing back on right after a shower.

Health Costs: There are other bonuses as well. It has recently been found that exposure to natural sunlight is far healthier to the human body than attempting to hide from the sun altogether. Regulated exposure to natural sunlight lets the body naturally produce all of the Vitamin “D” it needs to ward off a host of deadly and debilitating diseases, cancers and conditions, including MS, ALS, osteoporosis, breast, ovarian, prostate and brain cancers. (source) Even more recent reports indicate that almost all sunscreens are completely ineffective in reducing the deadliest forms of cancer, melanoma (source). Several reports indicate that the ingredients used to manufacture sunscreens are actually more harmful that the cancers they purport to prevent. However, by balancing the ratio of Omega 3 and 6 fatty acids, combined with an adequate amount of Vitamin “D”, incidence of melanoma has shown to be reduced by around 40% (source). It is therefore better to gradually expose the body to the sun, slowly building up our body’s own natural sunscreen, melanin, being careful not to get sunburned in the process.

The bottom line is that nudists can save a ton of money by not buying sunscreen, simply exposing themselves to natural sunlight in appropriate amounts; there by creating Vitamin “D” for free and by simply eating a diet that balances omega 3 acids. This can be done through supplement or through adding fish, flax or kiwi fruit to their diets. The real savings come from not having to pay medical bills for treatments for all of the conditions.

Stuff: Nudism is often referred to as the “Great Equalizer”. When people are naked around other people, it is difficult to tell if a person is the president of a bank, or a school janitor. Consequently, nudists tend to be far less “class-conscious”. Nudists are typically less likely to want to keep up with the Joneses, realizing that not only do clothes not really make the man, but neither do homes, cars, boats etc.

More Health - Less Stress - More Money: Studies have also found that children raised in nudist homes tend to be more socially developed (and often more intelligent) than those raised in “textile” families. Nudists generally feel that they have nothing to hide. That attitude permeates the rest of their psyche as well, so they tend to be less stressed out and more sure of themselves. We have probably all heard about the health problems produced by living under stress. Nudists save money by not having to treat as many stress related disorders. (source - pdf format) Also, by being more self confident, and supposedly better educated, they are more likely to get better jobs, making more money.

Society: Those same group of studies indicated that children raised in nudist homes are less inclined to become burdens to society. They are less likely to become involved in early sexual or drug experimentation or to commit crimes against society. This is partially because they are not as materially oriented and because they are already familiar with the looks and workings of the opposite sex. In general, nudity allows them to be more open and honest in their family life, which is expressed in how they relate to others in general. Nudists save money by not having to bail their children out of jail, take them to the doctors to treat sexually transmitted diseases or help them raise unwanted grandchildren (as frequently). If all families raised their children with the same attitudes as nudists, we would all be able to save money by having to pay less in taxes to support fewer children of unwanted pregnancies, drug addicts, juvenile delinquents, vandalism, etc.  End of Article

I recently confided to a friend and now I will reveal it here for all to see that my wife and I once spent a weekend camping at a nudist resort.

I Know……shocking huh??

Truth be known it was pretty damn cool.  They were just normal folks like you might see at any campground across the USA.  No one stared, no one was walking around with an erection, no crazy sex except behind closed doors, or tent flaps in this case.  Nothing out of the ordinary except that all the campers were naked.  It was one of the best weekends I ever had and I would do it again in a heartbeat.

 

One More Time!

Wednesday, September 12th, 2007

Well I really hate to do this again because I think this is a subject that has been beat to death on this site by several people…..including yours truly…..but I’ve been making my rounds and reading lots of blogs and comments and the subject has reared it’s ugly head again.

Actually reared is a good word to use because it seems a whole bunch of us have a problem with rears!!  LOL! 

In the past a lot of us….again including myself….have had a problem with some of the pics in the top six.  We all know what those problems have been so I don’t think it’s necessary to rehash all the details.  I am slowly coming to the realization though that for the most part the top six is just fine. 

Today for example I would say that 5 out of the six deserve to be there and I think it would be hard to argue otherwise.  Five out of the 6 have great physiques, their pages show where they started and how they have progressed to have the smokin hot body they have today.

Are some of the pics revealing…yup!  But after talking to some of these women who post these pics and after actually taking the time to try to understand I’m beginning to see things differently.

