BT2k9

It’s been a bit since I updated, but I’ve just been busy. I’ll be getting in a full post by Monday or Tuesday. I’m still on the train!

Had a good workout last night, though I really had to push myself to finish up my cardio. I got about halfway through and just wanted to quit, but I didn’t - I finished my whole 30 minutes.

My legs and hip were killing me yesterday and I’m thinking about going back to the doctor for my hip - I’m starting to get tingling in my feet and tingling when I am walking forward on my right leg. I woke up with no pain this morning, though, so that was a nice change from the norm lately.

I have to admit that my diet suffered a bit yesterday - I wasn’t diligent about spacing my meals throughout the day and only ate about 3 total meals, so I want to be careful and not repeat that.

Today I’m gonna finish the last workout from last week, then focus on Callanetics for the next few days with my weights starting up again on Wed. evening.

My legs are definitely sore today, but I was expecting that. What’s really bothering me is my right hip - luckily I have pharmaceuticals on hand.

I was bad and completely borked my schedule by staying up really really late last night (2am). As a result, I didn’t wake up until 1pm. I don’t really have enough time to get to the gym today because my transportation won’t be available in about an hour - that’s just not enough time to get ready, eat my meal and head over. So what I’m gonna do is bump my workouts to tomorrow and get both done in the same day. I may even move one to Monday - since it’s the short week for me, I’ll have plenty of time on Thursday and Friday to get some good workouts in.

Diet’s been good. We went out last night and I had a protein laden mexican dish called steak guisada. (It’s a bit spicy for me, but was very tasty.) Other than that, I did good for the day. I’m about to have breakfast, then I’m gonna keep a close eye on my intake for the rest of the day.

I think tonight I’ll do Callanetics to help out my hip and get some of this soreness taken care of.

Ok, so I ended up resting on Wednesday night because my plans for the evening fell through. I would have gone ahead with my workout but decided to rest up, which turned out to be the right decision.

Wednesday night I had fallen asleep in my recliner (bad, I know) and I woke up around 2 in the morning and my quad on my left leg was in agony. It didn’t feel like a cramp and it didn’t feel tight - I’m not quite sure how to explain it, it just HURT. I could barely get out of the recliner and I went and grabbed an ice pack and that helped a lot. I fell back asleep with the ice on my leg and when I woke up, the pain was gone. I was really worried throughout the day yesterday and I wasn’t even sure if I should do my leg workout that night. I decided to go ahead and go REALLY light on the weights and play it by ear.

Leg night went really well, actually. I did light weights, with very deliberate movement and paid strict attention to form. I actually didn’t end up stretching before the workout, but it wasn’t a detriment and I made sure to stretch between every set. I got to the leg curls for my hams, and they got real tight, so I went ahead and skipped the 2nd set for those and skipped calf raise altogether. I finished up with some preacher curls, did my 30 minutes of cardio and went home.

So it was a good night, and I’m encouraged that my left leg hasn’t bothered me at all since that agonizing wake up. I think I’m gonna start making sure to eat at least a couple of bananas every day to ensure that this isn’t happening due to some deficiency in my diet.

Speaking of diet - it’s going good. I’ve been really diligent about eating my meals at home, but tonight I’m gonna be going out so I’ve gotta be extra careful.

2 more workouts left for this week. This weekend I’m gonna pick up a scale and make sure I start measuring again - how do I know if I’m making progress if I’m not measuring? Next week the workout begins in earnest with 3 sets for 2 weeks in a row. I’m gonna do my utmost to stay motivated and keep the momentum going.

I’m beat.

Tonight was a real struggle. I had to force myself to go to the gym, though the workout itself went pretty well. About halfway through my cardio, my energy seemed to disappear, so the last half was pretty tough. I slogged through, though, and did my full session.

My hips were a bit achey tonight, and the deadlifts destroyed me, as usual. Tomorrow I may have an activity after work, so my workouts may be pushed by a day.

Next workout is legs… that means I must do a full stretch session beforehand.

For now, though, I’m gonna eat my meal and go to bed.

Back from the gym now and feeling great. Got that pump going, did my full cardio session; it was a great night.

Not much else to report, really. Right now I’m eating my last meal of the day and I’m gonna hit the bed real soon after.

Tomorrow is back day.

I’m here again with a renewed sense of purpose and a drive to once again succeed.

Basically, I’ve been swimming in a cloud of depression and haven’t been able to find my way out of it until now. I’ve been dealing with this the best way I can, but haven’t ever really dealt with depression before, so I wasn’t sure how to get out of this awful mood. Quite simply, I just haven’t cared what was going on with me for the past couple of months. I think this mood was brought on through many different factors; I felt overtrained, I was dealing with personal issues, primarily, my aversion to attention.

I’m gonna be honest - I’m a bit fearful of attention. There, I said it. Anytime I see someone looking at me ‘in that way’, I get a feeling of dread in my gut, my blood gets hot, I feel really uncomfortable and I have an almost overwhelming urge to run and hide. I don’t know how to deal with this feeling and it’s something that’s been going on for years. Now as I’ve gotten in better and better shape, I’m getting this kind of attention more and more, and it’s disturbing to me that this keeps happening. I think this is gonna be the most difficult thing for me to deal with and I’m gonna take it day by day.

So, that’s the primary ‘issue’ I’ve been dealing with, on top of everything else. I’m not sure why this is even an issue, but we all have our quirks and idiosyncrasies, and this is mine.

But, I’m ready to get back into the groove, despite my issues and tonight I return to the gym for my first workout since the beginning of September. My focus will be on intensity, not strength, and I’m gonna take it EXTREMELY easy on my legs. My hips, especially my right hip, have been killing me lately. My right hip really hurts right when I wake up and the only thing that keeps it down is my stretching program, Callanetics. So I’m gonna make sure I do that at least 3 times a week.

Diet… diet, diet, diet. No, diet will not be my downfall again. I’ve got my food all stocked up and my carb / protein ratios all set up and I don’t even desire any sweets or bad foods. I got up early enough today to eat my meal at home without buying breakfast and am going to maintain that every day that I can.

My overall goal this time is to decrease my general laziness and quit sacrificing healthy foods for convenient foods. The reason I go out so much is because it’s just easier to go out than cook at home. No more!

So that’s where I’m at right now. I’m digging this blog thing… I sort of feel like this is the only place where I can really be myself and express fully what I’m thinking. I’ll update again tonight when I get home from the gym.