BootyBrandy’s BodyBlog

Author: Sonny Carroll

A time comes in your life when you finally get it … when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out ENOUGH!!!

Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening.

You realize it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change…or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon.

You come to terms with the fact that you are neither Prince Charming or Cinderella and that in the real world there aren’t always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you…and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are…and that’s OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions.

And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself…and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval. You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn’t do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it’s not always about you.

So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself…and in the process a sense of safety and security
is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties…and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche.

And you begin to sift through all the junk you’ve been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you should weigh, what you should wear, what you should do for a living, how much money you should make, what you should drive, how and where you should live, who you should marry, the importance of having and raising children, and what you owe your parents, family, and friends.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you
are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with…and in the process you learn to go with your instincts.

You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don’t know everything, it’s not your job to save the world and that you can’t teach a pig to sing.

You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.

You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away.

You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be.

You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.

And you learn that alone does not mean lonely.

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.

You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK…and that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things you want…and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.

You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won’t settle for less.

And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise.

You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest.

And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you deserve…and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance.

You also learn that no one can do it all alone…and that it’s OK to risk asking for help.

You learn the only thing you must truly fear is the greatest robber baron of all: FEAR itself.

You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms. And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.

You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things.

You learn that God isn’t punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It’s just life happening.

And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego.

You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart’s desire.

And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart and God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can.

OK, so the holidays were not so good for the gym routine. This was the first week I have really gotten back into eating well and working out. Really need to lose that blubber around my belly. I turn 30 in a little less than six weeks now. The goal is to be in the best shape yet by my birthday. Which means no cookie breaks. All the newbies with their new years resolutions are really messin with my mojo at the gym too. Although, I did have a lady who was running next to me tell me that she looked at me and said to herself I want to look like that. Totally rewarding. Felt like I was inspiration that day. Anyhow the goal is cardio 5 days this week. Two days down, now just to get those last three in.

just got on my page and realize how much I am slacking. Really need to do some updating. I used to visit frequently just to stay motivated, anytime I was feeling like just being lazy or eating cookies all day, I would come on here and find what I needed to make me go eat a turkey sammich instead. anyhow, thats my goal for the week is to get back into my routine of findin inspiration on this sight.

So, I dumped a bike and myself two weeks ago and jacked up my shoulder. I thought it was feeling better over the weekend so I attempted to do curls, which made it hurt again. So last night I thought I just wonder if I could do push-ups. which I can’t. Everytime I go to the gym and can’t do any upper body I just imagine my muscle deteriorating. I thought I was getting close to being able to do a one-handed push-up, although I could only do a few "girl style" but now I will be starting fresh.

At last! For the first time this weekend, I looked in the mirror and thought, yeah, I am making some progress. My diet has been pretty darn good for about the last three weeks or so. I ate some lobster ravioli yesterday (uh, yeah that’s 70 g of fat) and I was a little guilt ridden afterward. but other than that, my diet has been damn near perfect. I can tell the fat around my abs has drastically decreased and my abs are definitely getting flatter. I feel like I am finally in control. Like I am defeating the little fat demon inside me. Hopefully I am not speaking too soon. It is my birthday this weekend and I could very well have a different story next week. but hey, I will be 29 and I absolutely look better than I ever have before.

Ok, I have told women on numerous occasions to step off the scale and just look in the mirror. I have always said I don’t care if I weigh 100 lbs or 150, if I like the way I look, its irrelevant. However, at the beginning of the year I made a list of fitness goals and one of those was to have my bmi down to 19% by 2/1. I hit some hiccups in my diet and realized I was not going to be there but why did I step on the scale this weekend and it tells me that my bmi is 22%, which is 1% more than it was at the 1st of the year! I have been doing well on my diet and for the first time could look in the mirror and think I was actually making some progress in the ab area and I litterally wanted to stomp on the scale.

I dont know at what point I lost it but sometime in the last few weeks I have apparently decided to let the fat girl inside me win. I know the patern and that is why when people say one bite wont hurt or you look great you can cheat a little I fight the temptation because I am a junky when it comes to anything unhealthy. it starts with one cookie and the next thing you know I am shoveling junk food into my mouth everyday for a week until I am so disgusted with myself that I go back on my strict, dont even think about it diet. I am trying to get my body fat down because I am please with every improvement I have made except my belly, and the jelly rolls are seriously disgusting me. however, I dont seem to be the least bit fazed by that when I am helping myself to the candy bowl. God - does it ever get easier? Do I really have to endure this punishment forever? if they can make diet soda with 0 calories why can’t I get a diet brownie, damnit! Am I just doomed here? Do I just not have the same mindset as other people on here? I mean I am not the "my body is a temple" type i am just simply vain, plain and simple. and like every other american out there, I want to be able to eat whatever I want and have there be no consequence. And I am not even going to pretend like I am not going to get drunk and eat everything in sight on superbowl sunday (when the colts kick the bears ass!)

So let me say that I generally go to the gym late. I go late for several reasons, I work two jobs so it is hard for me to fit the gym in, I am bothered and/or intimidated by people who stare or talk to me at the gym and the gym is generally almost dead by the time I go. As much as I encourage people to get in shape and wish them the best, people and their new years resolutions are messing up my routine. The last three times I have been to the gym it has been packed, so packed we have had to wait on cardio machines. my friend even said it was busy during the colts game (wtf!) who the heck is working out during the game! The fact that half of these people will have fallen off in the next two months makes it tolerable, however it also makes it more annoying that they are messing up my routine and arent going to stick it out. Although I slacked off a lot during the holidays and am regretting it now but now I am trying to be back in the gym on a regular and am quickly getting back to where I was so this little kink in my routine is really erking me. maybe nobody else feels me on this but its really freaking annoying me.

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