Bluedam’s BodyBlog

Believe it or not I heard that phrase uttered by a gym member with a small penis complex I suspect this morning. At first I could not figure out what the other men were complaining about in the gym during one of those rare moments when my ipod went quiet between songs. Their focus was on a lady benching damn impressively. Did she have more muscle than them i thought. Then it dawned on me, they were finished with their triceps and biceps routine and ready to move onto benching but this l"il lady" was in their way. I have to say she was in a serious workout and the guys intimidating looks over and loud sighs were as useful as a yoghurt slicer.

I have a big mouth and go to the gym to workout not make buddies. Couldnt help say out loud more of a bodybuilder than you buddy and moved on.

It just reinforced my opinion of strong determined ladies. That damsel in distress forefinger in mouth days are gone. The good guys not meatheads love the ladies as strong minded and willed as us. Tosser boy likes to intimidate rather than initiate. Well thats my theory anyway.  

I have found I am more motivated when I can picture something or break it down into segmented parts. For example if I am using a rowing machine I may do twenty minutes and break into four quaters and treat it like a basketball game. I know it sounds weird but it works for me.

Regular readers of this blog will know that the car park attendant and I in work regularly share ideas on working out and how we can better things. I actually look forward to telling the guy how my workout went in the mornings after I park up and I think it is vice versa. He is older than me and I think he gets a kick out of sharing his experience.

A while back he gave me a programme for squating. Ive been slowly building up the weight with his help. He had a great way of putting it and motivating me. I was to imagine I was carrying a calf up a mountain. The more weight I added the older the bullock was to get.

So as I park the car this morning he asks "how olds that baby bull of yours now?"

"Seven" I reply

"How is it feeling?" he asks.

"Like its in heat" I replied.

Quick as a flash he says "I thought you had a freshly f%^Ked glow about you alright!""

I just burst out laughing and still am any time I think of it.

I dont know if any of you have get these e-mails that go about saying how we should feel at a certain age. Im not too far from turning thirty and I know some things will never change and some things will never be cool. Do any of these sound familiar..

1) I always end up dancing like a lunatic at a wedding even though I say I wont.

2) I always screw things up first time.

3) Tits/Breasts will never lose their fascination.

4) Working out is for life.

5) Skulls are cool, always will be. 

6)A meal is not a meal without meat.

7) Studying sucks. What the hell am I still doing it at my age. Maybe my grammer is the reason why.

8) I complained about it but I had more disposable income when I was a student.

9) Car chases in movies will always be cool. That and al pacino and de niro unless they are doing comedy.

10) Restaurants are damn boring. He is taking too long with my food. Im bored. Prentetious arseholes everywhere.

11) The opera will never appeal.

12) Morning sex. Yes we are all doing it. You can beat an egg but not it.

13) Mullets no matter how fashionable its a no go.

14) Same goes for y-fronts.

15) You have to listen to music loudly.

16) I love staying up and out late. Preferabbly with some beer.

Feel free to add your own. 

Ive really been putting the shoulder to the wheel lately working out. I fluctuate between feeling like I’m going to collapse from fatigue and feeling like Ive just been to see Metallica. I mention them in this blog as I got a ticket for their forthcoming concert in Ireland. Getting back to the point boh feelings pose a reaction. When I feel tired I work out more. I feel energy breathes energy. When I feel good Im thinking how can I do more.

In a strange way when I’m buzzing after a workout it feels like everything else is going in slow motion. For one I have not got my ipod shuffle ( 21st century numero uno invention) blasting away in my ears. Just wondering if anyone else gets this feeling. Its like you have primed the body and the mind is just so much sharper and more alert. I notice it workwise in the morning. Hell when my wife talks about the sex in the city movie it registers, I begin to have an idea of dates (not my strong point) and even remember special occassions.

