Goodbye Figure; Hello NPC Fitness!

Friday Feb. 15th 2008

Hello Planet Bodybuilding.com ….

Well, well, well… what to say after all this time.  For those who have kept track (and there seems to be a lot of you), I have not posted in my blog for a long time.  I do regret this as blogging, for me anyway, seems to be therapeutic.

When we ended last, I had placed 4th and 5th in Figure at the Colorado State Championships this past July 2007.  Although ecstatic and then qualified for any Junior National level show; my awesome prep coaches Tracy and Cam and my entire team, thought that I should attempt a higher placing in order to go to Nationals instead of Junior Nationals, Junior USA’s, or Team Universe.  So, I competed for the fourth time, in one calendar year at the Colorado Natural, and it proved too much for body, my mind, my well being, all of it.
As a result, my physique and placing suffered and I did not come in top 5 at all, in fact I was 8th.  This was not a huge blow, as my physique was in the best condition it has ever been in, I came in two pounds lighter on the scale, but only 1.0% BF leaner, which I concluded was a loss in lean mass, which is never what I wanted. It was the fact that I, and my coaches and team, thought I should have placed at least 4 spots higher ~ and my coaches are not bullshitters by any means, they tell it like it is, good or bad; and considering both are Head NPC judges, they know what they are doing and what the NPC is looking for; and just in case you are wondering, they have to sit out of judging completely when any of their clients compete, so there is no ethical issue there at all.
It seemed that the judges opinions were so confusing, telling me I looked better than they had ever seen, and that it is due to this particular line-up that I was placed so low ~ and that they have line ups I would have placed Top 3 in…and that my physique overall is perfect for figure, and my musculature is excellent, I only need to bring my lower body in as tight, and hard as my upper comes in.  This was a hard pill to swallow since I had already shrunk and tightened my ass so much by now, that I just wanted to fall apart. How the hell do you process, after over 50 weeks of dieting that you look better than ever in your whole life, that your booty doesn’t jiggle at all and its one of your best features…and better than these exact judges have ever seen, but alas, just not quite good enough.  It really just sucks, poor sport or not, I am a real woman too.

In hindsight, I think that my salt/water manipulation could have been different, and my carb up as well; but I also was about 5 shades too light as far as my ProTan went and although my make up was perfect thanks to M.A.C. (Leah *smooch*), my straightened hair which looked killer a few hours before, frizzed up and went nuckingfutts right before pre-judging; and although it shouldn’t affect a competitors score if her hair frizzes up, Figure is about the ‘total package’ so everything gets taken into account.

So I lost nearly all motivation for any type of competition.  I continued to work out as normal, I was eating 80% clean 99% of the time.  My friends and co-workers and family (love ya Damon) tried over and over again to help me out of the hole I had dug and stuck my head into.  After a while it worked and I started to get that bug again.  I consulted with my coaches, who are actual friends now that I care for dearly and we went over everything about why I should or maybe shouldn’t pursue this.  Everyone convinced me that I should not let a competition that is judged as subjectively as figure determine my self worth, and I didn’t completely but I was heading that way.

Anyway to make a very long blog post, a little more to the point… I was convinced that I need to just pick myself up and dust myself off and work my ass off (literally) and take inventory and get this shit exactly right this time and bring my best to the stage at Team Universe 2008!!  I guess I could have said just that instead, lol… but I am a chatty girl   So get ready for more endless non-nonsensical, ill-intended blog posts after three months off and a partial ‘dirty bulk’ I am ready to kick some ass this season.  See you soon!