A lot of these women come from a place where they didn’t like their bodies and lacked self confidence.  They worked their asses off to create a beautiful body so why not be proud of it…..why not promote it and show it off.  Have you ever read a muscle mag????  If you’re on this site chances are you have.  Just look at some of the pics in there!!  I remember as a young man seeing some pretty revealing pics of Cory Everson half naked and in thongs!!  It sells a lot of mags doesn’t it?  I mean the whole industry is about sex, body image, and self promotion.  If you want to get ahead in this business let’s face it…you have to show some skin.

Now I still have a problem with someone who just post shots of boobs or ass and has no other info on their page.  That’s just saying, "HEY look at my boobs!"  If I want that there are plenty of places to go on the net to see boobs in all their naked splender! 

But if you have a page that actually chronicles your progress from frumpy Miss So So to smokin hot fitness babe then I have no problem with these so called borderline pics.  They may even be an inspiration to lots of other Miss so so’s to become smokin hot fitness babes! 

I’ll be so bold as to say I may have been to much of a hard ass on this subject in the past.  I spoke out of turn before I actually had both sides of the story and that was wrong and narrow minded of me and I apologize if I hurt anyones feelings.  From now on I’m going to try my best to examine things from all sides before I make a judgement about someone and I hope all of us will try to do the same. 

Have a great Wednesday!

Tuesday 9-11-07

Tuesday, September 11th, 2007

Before I say another word let me start by saying that I hope we all remember what day this is and that we never forget it….ever!!

I know for me the whole thing is still very vivid in my mind.  I was working at a large aircraft manufacturer in Wichita Kansas at that time and I remember hearing about the first plane hitting the towers on the radio and how stunned everyone was that something like that could happen but at that moment we all thought it was just a tragic but freak accident.  When the reports of the second plane came over the radio everyone knew it was no longer an accident and even in Wichita Kansas which is a long way from New York you could see the look of fear on peoples faces.  Fear that our country might actually be under attack!  That fear grew even larger when it was reported to us that FBI and KBI agents and big shots from the FAA were crawling all over the building checking ID’s and employee badges and that no one was allowed to leave the building till furthur notice.  Now the shit was hitting the fan…..work ceased and we were all just standing around listening to the radios in disbelieve.  How the f*&k could this be happening???  You could cut the tension in that factory with a knife…..it was horrible!!  For all we knew there could be a full scale attack going on outside and we were stuck in that damn building unable to get to our families and loved ones.  I remember one guy saying he was gonna leave and he didn’t give a f*&k what anyone one said.  Needless to say when he tried it he was tazed and taken into custody by the FBI!!! No one else tried it after that! 

We were suppose to continue working but no one did.  We all gathered around the radios anxiously awaiting any information.  When we heard that all the planes were being grounded and nothing but military flights were allowed we were sure we were under attack and that any second we were going to hear that missles were on the way or that some big city had just been nuked. 

If this all seems like we were over reacting you have to understand that Kansas and Wichita especially has always been considered a prime target by those who wish to do us harm.  Kansas used to house an abundant amount of Titan Missles and Wichita manufactures military aircraft as well as being home to an Air Force base that houses Bombers!  If we were under attack we were all sure that we were a target and that our families were out there and in danger.

Finally after what seemed like a lifetime they told us that it was ok to leave the building.  I had some personal time coming so I told my supervisor I was going home. 

I made a bee line to my wifes’ work to make sure she was alright and she decided to leave with me and we both went home and turned on the TV to the news.  Sitting there and watching those buildings with the black smoke rolling from them I was just stunned.  How could this happen???  What kind of sick f*&ked up person could concieve of such a plan???  

And then it happened….those once majestic buildings came tumbling to the ground and I sat watching in horror knowing there were still people trapped in that burning pile of rubble who would never see the light of day ever again.

I looked over at my wife….stunned….and noticed that there were tears streaming down her face and I knew she was thinking the same thing I was.  And then I realized that I too was crying and try as I might I couldn’t stop!!  So we both just sat there in silence and cried.  Even today as I write this the memory of that moment brings tears to my eyes.

I know I will never forget that day….the memory is burned into my brain and is as vivid today as it was the day it happened.  Nope I’ll never forget and I pray that as a country no one else forgets it either.     



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