I just feel damn good, pure happy and wanting to continue. I got a text message from a buddy of mine who gave up the cancer sticks at the same time asking would I be interested in a weekly game of squash. I know it is not very bodybuilding but he is struggling staying off the things and Im hoping to give something back from what I get out of this. Want to ride this road as long as I can!

of an Irishman that was completely unfit, ate the wrong type of foods and drank way to much beer. So one day he said this had to stop and he had to replace it with something else. He bought some weights and a cross trainer and worked out for a while.  Then this had to stop as his girlfriend was getting pissed of tripping over weights and listening to him working out on a cross trainer. So he comprimised and gave up smoking and joined a gym, and the girlfriend became a wife. He then found bodybuilding.com and found like minded people who gave him motivation to push himself further and allow him to be whatever he wanted. So this story wont have an ending it will just change and progress in beneficial ways and hopefully you all get as much out of the camaraderie on this site as I do. Now Im going to go and lift some damn weights as there has been far too much cheese from me today guys

I go to the gym two days a week before work and the workout brings so many positives.I have the gym to myself. No one is inflicted with my butt ugly weight lifting face. It is not pretty believe me. The night before my wife is cracking up laughing but I am geting better. Let me explain and get your mind out of the gutter. I hit the gym for 7, so awake at 6.20. Dressed, shave, shake and drive there. I was never a morning person beforehand. Thats underestimating it I was a complete oscar the bloody grouch. Things had to change and a fellow bb member gave me the inspiration.

When I first started it would take me half an hour to pack! Have the suit ready, gym clothes laid out and shake prepared. I have now got it down to ten minutes. For the first couple of weeks I forgot something every time. Not things like cufflinks or after shave. No a towel or change of boxers was the two items in the first week! Don’t ask how I improvised.

I usually give a good buddy of mine a lift. Car pooling. Im aware of my carbon whatever! Bit of a contradiction I know. He works in the civil service and wants me to shut up but usually comes around after five minutes. We blast music, share wise cracks and talk about his love life. He has become quite the lethario since growing a beard.

I have to say when I hit work after the commute. I’m sharp. I can tell my work colleagues are still adjusting to the day and saying who is your man breezing around saying a chirpy hello to me at this ungodly hour of the day. I was formerly one of them. I have a meeting with the boss man and I am looking forward to it. Its like yes boss man I did that, no I didnt do that, your right there I need to get my act together and off I hop to it.

I am almost expecting something to go wrong I’m that damn happy. If it does this positive mental attitude will get me through it.

Im a great believer in using whatever you can as motivation to keep you working out. I needed some extra motivation this week as it has being a sluggish one for some reason. I have found it in the most under-rated set of films. Rocky!! I bought the set and have just watched the first one. It is just good old fashioned great entertainment. You can keep your rom-coms and slasher films as far as I am concerned. My plan is to watch one a week when I get sluggish. I even have downloaded Survivor and put it on the ipod. Yes I know I have some growing up to do and I’m under pressure as I turn thirty this year. Hit the gym already today and after watching the film Im itching to get there again.

There is some absolute comedy gold in the film as well with Paulie being the main butt of the jokes. I am itching to watch the one with Clubber Lang. For those of you unfamiliar he is Mr T in the third one (my favourite). I remember getting his hairstyle done when I was a kid. My parents lost the plot. Everyone else was busy going for the George Michael/Bon Jovi hair look and I walk into the school yard with a mohalk. I suppose I wasnt the average kid. My contempories were listing to kriss bross, I was listening to Baby got Back. Brit bands were big in my teens, I was good luck to that I’m listening to Faith no More and Metallica and so on.

So I suppose Im not going to be the average adult either so while everyone else is out drinking up the weekend Im watching Rocky. Maybe it is not the most exciting thing to be doing on a Saturday night but I think I’ll be hangover free tomorrow.  

Working out has really jump started my appetite. In fact it has sky rocketed. That and I used to smoke. I love saying that. I gave up on New Years Eve. I decided 2008 was going to be the Year I go smoke free. I have to say best decision I ever made. I smell better, taste better according to my wife and am actually there for conversations when we socialise.

No point looking back but I have no idea how I smoked for so long. Actually I do I was addicted to the bloody things. Anyway my taste buds are blossoming. That and I realise now how important it is to fuel my body. As a result I’m eating like Homer Simpson after he has gone through a 24hr fast. Except Im eating clean. Ive discovered all sorts of new foods. Seriously has you asked me what asparagus, raddish or rocket was six months ago I would have guessed you were talking about the solar system.

I was at another wedding yesterday. It’s all I seem to do lately. Just hitting that stage really. This was a wedding party though in a marquee. It was a great bash and the food was a buffet. Lately I just dont seem to fill up and had three servings. I could see the girl serving me behind the counter throwing her eyes to heaven on the third occassion I went up. Cant blame her I suppose. I just loved the phrase my wife threw at me. Your like hungers mother!! She was not wrong.

