The Chronicles of “B”

Just like a junkie needs his fix I am addicted to the quest for muscle.  Yep it’s official!  I spend nearly every waking hour toward my quest of the perfect physique.  I wake every morning and the first thing I do is look in the full length mirror on the back of my bedroom door scanning my naked bod for any change.  I flex, I pose, I stretch, I admire!!

Then I strap on my running shoes and head out the door in search of that fix….that rush.  I jog to the park and once there I stretch and then line up to run sprints till I’m ready to drop.  If you don’t push yourself past that pain threshold you won’t get that Endorphin rush and I need that rush mannnn!!!

I then run jog back to the house…..pushing myself hard on the runs like the Devil himself is on my ass.  I hit the door….stretch…..fix the breakfast and then settle in for some BodySpace time. 

When I’m in front of the computer it may seem as though I’m relaxing but in reality I’m still seeking that fix!  I’m scanning articles looking for any little tip that might get me that extra pump….checking out profiles absorbing as much inspiration as I can absorb, reading blogs looking for that little boost….that subtle little push, anything that will help me in my quest.  Gotta have It!!!!!

I connect with friends and exchange information and words of inspiration.  I can’t help myself man….I’m hooked and I can’t stop!!  There’s no going back now….it’s in my soul and I can’t give it up.  Ain’t no cure gonna heal my itch!!  It’s madness!!!!!  My wife and kids think I’m going insane.  I’m constantly asking them to help me take pics…spot me…flexing for them, begging them to feel my muscle….does it look or feel any different than yesterday???? The week before????  DOES IT??????   WELL DOES IT????

  When I’m not working out I’m looking for new and better ways to workout or I’m thinking about working out.

Yep my name is Bryan and I’m a muscleholic!!

And damn proud of it!

Every morning after my cardio and streatch I fix my breakfast and then settle in front of the computer to relax and eat.  Yesterday as I was surfing the net I can across an article that said, "Seniors Should Embrace Old Age!"  The article went on to talk about how seniors, 50 or above, should embrace the changes in their bodies and accept them as a natural part of normal aging.  WHAT????  What a load of crap!!  What kind of idiot would tell someone they should accept, hearing loss or loss of vision as normal signs of aging??????

"Oh it’s okay Mr. Smith that your joints hurt so bad that you can barely move  and that you have high blood pressure and sugar or that you can no longer get or maintain an erection because your 40lbs overweight…..it’s all a normal part of aging."  "Just embrace it and don’t worry about it…..we’ll just put you on some meds and all your worries (along with your money) will go away.   This is not aging gracefully!!  This is BS and the sad part is that there are a lot of people out there who will read that and accept it as gospel.  Well not this guy! 

One of my favorite quotes is, "Rage! Rage against the dying of the light!"  I don’t know who said it but what they are saying is DO NOT go quietly into the night……go out kickin’ and screamin’ my friend!!

Aging gracefully to me is being as healthy as I can possibly be so I can enjoy my senior years.  Like I’ve said before I want to live to 120 and I want to die in my sleep in my own bed after making love to my equally fit wife.

What’s that other old saying????  Moss don’t grow on no rolling stone.  I plan on rolling for a long time to come….rock and rolling!!

That’s why I enjoy this site so much!  There are people on here who didn’t start lifting till they were over 50 and are competeing into their 60’s!!  That’s awesome!!  They are such an inspiration to me and others that we don’t have to accept failing health as a normal part of aging.  We can and will thrive even into advanced age. 

I"M DONE…..I’VE HAD IT!!!  No more doctors!!  I don’t care if my knee falls off.  This torn meniscus thing is making me crazy.  I was scheduled to go in for pre-op blood work today and when I got there I stood at the registration desk, and stood, and stood…….and stood.  Finally after bout a half hour I made it to the desk and got registered only to sit for another hour.  Oh, and BTW they had crappy magazines so I was completely bored and just sat there stewing in my anger.  At long last I get back to the lab and I ask the nurse what test they would be doing and she looked at me like I just told her she had a booger hanging from her nose or something.  "Well Mr. Gile you probably wouldn’t understand what they were for even if I told you," she told me with a snotty look.  So I told her…."Well maybe you should explain it to me then because not one drop of blood is leaving my body till I know what it’s being used for!!"

