The Chronicles of “B”

I’ve recently received a personal comment on my last blog that ask me, "Why do you hate smokers?"  It went on to blast me for being rude and for being prejudice against smokers rights and how someones smoking habits didn’t effect me and was their own business and that I should shut my bleeping mouth and mind my business. 

My reply was short and sweet, "You are an ignorant a-hole!"

If there is anyone else out there that thinks I hate smokers please let me set the record straight.  I do not HATE smokers!!  Let me repeat….NOT HATE SMOKERS!!  I don’t hate people but I do feel sorry for them that they let that little chunk of poison control their lives to the point of death.  Although I don’t hate the smoker I do hate smoking and everything that it represents.  It’s nasty, dirty, it makes you stink, and it interferes with my ability and the ability of my friends and loved ones to breath.  The person that wrote me the e-mail said that they enjoyed the taste of ciggerettes and that’s why they smoked.  That my friend is a load of horse crap!!  I smoked and I can honestly say that taste was never a factor in my smoking….just the opposite…..the taste was and is horrible. 

Face facts my friend….the only reason people smoke and are willing to pay $4.00 for a pack is that it’s a drug and you are hooked.  Most smokers would probably pay $20.00 for a pack if they had to because they are hooked!!!  When you say you smoke to relax my friend it’s because you are hooked and when you get your fix you are once again calm!!!  DUH!!! 

Drop the excuses and face the facts…..you are addicted to a drug…plain and simple!

My mother was one of the strongest individuals I have ever known.  She spent 17 years in an abusive relationship, endured beatings and was humiliated countless times yet somehow found the strength to carry on for the sake of her 4 children.  When it became clear to her that she needed to leave for the sake of her children she found the strength to do that……and she also found the strength to raise 4 rowdy ass children on a crappy minimum wage job and put food in their bellies and clothes on their backs and never missed a Little League game or a school program.  She even knocked a 185lb, 17 year old kid (me) on his ass once because it needed to be done!!  

But guess what????  As strong as that woman was….even after several heart attacks….bi-pass surgery…..hospitalized for several congestive heart failures and several brushes with death…….as strong as she was she couldn’t put down that GD ciggerette knowing it was going to kill her.  And it did at the way to early age of 66.  WHY?????  Because she was hooked……it’s a drug and it will grab ahold of you and squeeze the very life from your body!!!!

So in conclusion please let me say again….I do not hate smokers!!!  I don’t even hate the person who wrote the e-mail.  But I do hate what you’re doing to yourselves and to those around you who might like to have you around to talk to and share things with longer than 66 years!!!    

I know I said I was gonna try to stick to writing about my workouts and my contest prep in my blogs and not go off on a tangent but something happened today that I just got to share.

My wife and I donate plasma twice a week at the local donation center.  We both have burn victims in our families as well as hemophilia so we know how important it is to donate.  Plus we make $60.00 a piece each week for just lying on a bed for an hour with a needle in our arm.  BONUS!!  The red blood cells are returned to you so it doesn’t really effect our energy levels or anything either.  

Anyway, I go early on Mondays and Thursdays and I usually get right in, get hooked up and right back out.  Today was a different story.  It was really packed and we had to sit and wait for an available space to donate.  As I was sitting there minding my own business this dude that looked like he just come from a homeless shelter slithered over and sat down beside me.  The second he sat down I was overcome by some of the worst body odor I had ever smelled in my freaking life!!!!!  And if that wasn’t bad enough he also reeked of ciggerette smoke.  OH MY GOD!!!  I actually had to swallow hard to keep from gagging.  But that’s not the worst of it.  An older, well older than me anyway, lady slid into the chair on the other side of me with some of the rankest perfume on that you could imagine…..it smelled like she had taken a bath in it!  Plus she reeked of smoke also!!!!  I could feel my stomach starting to churn and I prayed that they would call me soon so I could get away before I hurled!! 

