DH rented Michael Clayton and we watched it last night until 11pm (even though I VOWED to be in bed by 9pm!)
After the movie was over, I was complaining to him about how he always keeps me up and it’s hard to stay up late when I get up so early. He told me that it’s just plain "abnormal!" to get up at 5am and I said to him,"SINCE WHEN did you want to be like everyone else??"
Then, I did the normal Steph Stuff:
"Honey, do you want a fat wife or a skinny wife?"
Scott: "A Skinny wife."
Me: "so HELP ME get to bed early so I can GET UP early and be a CUTE, SKINNY WIFE FOR YOU!!!"
Scott: (sheepishly) "OK, I’ll try."
Me: "aren’t you always saying that YOU need to start working out??"
Scott: "Yeah, but 5am is too early!"
Me: "NOT if you get to bed at a decent time and stop renting movies every weeknight!!"
Scott: "I know, you’re right. Maybe someday I’ll start to go to bed and wake up early with you."
Me: (thinking) I used to be like that. "SOMEDAY" I’ll start being consistent. Someday I’ll start eating clean and journaling my food. Someday, I’ll commit 100% to this thing. Someday…
Then, last year it CLICKED. SOMEDAY was never going to come. I HAD to make someday HAPPEN TODAY otherwise, I’ll wake up one day when I’m 72 years old and think,"Why did I wait for someday? Why didn’t I just DO IT and enjoy my body and my health and do the things I want to do while I’m young???
If any of you are like methen you’re guilty of saying no to opportunities and vacations JUST BECAUSE you don’t like how you’re doing to look doing it.
FOR EXAMPLE:
Something in my mind clicked a couple of summers ago when I was on a family vacation with my hubby and all his brothers and everyone was climbing up this cliff and jumping off a ropeswing into the water below. My sister in law did it and my hubby looked at me like, ‘why don’t you go?’ and I thought, "why don’t I???"
I told him that I didn’t feel like it.
The real truth was THAT I felt too fat to stand up in front of everyone and do it. I drove back to our condo and I was steaming mad at myself. That night, everyone went to some hot pots (hot springs) and I said I was tired. Why? I didn’t want to be in my bathing suit in front of all his skinny brothers. They are all fit (one is a personal trainer) and most of them are into bodybuilding and I just felt plain DUMB being all fat in front of them.
Same goes for rock climbing. used to love to do it, but everytime friends asked us to go, I made up an excuse for why I couldn’t. The truth? I didn’t want them to see my fat booty squishing out the harness. It’s so dumb, but it’s the truth! I wanted NOTHING MORE than to climb and be free and have fun and NOT TO WORRY the entire time about what everyone is thinking about MY BUTT!!!!
I WAS ASHAMED OF MY BODY AND it was preventing me from living my life, but most importantly, it was preventing me from being ME.
I’ve ALWAYS been the daredevil in my family. I grew up in a family of all boys and I was always the first one to jump in the water and waterski or cliffjump or whatever it was. Then, I had a couple kids, gained weight, and became…. BORING.
The worst part of it was that I KNOW the daredevil TRY-ANYTHING part of me was part of what my husband fell in love with and I knew I was letting him down. I was also letting myself down.
There’s my rant for the day. Do this to FIND YOURSELF again.
DO IT to live your life again.
DO IT so you’ll stop saying NO to opportunities because you’re afraid of how you’ll LOOK while you’re doing them!!!
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There’s my ranting for the day everyone! I’m sorry, but I just have to type what’s in my head!!! It helps me figure out my life!!!
I woke up at 5am this morning and about DIED I was so tired. I did Shoulders and Arms, and then the new Abs/Core Plus but it wasn’t my best workout ever. I was just wasted!
I am determined to start getting my butt in bed earlier cause my body is just plain NOT GETTING ENOUGH REST and I can’t keep up this program without proper rest!
So, if any of you girls are doing the same thing, let’s add to our challenge GET GOOD SLEEP!!! It’s one of the things I struggle with the most.
For any of you who were posting here last year, I did the X and gave myself NO EXCUSES. I got up at 5am no matter what and I got pneumonia. I swear it was because I was working out so hard and just plain not getting enough rest. I pushed through the tiredness and I needed to focus more on my recovery. So, I’m going to try to not make that same mistake again!!!
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