Now she’s having a cow but ya know what….I don’t give a damn because I am sick and tired of being ordered around by these people and no one is answering my questions, and I’m paying thousands of dollars for things that I’m not even sure are necessary!!  It’s all BS!!  And then today when I get home, after not giving blood, I find out that the insurance company called and since I’m scheduled to have surgery as an outpatient the insurance company will only pick up 60%!!  That leaves me holding the bag for 40% of a surgery that I don’t think I even need and will probably carry a price tag of $10,000 plus.  No Freakin Way!!!

No here’s the "coup de grace" till this doctor releases me or till I find another doctor that will examine me and give me a clean bill of health I can’t return to work.  This just keeps getting better and better.

I think I better go for right now before I start thinking about finding a rope and a tall tree and hanging either myself or a few medical and insurance personnell.

A very smart, outspoken and beautiful woman wrote a blog today that I enjoyed very much and I wanted give it a little more attention  and post my response to it in my blog and maybe elaborate a little more.  You may read her blog and then read my following reply:

While I do find the beauty and power of the female muscular physigue very sexual and at times erotic I must agree that the kind of pic that you’re speaking of has nothing to do with the female physique.  That pic was just vulgar and had nothing to do with bodybuilding.  I personally am not offended by nudity and think the human body is beautiful but there is a time and place for everything and this site can be visited by teens and younger and so it has no place here.  As far as middle aged men going gaa gaa over these young girls I agree.  Case in point….a young 18 year old girl recently had the most profile visits and the only thing she had on her page was one profile pic.  she reached #1 on the strength of being pretty and 18….now that’s sad.  I would like to say I admire you for speaking your mind even if it might not be a popular veiw.  Good for you. 

I think it took a lot of courage to write that and even if you don’t agree with her views you have to admire her for speaking her mind.  It’s obvious she is passionate about bodybuilding and doesn’t want this to turn into a soft porn site.  Like I said in my response….I personally have noooo problem with nudity and if this site had a seperate area for that sort of thing where it could not be access by children I would not only approve but would participate.  That is as long as it focused on muscularity and not just nudity.  But since such an area doesn’t exsist we should remember that small eyes are upon us and people come here to learn and get inspiratiion, not get an eyeful.   

Woke up this morning chomping at the bit all fired up to hit the road and do some kick a$$ cardio but when I rolled out of bed and look out the window I was instantly bummed…..DAMN!  It’s raining!!!  Not a little mist either…..it’s of the cat and dog variety.  Now I don’t mind running if it’s cold or maybe just a little damp and misty but there is no way I’m getting soaked to the skin and staying that way for an hour.  I’m not that hardcore!  Hell No!  So feeling a little down I crawled back to bed and laid back down beside me wife.  "Aren’t you running this morning," she asked.  "Nope, not in the Rain."  "Guess I just won’t get any cardio this morning."  She then snuggled up beside me and whispered……"Is sex considered good cardio????"  Hmmmmm, I pondered the question for a few minutes before answering.  Well I suppose that depends on a lot of different factors…..ya know, like length of time your making love, the intensity of your lovemaking.  I then went on at length and great detail explaining that if you could keep the intensity level high and sustain that level for a good 20 to 30 minutes….not including foreplay, then YES it would probably be considered good cardio.  I turned toward her now ready to get busy….anticipating an awesome workout when she turned her back to me pulled the covers up over her head and said….."forget it….you’ve ruined the mood now."  WTF!!  I then heard her giggleing and realized that she was just jacking with me…..sometimes she is sooooo evil.  Anyway to make a long boring story short we did the deed and yes it was a kick a$$ cardio session.  Hooo Rayyyy for cardio in the morning!!  Don’t know how many calories I burned but who gives a damn….it was still lots of fun.  I love rainy Sunday mornings. 