As waves of nausea swept over me I could feel myself getting angrier and angrier.  WTF!!!  How could these 2 not know how bad they freaking smelled.  Does ciggerette smoke destroy all sense of smell or what???  I actually pulled the collar of my shirt up and covered my mouth and nose hopeing they would get the message but they seemed oblivious to my insult and my disgust.

Then came the final straw.  I had the guy telling someone next to him that he worked at Ford but was here to make a little extra money.  Now I’m usually a very easy going guy….the kind that wouldn’t say shit even if I had a mouthful but when I heard this nasty individual say he worked at Ford I exploded.  I turned to him and said,  "You fu&*ing work at Ford and you can’t even afford to buy a bar of soap or what??"  The dudes jaw hit the floor but I wasn’t done!!  "You freaking stink dude and you’re about to make me puke," I yelled.  " How in the hell could you come to a place like this, who has to maintain sanitary conditions, looking and smelling like you just crawled out of a trash can?"  Then I turned my wrath to the poor woman.  "And you lady…..It’s perfume not bodywash…you don’t have to take a GD bath in it!!!"

Before either one of them could respond the other patrons around me started clapping and shouting their support and one very refined young woman looked at the homeless looking guy and shouted…."Hey Stinky…sit somewhere else!"

With that both got out of their seats and made a hasty exit.  I know, I know I was wrong and should have just moved but man sometimes smokers make me sooooo mad I just couldn’t take it anymore.  I mean I know not all smokers aren’t rude a$$holes but the ones that are a-holes are really super a-holes. 

So to make this long story a little shorter I was so overcome with nausea from the smell and from my explosion that I had to leave without donating.  Several people though including a couple of employees of the center thanked me for going off on the stinking duo. 

And last but not least I’m skipping my leg workout tonight because I haven’t been able to eat much today and still feel weak to the stomach!!!  YuCK!!

I"ve often wondered how someone with an eating disorder, who is skeleton thin, could look into a mirror and still think they are fat.  They look like they have just been liberated from a concentration camp and yet all they see is a fat person staring back at them.  What kind of insanity grips a person and causes them to starve themselves to death????  Are they oblivious to their own reflection???  I’ve truly never understood how a person could do that to themselves…..till now!!!

I am not anorexic by any stretch of the imagination and I am certainly not poking fun or making lite of anyone who suffers from this horrible disease but….everytime I look in the mirror all I see is that fat ass 248lb blob of disgusting blubber that I used to be.   It’s driving me crazy!!!!  People are complmenting me left and right telling me how much I’ve changed and how good I look and yet when I look in that damn mirror I want to scream and run out to the garage and knock out 4 or 5 sets of squats and deadlifts!!!!  Is this normal????  Did anyone else out there feel this way when they first started lifting????

I don’t know what the deal is……I’ve always been my toughest critic…..I’ve known that for a long time.  I had a coach tell me once that he didn’t need to kick my ass whenever I made a mistake because I would always do it for him!

I don’t know…..maybe I should stop looking in the damn mirror for awhile.  I know this feeling will pass, I hope….maybe when I start making some major progress. 

I don’t think I’m cracking up or anything….least I hope not…I guess I’m just impatient and want to see changes overnight.  I know though that that’s not gonna happen soooooo I’ll just keep busting my ass and hope that someday soon that fatboy gets the hell out of my mirror!!!   

I’m in a strange ass mood tonight for some reason.  Had a great chest workout tonight and now I’m just getting mellow in front of the computer before I drink my last protein shake of the day and go nighty night. 

I was just listening to one of my favorite songs while surfing titled "Life Ain’t Always Beautiful" by Gary Allen.  It’s on my MySpace if you would like to hear it.  Anyway, part of the lyrics goes like this….

and the struggles make me stronger…..and the changes make me wise

And happiness has it’s own way of taking it’s sweet time…..

No life ain’t always beautiful….tears may fall sometimes….

Life ain’t always beautiful but it’s a beautiful ride!

