BadBoy_4_Life’s BodyBlog

I have an evil growing within me. I call it my Beast. The doctors call it Cluster Headaches.

I have lived with this Beast since I was about 20 years old. Most of the time it lies dormant, deep inside me. But then it awakens…

When that happens, the Beast is unleashed and the evil grows.

My body is taken over by this unholy animal. I am wracked with up to 6 migraines a day, 1 every few hours. I am in constant and excruciating pain and vommiting uncontrollably all day long.

I can’t train, I can’t work, I can’t function. Every noise, every flash of light, every smell becomes a messenger for evil and feeds the Beast constantly, so it’s power can grow. 

When this beast rears it’s ugly head, It then becomes a battle to bring it back under control, and ultimately to exorcise it from my body so it will hibernate again. My allies against this monster: my weapon masters, my battle strategists and my sage advisors. Also known as my doctors. They supply me with the weapons I need to fight the Beast- the various potent medicines, which, like most weapons can be just as dangerous as the Beast itself. Yet these weapons must be weilded anyway, lest the Beast become too strong to eradicate and the evil grow too big to control.

And lo, after around 6 weeks of constantly battling the Beast, it begins to weaken. My weapons start to take their toll on it’s power. Soon the Beast is forced to relinquish control of my body and retreat into the depths of hell from which it was spawned.

The Beast hibernates again, leaving my body drained, my mind dulled, my spirit broken. The battleground, my body, is left a scarred and barren wasteland. A dead husk of it’s former self. A featureless landscape, that must now be built up again to restore it to it’s halcyon days. The days before it was obliterated by the Beast and scorched by the weapons used in the Great Battle that ensued.

I must then start the long journey to normalacy again, letting my body heal and repair so I have the strength to do battle the next time there is a call to arms.

Then the fear rises…

The fear that one day soon the Beast will awaken once again.

And thus the neverending battle rages within me.

side note* I get cluster headaches periodically. They last around 6 weeks then dissapear for some months before returning. Medically, cluster headaches are very rare and still a bit of a mystery. There is no real way to control them.They are the bane of my existence. I am currently about 3 weeks into a cluster.

This entry was posted on Sunday, August 24th, 2008 at 5:00 am and is filed under Training. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.