AzraelBat’s BodyBlog

My 3 month rock hard challenge starts tomorrow. I’m still a little scared, since there’s chance of gaining a little fat or water, since it is basically 2 months of  bulking and then get ripped on the 3rd. The one thing that keeps pushing me is the fact that Christian Bale did the same. After 4 months of starving for the machinist. He spent months training and bulking up for Batman. This is severely close to my situation. Since I’ve spent 6 months dieting strictly to get skinnier, gotten heavily underweight, according to some people. And now since I’m doing Batman at next year’s conventions…I have to bulk up. I have exactly 6 months XD. I’ll be reporting my progress here daily/weekly. I’m going all natural too. I’ll just be using food, and a serving of cytogainer here and there.

My thanks to people such as Christian Bale and Brad Pitt for inspiration. And certain friends of mine who are cheering me on.

Wish me luck everyone.

Next week, I start my rock hard journey. I’m taking the rest of this week off to give my body adequate rest, since the program is pretty merciless. I’ll be supplementing with Plasma Jet, and I’ll also be using Cyto Gainer on off days to keep my calories up. So yeah, it’s time to grow. I hope that this 3 month challenge will bring me the results I desire. Wish me luck.

Taking on Muscle & Fitness’s 3 month Rock Hard challenge. I’m not sure yet. I’m kind of afraid to (Behold my anorexic side speaking) Idk. There’s an inner struggle/conflict between two different sides of me within. There’s the part of me that wants to get ripped and achieve that powerful, strong and toned physique(Such as Batman XD)…and to do that, I know I have to bulk up. Then there’s the other part of me that has become obsessed with losing weight and the fact that I’m getting a caved in stomach, an utter sense of self destruction and wanting to waste away because of severe self loathing. It’s amazing what dating the wrong people will do to you -_-. I want to be like my heroes, Christian Bale and Batman. But I am also terrified of gaining weight…I’m so stuck. It would be a lot easier actually, If I knew someone who would take this challenge with me : /, you know, some moral support. Or simply anyone I can count on to tell me it’s OK and to not let me give up on the challenge once I start getting self conscious. I’m so scared.

Today took every single ounce of courage and will I have to get through. After a week of sleeping excessively and carbing up to break the cycle of dieting and give my body a break…My body looks like crap now. My muscles look "Poofy", my stomach is holding a lot of water and most of my cut is gone. This being utterly depressing…it pretty much affected my whole day. I had to force myself to put up with the depression and work out. And work was unbearable. I could do nothing all day except think of how far I’ve strayed and how much like shit I look like at the moment. Hopefully by tomorrow I’ll look a little better : /. To stop this from ever happening again, I’m going to give Layne Norton’s diet a shot. Moderate carbs/fat, high protein, and every 3-4 days boost carbs by a 100. And not over do it with cardio. I’m hoping with all I’ve got that this will work.

Well, Day two of eating a LOT. Most if not all is clean food, but Jesus. I can’t believe how hard it is. My stomach shrunk so much during dieting that eating for mass has become painful lol. I’ve spent all day sleeping and eating, since I had the day off from work and it’s a rest day as well from Gym. Yeah, there’s no way I’m going past this week. Next week I’m starting dieting up again, my body is already feeling recharged and better, aside from the nausea of fullness.  Tomorrow I’m going to test out Gaspari Nutrition’s Plasma Jet for My Arms workout(Bi’s and Tri’s). I’m trying to not beat myself up for just having pigged out on Chineese food. My stomach feels so cramped it feels like I’m dying -_-. I hate this.

First day of my mini-mass gain phase. Entirely clean diet…But lots of food -_-. My small stomach has suffered, to say the least. I stopped taking Nitrix because I believe It was actually upsetting my stomach(I have NEVER liked any type of creatine) So I returned and exchanged it for a box of Gaspari Nutrition’s Plasma Jet, see how that turns out. Have to say, it does feel good to eat this much again, as unsettling as it may be XD. I was going to go for two weeks, but I think one full week of pure caloric surplus will be enough to shock my body and break the cycle. Idk yet to be honest, we’ll see how this week goes, I might end up doing the two. Regardless, I’ve already figured out what I’m doing for when I get back into dieting. I’m going to use Layne Norton’s routine. Moderate Cardio, Moderate carbs/fats and very high protein. Plus, I’ll make a point to eat more, at least more Protein. I might add DREN into the program after two weeks, not sure.

Well, I’ve come to the conclusion that my body just can’t handle anymore dieting, I’ve been strictly dieting for what seems like forever now. So I’ve decided to change it up for a couple of weeks and start a small mass-gain phase for that time. It will break the cycle and give my body a break, plus, a little more gains in muscle mass can’t hurt. I was thinking of adding a weight gainer even, but I doubt my stomach would be able to handle it XD. So I settled for some Syntha-6 and Nitrix as my main gain-makers. And Oh god yes, a break from all the constant cardio. Once I’m done with this I’ll be fully replenished and can go back to staying lean. PLUS, I am supposed to be Batman at next year’s conventions, megacon and Metrocon. So, It would probably be a good idea to make at least a few gains.

Today was pretty good. The DREN is mind blowing. Not only has it knocked off fat utterly…but it’s mood enhancing effects are astounding, and no negative side effects!. Sooo much better than Atro Phex. Started today on Nitrix too, and already I’m seeing it’s incredible effects. Not only did I get great pumps…But I cranked out one of the BEST work outs I have ever had. I utterly murdered chest/shoulders today. It’s been forever since I’ve trained with such intensity, I could already see striations and definition coming out. Hope the results keep coming.

Decided to make a body space. I considered it a good idea, seeing as I’ll be able to keep a training log, plus have an opportunity to meet and learn a lot from others here. Hopefully that will be the case.

This week was a little rough, screwed up my diet a lot and felt sick constantly from the junk I ate. Felt like giving up a lot of times. Still kind of do. The only thing that’s keeping me going is the fact that Batman wouldn’t give up, ever. No matter how dark things got(Yes, I know, I’m a huge dork). I guess it’s just a matter of pushing through it.

Idk, yesterday was my final dose of Atrophex. I’m going to put a stop to the fat burners, seeing as they may be working against me. I picked up some Nitrix today though, I’m hoping with all I’ve got it will actually tone me and not make me gain useless water weight. I’ve always hated creatine, but supposedly the 4 types used in it do not induce bloating or water weight.

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