Damn if that isn’t how I’m feeling tonight!!  I’m just sitting here reflecting on life in general and it just dawned on me how those lyrics reflect on recent events in my life and how I’ve overcome them and moved on making things better for myself. 

Just 2 short years ago I lived in Kansas.  I was in what may have been the best shape of my life.  I ran 7 to 10 miles a day in 100 degree Kansas heat on sandy roads, rode my bike everywhere I went sometimes 20 or 30 miles a day and still found time to lift 3 times a week.  I was 190 lbs of lean mean muscle. 

Then circumstances with our families forced us against our will to make a major move to Ohio and I started getting lazy and shot up to 248 lbs of freakin flubber in less than a year.  Then we had a house fire and lost everything we owned.  We were left with nothing but the clothes on our backs.  We even had 2 cars burn up in the garage.  ROCk FREAKIN BOTTOM!!

But ya know what…..the struggles do make you wiser….and the changes do make you wise!!!!  

And I think we all know that….happiness has it’s own way of taking it’s sweet time!!!

But the thing is I didn’t just fold up and die!!  I had every reason to but that’s bull crap!!!  I’m not a quitter!!  I found bodybuilding and now I’ve got a reason to push forward….more goals to conquer.  I’m getting my health and my self confidence back.  Soon I’ll be competeing in a contest and people are starting to notice the changes in my body and my attitude

   Sooooo…..moral to this story, or blog, if you will…..is this:

Life ain’t alway’s beautiful

Tears may fall sometimes

Life ain’t alway’s beautiful…..but damn if it ain’t a beautiful ride!!!

Well my intensity level is at an all time high but so are my aching bones and muscles.  Since I’ve set a definate date to compete I’ve been pushing myself harder than ever.  One of my kids favorite forms of entertainment these days is to watch me work out because they think it’s funny when I scream, "ONE MORE DAMN IT!!" on my last few reps.  Oh, and they really think it’s a scream when I call myself a big pu$$y if I can’t push up that last one!!!  I’m doing everything now to failure and even cheat a few reps if I can.  I’m even doing my abs to failure which is no easy task let me tell ya!!!  And I don’t know if any of ya reading this has ever pushed their abs to failure but let me tell ya it hurts like hell.  I find myself saying, "Nine months away…just one more damn it….all the time.  "One more sprint Bryan…..gotta burn fat…..gotta get big!!!!   Yes Doctor I talk to myself all the time!!  LOL!!  I really hope I can keep this intensity level through to April and even the sore muscles aren’t that bad cause it’s telling me that I’m making progress. 

When I used to run Marathons and going back to my High School cross country day’s I was always told that if I didn’t feel like puking or didn’t actually hurl after a race then you didn’t push hard enough so I guess that mentality is burned in me and thats how I approach weight lifting.  If I’m not slightly dizzy or if my delts of biceps don’t feel like they’re gonna explode when I’m done with that set then I’m not hitting it hard enough.    Like my signature say’s……Pain is just fear leaving your body!!  And right now the only thing I fear is not being ready in April

Nine months till contest day…Yikes!!!  Man that seems like a long time away but in terms of training it’s not really. 

Like the song says, "Woke up this morning feeling fine!" 

Now if you remember that song, well……you’re old!!  LOL!  Just kidding (I think)!   

Anyway I walked out this morning to start my cardio and there was a fine mist in the air.  Actually the air was so heavy it felt as though you could reach out and grab a handful.  It really smelled good though….kind of woodsy if ya know what I mean.  I love that smell….when I was growing up we lived with the Auglaze River in our backyard and a huge woods just a short distance from our front yard.  I spent a lot of time in that woods as a kid and when ever I smell that woodsy smell it always takes me back.  Anyway, back to the business at hand. 

