Life’s journey
When I was 10 I wanted to be a baseball player. When I was 13 I wanted to be a professional bodybuilder. When I was 19 I wanted to be the next Arnold. When I was 21 I wanted to be a biologist. When I was 23 I wanted to be an environmental scientist. When I was 24 I became a husband. When I was 25 I tried being an environmental scientist. When I was 27 I became a graduate student (again). When I was 30 I became a father. When I was 32 tried being a teacher. When I was 34 I started being a conservationist. When I was 38 I thought I wanted to be a writer. When I was 40 I thought I wanted to be a personal trainer. When I was 43 I lost my job being a conservationist. At 43 I became a personal trainer. At 44 I became/thought I wanted to be/tried being…
Certainly, there have been times in my life when I have envied people who knew what they wanted to be when they were like 5-years- old and then became it and are still doing it when they are, oh say, 44. Lord knows I feel sorry for my wife sometimes (okay, most of the time) for being married to such a vocational gypsy. And sometimes I feel like there is something wrong with me for not evolving deep into something. You know, moving up some kind of ladder. Moving into a corner office; into a job with lots of responsibility. Having said that, I can’t imagine how boring it must be to be the same thing for like 20 years. I think I would go insane.
(Perhaps I have real issues. Or maybe one huge issue. An issue that even has a name. Perhaps Oprah or Dr. Phil or maybe Oprah and Dr. Phil have even done shows on my issue. Maybe it’s called “perpetual adolescent syndrome” or “arrested development syndrome” or “failure to grow-up syndrome”)
I guess the one constant in my life, one of the things that I am proud of, is that I have always stayed in pretty good shape. No matter how happy (or unhappy) I was doing what I was getting paid to do, I’m proud of the fact that there were no lost years. And during the most uncertain times in my adult life (of course I wonder if my adult life has begun yet) I have always known that at least I could control what kind of shape I was in. That my fitness is the one of the few things I could control.
So, here I am. A buff-as-hell forty-something that’s still trying to figure out what he wants to be when he grows up. Am I a club of one or am I part of a silent majority?
April 9, 2009 at 5:37 am
You don’t have to listen to this young whipper snapper since I am only 30 and obviously don’t know what the hell I am talking about at my age. :O)……BUT I think it’s awesome that your career doesn’t define you. By choice I spent roughly ten years travelling up and down the eastern seaboard getting 1 year leases in a new city and then when that year was up moving on. With each year I promised myself I wouldn’t work in the same industry to experience new life and excitement. I loved it, and my friends from college who went on to be that thing they thought about since being 5yrs old, are jealous of what I did, and ask about it all the time. just my two cents.
April 9, 2009 at 10:28 am
All I know is….When I grow up I wanna be a Toys’R'Us Kid!!!
Luv your blogs.
April 9, 2009 at 10:36 am
Being almost 40 I have felt the same way time and again. I have actually beaten myself up for it and I am glad to know that I am not the only one going through it. By now I thought I would be a millionaire traveling the country and having the best in life. Like the Cubs, I am waiting for next year!
The other side of it is a story of my dad and uncle. My dad was basically a traveling gypsy going back and forth from Arizona to Illinois. Never worked anywhere that long and did what he wanted.
Then there was my uncle who worked with the same company for 20 years, moved up, had the kids, house, pension, etc, and was the complete opposite of my dad.
My uncle envied my dad, and to an extent I think my dad envied my uncle in certain ways. But, my uncle was waiting for his retirement to "live it up".
Well he never made it to his retirement. He died getting firewood one day. My dad is no longer with us either, but the question is, who lived a more fulfilled life?
Bottom line is that the cliche of the grass always being greener on the other side may hold true. What amazing life stories you have had and shared with us. Keep being a child in search of the next thing that excites you.
We need more of that.
The world needs more of that!
Thanks for sharing Mike.
By the way, I think the term is Peter Pan Syndrome.
April 9, 2009 at 1:09 pm
Awesome comment, mhunter! Gave me chills reading it. May even have been better than my original post! Perphaps my new handle should be Peter Pan!!