I have become a bit of a gym rat and as such I decided (with some heavy prompting) that I needed to spend some quality time with my wife and indulge in an outdoor activity together. Being a long weekend I decided that we would go for a hike. Back to nature that’s what we needed. Getting too old for drinking and clubbing you see.

Now the thing is I haven’t been hiking in fifteen years and forward planning is not one of my strongest attrbutes. I’d decided on a nice cliff walk that would do the trick and having researched on the web had gone for "a challenging but enjoyable not for beginners hike".

Things started off pleasantly enough but as you can probably tell from the above pictures they soon deteoriated. As we walked further along the cliffs a steady mist came in from the Irish Sea. This had been forwarned I later found out but muscle head here forgot to check the weather forecast. In my defence though it had looked very pleasant earlier in the day.

I tried not to betray how I was feeling acting the manly man but even I had a sharp in take of breath when we happened across the above collapsed cliff edge. As it got mistier things became even more blair witch. Yes I did have snot in my nose but there was absolutely no one else around and the light in the second photo kept moving. Aliens I thought and maybe I should offer them a cup of coffee from our flask. My wife’s patience was wearing thin at this stage especially as we passed the same graffiti laden bench a second time. We completed the hike one hour and forty minutes later than we should have.

 There were no complaints as I headed off to the gym this morning. Perhaps we will try a safer activity like getting pissed and clubbing next time!!

I have been watching the top 100 songs on Kerrang TV and for the hell of it have decided to share my random thoughts on the top 15.I know its not bodybuilding but hey you might work out to a few..

No 15. Guns n Roses. Paradise City. Some how think there could be a lot worst tunes to come on this list. Not their best song and not their worst but some great drumming and Axel giving it loads.

No 14. Blink 182 All the small things. Small song, enough said.

No 13.  Bloody Bon Jovi. Doesnt matter how bad that name is. Give love a bad name, big hair, tight jeans, ladies love it for some reason. This song is shockingly bad. My ears are bleeding!! 

No 12. Foo Fighters. All my life. From the drumming intro, quiet whisper and dynamite kick off main event, this is a great song. Full of angst, little bit of whispering and then a great just nod your head to it cause you know it will kick of with a QOTSA consistency, enjoy the strumming tip the head and here are a band that you would just love to see live. Praise indeed. 

No 11 Motorhead. Ace of Spades. Yes rock!!! Some serious hair, strumming, dancing with the devil, is it all a game or unsettling. We all have our own take…. 

No 10 The Killers. Somebody told me. Love this band. Great song, they cant seem to do any wrong.

No 9 Run DMC & Aerosmith. Not my type of song but….To me whoever set up the song was on a winner and deserved all the royalties. 

No 8 Fall out Boy. This aint a Scene. It is no fat lip. It is nothing. I would rather stick pins in my eyes. Video sucks that bad.

No 7. No doubt. Just a girl. Not your rockiest song in the world but cant knock the catchy loveability about it. Little bit of playing in a garage with a fit girlie to it. Just a great voice on Gwen that distinguished them. Her energy, bit of base guitarist spurned, great mixture.

No 6 Nirvana Teenspirit. Nothing I say about this song could add anything to it. Bar if I was in the video I would have moped the floors so much better.

No 5 Bon Jovi Livin On a Prayer. Cough song stinks dont give a **** about tommys luck after working on the docks. Will they make it or not and give it a shot. Big hair big deodereont needed. Can you tell I’m not a fan.

No 4 Greenday. American Idiot. Somehow I dont think it is the classic they think it is. Is it me or is it just that their older stuff was so much better.

No3. Queen. We will rock you. Played this on our wedding day for kitsch value as much as anything. What a show man was Freddie. This song is always underestimated. Its a cracker to listen to, again and again.

No2. My chemical romance. I’m not ok. How is this at number two in the list. Who has rigged the vote. I seen this band life at a festival and the best part was when they left the stage!

NO1.  Guns N Roses.Sweet child of mine.Yes yes how this list has redeemed itself. This song comes on, no mater when, where, why its like a heat seeking misile. We will find each other, me and my mates, play air guitar, strum the air and generally go mental for ten minutes. It is what we do to this song!! Where do we go now…