Today was weigh-in day and man I can’t figure that scale out.  I stayed at 220 for several weeks which was up from my starting weight of 210.  I didn’t freek to bad over that because I knew I was losing inches and putting on muscle but a 10 lb jump seemed a little crazy.  Well after staying at 220 for a while I then crept up to 230!!  My pants were falling off of me but I was gaining weight!!  CRAZY!  Again though I wasn’t too concerned cause I could see the muscle starting to thicken, especially in the chest so…….no biggie.  Well today I stepped on that wacky scale and I’m down 5 lbs.  What???  That’s the direction I want to be heading in but I don’t know what I’ve done differently to get the scale to start moving down?????????  Whatever it is I really hope it continues cause I really want to bring it in at about 185lbs of raw lean muscle at least by the end of the year.  By Labor Day would be better but I really can’t picture that happening but ya never know!  I have stepped up the intensity of my cardio by adding windsprints so maybe that’s the difference maker.  Time will tell.

Man oh man!!  The more I think about this sugery deal the more I’m thinking, screw it.  I don’t mean to sound like a big wussy but to be honest I’m not convinced I really need it.  It’s true that I have had some pain but nothing really serious. Plus, I’ve been running sprints, jumping rope and doing all kinds of jumping and hopping for my fast twitch muscles.  You would think that if I had a serious problem than I wouldn’t be able to do all that.  I even been doing leg extenions and curls and before they told me to stop I was doing squats and lunges without any problem.  I’m starting to think this Doc is full of crap!  One of the main reasons I’m starting to have second thoughts about this whole process is that he wants me to see another Doc before surgery to make sure I’m heart healthy and all.  The reason being that I haven’t been to a doctor in years so I don’t really have a medical history for him to evaluate and he doesn’t want me dying on the table froma heart attack so my wifey can sue him.  .  But the thing is I am so healthy it’s sickening and I never have to go to the Doctor because where my health is concerned I’m proactive.  Well anyway today this other Doctor called me to explain just what he was going to do to evaluate me and one of the things he wants to do is a heart cath.  BULLSHIT!!!!  If you don’t know what that is let me explain.  Basically they open the main atery in the crease of your leg right by your crotch and then run a tube through the artery, to the heart and then inject some dye to view your heart after a stress test.  I made it very clear this is not going to happen.

Here’s what I’m thinking….I’m already taking MSM with Glucosimine for my joints I think I’ll just pump that up a little, cut back on any food that causes inflamation, start doing more exercises to strengthen the knee joint, and tell the Doc to go to…..well…..you know where.  I’m tired of having Doctors dictate to me.  I know my body better than anyone….hell I’ve been monitoring my own health for years and I’ve done a pretty good job so far.  They have me scheduled for surgery July 6th so I have till then to back out.  I think I’ll do just what I said and then evaluate my situation a couple of days before the surgery.  If anyone has any input I would sure appreciate it.

Testosterone!  In the world of bodybuilding it’s the king of all hormones.  Testosterone….builder of muscle, maintainer of erections…..you pump up our muscles and put the drive in our sex drive.  Without it our muscles as well as our testicles turn to shit!!  Even women need testosterone.  We take supplements designed to boost our bodies production of testosterone and some hard core lifters even inject it.  OUCH!  I myself take several supplements to boost testosterone as well as eating foods that are suppose to do the same.  I assume it’s working cause I can really feel the pump plus I have sex on an average of once a day with no problems and still wake up each and every day with morning wood.  Hmmmmm maybe that’s to much info for a public forum….anyway as much as we covet testosterone I also hate the downside of this awesome hormone.  It’s byproduct DHT kills the hair follicles on our heads but as we get older it grows hair in every other place imaginable except our damn heads!!  We don’t have any hair on top but we have to shave our ears and pluck our nose hair.  UGH!!!  That’s nasty!!  It causes the prostate to swell to the size of a football making you feel like you constantly have to piss but makes going wee wee an adventure in futility.  I’ve also noticed that as my testosterone increases I am much more prone to get acne.  I need that like I need a shotgun blast to the face for crying out loud!!!!  Ahhhhh Testoterone…..king of hormones…oh how I love thee….oh how I hate thee!!