Ran/walked down to the local park…did my stretching, and lined up for my sprints.  I ran sprints with a renewed interest this morning….in other words, I busted ass!!  Sweating was not a problem and when I was done I was dripping…..man it was humid.  I worked it for a good solid hour and then went home for breakfast.  Usually I eat 3 egg whites with one whole egg with some spices added scrambled in the microwave and an 8 oz glass of milk with 2 scoopes of protein powder.  Today since I’m upping my calorie and protein content as well as my carbs I had a veggie omelet, a bowl of oatmeal, a small steak….maybe 4oz, and my glass of protein. 

My second meal was about 8oz of turkey breast, some brown rice with cinnamon, and a salad of spinach, broccoli, and avacado slices with olive oil. Plus my glass of protein. 

Right now I’m just chillin’ but in a few I’ll be going out to bust out some reps…today is legs day!!

I’m feeling like a million bucks and .95 cents and I’m sure it’s all because I have a target now to shoot for.  Plus I had a long talk with my wife last night and she seems to be behind my efforts even though she realizes it will take some of my time away from the family.  I’m gonna try to keep her as involved in my training as much as possible though so she can feel a part of it.  I’m really hopeing that she’ll get the fever again if she is out helping to spot me and helping me with forced reps and all.  When we first met she worked out a lot and was…as the saying goes….built like a brick outhouse!! 

Soooooo, that’s my first day so far.  From now on you can expect my blogs to more closely chronicle my contest preparation instead of my normally witty blogs!! LOL!!  It’s my hope that someone a lot more in the know than myself might spot some mistakes and maybe be so kind as to point them out to me…..plus someone else who may be thinking of competeing might get some use from them.  If something comes up though that I feel strongly about you can bet I’ll be commenting on it!!!  LOL!!    

Nothing drastic……I’m still gonna compete but I think I’m gonna change contest.  I originally planned to compete in the Gopher State Classic in June 2008 but as a couple of folks have pointed out it’s not a natural event so I could be competing with someone who might be juiced and for my first experience that might not be so cool soooooo…..I’ve decided to switch to the NPC Heartland Natural Classic in April 2008.  It’s less time to prepare but I think it will be a better contest for my first experience.  They have a Novice as well as a Masters 50+ class and I’m thinking of entering both. 

Now the thing is…..I’m really getting nervous about it.  It’s been a few years since I’ve competed at anything and that little devil on my shoulder is starting to whisper in my ear…if ya know what I mean.  I know it can be done cause I’ve seen others on this very site who didn’t start till they were my age and have had great success…..still……that little seed of doubt.  Your 50 years old, whispers the devil…..you’ve only been lifting for a few months!  Those little seeds of doubt.  I really think I’ll be alright though cause I have an Angel on the other shoulder in the form of my friends and family who support me and will help me push that doubt aside and be successful.  I can not wait for April.  April 20th is my birthday and a good result in this contest would be a fantastic birthday present.

And so it begins!!  I’m tired of just floundering around saying I’m gonna compete and I’m gonna do this or that.  No More!!  I’m making a commitment starting today! 

I’ve picked a contest to compete in!!  It’s in June of 2008 so it gives me almost an entire year to prepare for it.  It’s the Gopher State Classic in Minnesota.

Now the really hard work begins….I have a definate goal and a time frame, now I just need to get to work and start busting it out. 

Being as I’m so green at this I’m kind of worried but I’m confident that I can get there.  If anyone has any suggestions as far as diet or anything else I would be most grateful.  I hope to attend 2 or 3 shows between then and now so I can get a feel for how it’s ran.  I have no idea what the manditory poses are or anything but I’ll bet you I figure it out. 

Starting today I’m upping my protein intake to a gram and a half per each pound of body weight, plus I’m upping my calorie and carb intake so I can bulk up even more.  I’m hitting the weights harder than ever and do almost everything to failure except bench press.  I train alone in my garage and don’t really want to get pinned by 200 lbs on my chest or throat.  That would kind of suck!! 

Like I said though I am a total novice at this so I can use every ounce of advise I can get.  I’ll be researching on my own but I would sure appreciate the advice from those that have been there and from the mistakes that they made the first few times out.

