A LONG rant, good news, 3 books, I’m amused, tired, and almost employed ;)
I haven’t been here since last week, way too busy. I popped in to check e-mail, order some supps and JanTana and submit an article and that was about it. I am training constantly (cardio 12x per week; weights x 5; Track/Plyo x 2 + life) and this is in addition to my two kids, studying and considering a degree swap from but figuring out how many credits I will lose, (considering nursing, MBA, and Psychology each with differing reasons) maintaining the four clients that "followed" me (I did not steal them lol) when I lost my job of several years at the same facility as a trainer and group ex leader, 2 very active and training German Shepherds, and my incredible husband who is gone 70% of the time. He is part of the maintenance as well, but I also write for three different websites in three different genres and that doesn’t count the music my husband and I are trying forever to make, one metal and another rockabilly with a "crunch"… but gets put on the back burner to all it is the most expensive yet passionate venture; our living room is cluttered with instruments, hardware for instruments, amps, cords, a stair master, my husbands gigantic drum cage and double bass set. We don’t have family here at all, we don’t have a list of babysitters so our kids are always, always with us. If we go out my son watches my daughter, but he isn’t always here either. We go to a lot of concerts, local shows, and DJ and burlesque/comedy events, we like the wierdos and the underground folks that’s for sure but are in no way "bar people" I grew up that way and ate tacos every Tuesday while my Mom played pool (ahem…hustled..she’s very good) and we go places to see live music or an act or something, but… I guess that makes us boring not to hit the bar every damned weekend 
I had the third interview for a more administrative/information systems position and it looks very good, will know by tomorrow or Wednesday; After 11 months I am done I cant stand it and we’re broke most of the time which I also cannot stand. If all goes well I will make very decent monies, finish with these root canals and then buy tits; yes tits and yes big ones, I’m not shy, I breastfed two babies for a LONG time, the girl over a year, I want my boobs back. Then likely lots and lots of tattoos, all over, and if my hubby would let me a corset piercing, but alas, it is still too weird for even him.
I had a root canal today and that is one of oh, so many, Now mind you, I have beautiful teeth, but… they seem to be turning to glass in the back and root canal after root canal it gets very pricey to keep them healthy let alone looking nice. I am so lucky I never needed braces, I wouldn’t have ever gotten them. I did get percocet prescribed and once I research and find out if I can take one and not F**k up my physique chemically, then I will.
I just did all that "soapbox" bitching because it was inspired by a very long conversation I had with a wonderful person I know, more of a friend of a friend kind of thing. She spent the entire time complaining and whining and didn’t realize it apparently as it was so out of character. We all have issues, I dont cry all the time about how I grew up in and ran away from many foster homes in colorado, and had no friends and no family and toted my baby around since I was 16 1/2 and I was a "thick girl" until I was 20 and then just a fat, lazy girl until after my daughter when I was 23. I have spent time with this woman before and shes fit and lifts heavy and eats clean and so I was really fine with my other good friend bringing her to work out with us. Each time she came to lift, a little tid bit of a bitch would escape and then more and more until every time I saw her she just bitched about something, money, time, kids, her abs (please), sex, whatever. This is why I get along with men much easier, I have several female friends but we are all one in the same brash, unique personalities; generally most women, are just too… whatever it is that I guess I am not.
I just try to make myself better every day. I have so many more issues than many people on this site, I’ve been made fun of and praised, had to tattle to a mod to have a mean statement taken down when I picked a fight in the forum, hell it was my ass cheeks that started the whole BodySpace stink years ago about most viewed and what you could wear, I fought it out with I don’t know who for nearly a week ~ and that was my pre-contest ass too, never been on stage. Despite anything and everything you say and do some will always hate what they see in you or want in you, some will always look up to you, although this is wasted effort to look up to anyone but yourself and your higher power, mine being God. I read books constantly as a means of distraction, to the point of being a bibliophile I think; and force myself not to think of negative or self defeating things, its behavior modification that has to be done to function and again no matter what I may do, some people will just be ****ty to you. No matter what I do to modify my reactions, my words, my facial expressions, tone or timber or voice, some people just have to be takers, some will always be *******s, some women will always be catty. I refuse to allow these people to suck the life out of me and generally avoid them at all costs. I am the least fake person, and likely much to honest about what goes on in my head than I should be, but if we were all like that it would be a lot better. You know that fake, phoney nice that people are sometimes? I just want to call them on it, in a blunt and direct way, but most people cant handle that and I have learned to modify… see? Still, it continues. Needless to say I will not be asking my friend to invite her friend to a work out again. Geez.
Oh, just finished reading The NEW Psychcybernetics (excellent albeit preachy), You, Inc. (meh), and The Talent Code (VERY thought provoking)
now working on The Case for a Creator, and still working on (4 months now) Physics of the Impossible