Well my worst fears have come true….I have to have knee surgery.  This is total BS!!!  Seems I have a torn meniscus and the only way to repair it is to have the knee scoped.  GREAT!!!  The really crappy part is that I may have to wait as long as a month to get it done because I have to go see another doctor first to be certain that I don’t have any hidden medical problems that could pop up during surgery like heart arithmia. I haven’t been to a doctor in like forever so just to be on the safe side they want to make sure I’m ok first.  Then after the surgery it could be a month or longer before I’m able to get back to where I was before.  In the meantime that means no squats. no leg work of any kind…no running and no jumping….so there goes my cardio.  I am so pissed.  And what’s really the straw that broke the camels back is that my other knee is starting to show signs of the same thing and after this surgery and recovery we’re gonna evaluate the other knee and I’ll likely have to have that knee scoped as well.  If anyone else has had this surgery I would sure appreciate any input you could give me as to what I might expect.  In the meantime I guess I’ll just continue to watch my diet, and work the upper body as best I can.  MAN!!!  I just bought a heavy bag to so I could add a little more variety to my cardio routines.  This sucks!!! 

I’m a person who unfortunatly needs a lot of reinforcement and motivation…..simply put…..I’m frekin’ lazy.  Not all the time mind you but when it comes to peeling my ass out of my nice warm bed in the morning to go run wind sprints, welllllll sometimes it’s difficult.  I often come here for a dose of inspiration and looking and reading about all the hard bodies makes me feel so guilty that I am sometimes lazy. 

Then last night I went to ChickenTuna’s profile as I’ve done a million times, along with just about everyone else on this site.  Last night though instead of just looking at the pics, which by the way are flippin’ incredible, I actually took the time to read a little bit about her including going to her site, and what I read really opened up my eyes.  Hey!!!!  I’m not the only person who hates working out!!!  Even someone as fit and ripped as CT obviously is (again check out the incredible pics) needs to be motivated once in a while.  She’s dead on…."Working out like a maniac IS a pain in the ass!"  But the alternative is worse; a life of being fat and unhealthy.  What a revelation!!  I have to admit that I thought anybody that looked as good as her had to live in the gym and probably loved.  Uh uh!!  Not true!!  But really, doesn’t it make sense????  What person in his right mind would want to eat plain tuna out of a can instead of a nice big moist piece of chocolate cake with a nice cold glass of WHOLE milk???  No one that I know.  We don’t do it cause we love it…..we do it for the results man!!  Who doesn’t want to be admired for their smoking hot body or for that matter who doesn’t just want to feel comfortable in their skin and have people say, "hey, your looking pretty good today."  Again, no one I know.  And who in their right mind would choose to be unhealthy if there’’s an alternative.  I watched my mother suffer from heart disease and I had to watch her lying on a hospital bed and grab me by the shirt and beg me to please make it stop hurting and listen to her beg God to just let her die so the pain would stop……this could be my future….if I let it….if I didn’t take my lazy ass out of bed and go out and run those sprints….if I just quit trying cause I hate to get up.  Not this guy!!  I’m never gonna put my wife and kids through that kind of pain…ever.  So from now on I’m gonna run my sprints, and I’m gonna hit those weights, and I’m gonna hate it just as much as I always have but I’ll be secure in the fact that I’m doing what’s right for me and my loved ones, and that I’m not the only one who thinks it’s a pain in the ass.  Thanks ChickenTuna!!