165 Days - This year is a Quest
Well, yesterday late in the day I realized that all is a quest now. Quest how far I may go and which obstacles I may overcome.
This year on the beginning I was SO focused as nobody. I had my precontest diet in the time when other competitors just started to train seriously. I trained under the strict leadership of one of the most hardcore coaches in the republic.
Many people told me that to train under his leadership is a suicide. But he was a Pro coach and he helped many "stars" to shine. I was not a star but I wanted to show him I am good enough to be his trainee - as oficially I was not. He oficially did not train me….
But in real he did. I was 11 weeks pre and I was more ready than ever in my life. Even the guys in the gym noticed it. Some people told me I am in the best shape they ever saw me… And I finally found the right way and I did things right. No cheating, no light trainings….
Than the illness came and took away all my dreams and hopes. It is a life. Always hits you when you are less prepared. But first days and weeks the sport helped me to survive. It was a game about my life. And that was also the reason why I was so ballanced that time… but it is gone and I am back… with all of my bad habbits too…
I was stronger than ever - when I was ill. But now I few weeeks ago was in the reality of competitive season. First I helped to some competitors to prepare including that I did the last week with one figure girl day after day - I worked on her carb loading and potassium manipulations and she really relied on me.. - so I was very close to the backstage athmosphere.
Than I helped with promoting National NABBA competitions. Helping there to my fiance while seing others to compete and how they were nominated to the national team… It was very painfull for me, because that was the stage I wished to be on. And I WAS qualified also on NAC World Championship…
So the wounds I got during the illness were bleeding again…
Now - after 8 weeks I was back in training. I did weights I never lifted before and I was focused to go not to 100% but 150% right… but first new hit was, that the coach refuse to let me compete this season. I lost almost 1/2 of the energy. Than the next hit was two days ago, when I hurt my right shoulder (now it looks like it is ripped inside or inflamated)..
So only 8 weeks after the illness I am hurt again…
But a day before yesterday I had a small reason why to smile, when one local bodybuilder asked me if I am on juice. He said I am really big now - off course in the wrong quality. But he told me he never saw a girl with quads like me. Also he told me that if I rested so long time, it is a clear thing, that all new gained weight goes to the new muscles… and he told me I really gained a lot of "new meat" … as well as he told that it is really a pitty that I did not compete because I looked GREAT 11 weeks precontest… This really made me to lift my head up.
This whole year is a quest and I dont want to let it go!