The important thing to me now though is that I have a plan in action and a set date to achieve the goals that I’ve set for myself.  I am sooooo stoked!!!

Doesn’t it suck when the responsibilities of everyday life gets in the way of acheiving our fitness goals???  Working a full time job, trying to be a full time mommy or daddy, finding time to spend with your spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend or whatever friend doesn’t leave a whole lot of time for anything else.  After all there are only 24 hours in a day last I checked and we should try to at least spend 7 or 8 of those hours trying to get some good quality sleep so we can be strong enough for all the other bullcrap that life throws at us. 

There isn’t really such thing as an 8 hour workday any more…..most of the people I know work overtime nearly everyday and lots of times on the weekend….just to make ends meet.  It’s Crazy!!!  Is it any wonder that there are so many overweight and unhealthy people in the US these day’s?  Who the hell has time to exercise??????   The answer to that is EVERYONE!!!

Come on now…….I realize that life can be a bitch at times but  to me it all boils down to…."How Bad Do You Want It?"  If you’re satisfied with being fat and unhealthy then you have nothing to worry about.  But, if you truly want to change your life for the better then you need to take a look at your life and make the time for exercise.  You need to take a serious look at how you spend your day and see if you can eliminate wasted time and put that time to good use.  For example……how many hours a day do you waste watching TV????  Instead of sitting on your can for a 2 hour episode of American Idol why not spend that time in the gym??? 

If you just can’t live without watching your favorite show they do have these little things called DVR’s and VCR’s that will allow you to record your favorite show and watch it when you have a little down time.

How about incorporating family time and fitness time together???  Instead of going out to eat or going to a movie why not go to a park or a hiking trail and get a little workout or how bout going out in the yard as a family and playing wiffle ball.  The whole family will benefit from the experience.  Or hey, how bout this…..buy a family membership to the "Y"!  There is pretty much one with in a decent distance of every home in America.  Take the whole family to the "Y"….turn the kids lose and Mom and Dad can go hit the weights or maybe take a fitness class of which there are many to choose from. 

And single people…..how bout a fitness date????  Take your date to play Tennis or join a co-ed gym together…..get all sweaty and then go home and do it like bunnies!!!!  LOL!!Bonus!!!  More cardio!  (Maybe I shouldn’t have said that.)  

Anyway…..the point is if you want it bad enough and are serious about getting your health back then you need to re-evaluate the way you spend your time and find time to build a healthy lifestyle for you and your family. 

Tell your boss NO!!  You work to live….not the other way around.  When your friends call you to go to the bar and knock a few down after work say NO I’m taking my wife and kids to the gym tonight. 

Reality does bite but….you can bite it back!    

There is about to be some changes made and I’m expecting big results.  I feel I’ve already made some big gains in the short period of time I’ve been back at this but I am in no way satisfied. 

Soooooo I’m changing some things up.  I’m gonna go to a six day spilit and the routine will look something like this:

Monday:  Chest, Traps & Lats, Shoulders

Tuesday:  Arms, Abs

Wednesday: Legs

Thursday:  Back, Traps & Lats, Shoulders

Friday:  Arms, Abs

Saturday:  Legs and maybe some chest

Sunday:  Day of Rest.

I’m still gonna hit the cardio every morning which has been sprinting, hopping for fast twitch muscles, jumping rope, and 6 or 7 rounds on the heavy bag.  I may add some cardio in the evening.  I know this sounds like a lot of cardio and a lot of ya all don’t believe in that but I still have some flubber that needs to go bye bye so till it does the cardio has to stay intense. 

I especially have to get rid of this stinkin fat on the side of my chest like right under my arms….thats disgusting and is messing up my taper.  If anyone knows a better way to get rid of this problem area I’m open for suggestion.

My next short term goal is to be the Transformation of the Week.  I really want to make this happen so I will be hitting it hard.  I’ve also been swimming a lot of laps in the afternoon and I expect to keep that up as well.  Stay tuned ya all cause there are going to be some big changes for me and I’m just getting started!!!