I think I am losing the battle…
Something has happened to me…and I don’t like it. I used to go on this site for inspiration and motivation. Now when I log on and look at everyone’s progress, it makes me feel bad. I think to myself, how can all of these people be making great progress and I am not? I am sure part of it is being deployed, my diet suffers, but really it’s more. I joined a group and I look at all of those people who are killin’ it and I am still this old fat guy. Hopefully it is just me having a bad day…I don’t like feeling like this. Part of it is that we just lost some soldiers and let me tell you, that brings your world crashing down around you…it shakes you like I can not explain. I guess you would just have to be in the Army and be over here to understand it. I don’t know, like I said, I am just having a bad day and hopefully that is all this is. I didn’t even go to the gym today…couldn’t bring myself to walk through the door. It seemed so pointless. I will go tomorrow, even if I have to have someone push me throught the door.
Sorry, I just needed to write this out so I could work through it…thank you all for being an inspiration (even if I try to convince myself otherwise).
Until later…Jay
26 June 2009 at 12:40 pm
We all have days when it feels like this…I know I do….and y ou are dealing with your deployment as well….sooooo I jsut wanted to say…keep your chin up and push throught the hard times and stick with it. You’ll be happy you did:) And anytimeyou want to chat shoot me an email:)
26 June 2009 at 12:40 pm
I’m terribly sorry to here about this. That is I’m sure a feeling uncomparable to anything
Sometimes our diet suffers when we go through tragedies like this. It seems pointless to worry so much about your physical look when internally you are worried about so much more. Dont let it depress you. Just take your time to heal whatever is in your mind and then get back on the physical part when you are able to…Because it is worth it..for your health and life..but sometimes it can be overshadowed by otherthings. Good luck and keep in touch (after I’m un-banned that is)
-presidentswife ( not the president)
26 June 2009 at 12:42 pm
Man, first I am sorry for your loss. I never had to deal with it and I can only imagine how much that hurts.
You need reverse motivation…take a look at my bodyspace. I keep kickin but it seems fruitless at times.
Thank you for your service and sacrifice. You guys motivate the crap out of me.
26 June 2009 at 12:43 pm
Just wanted to remind you that for every person on here who’s really killing it, there’s probably 3 or 4 more (myself included) who feel like you do. So from a young fat guy, no worries man, just keep working. The bad days come, and some days you really, genuinely just can’t train, but you make the best of what you can. Best of luck!
26 June 2009 at 12:45 pm
Hang in there Jay. WE ALL have stumbles, plateaus & setbacks. Since you’re 40, perhaps you have the same perspective I do…….this is a LIFETIME endeavor for health & fitness, not just a short-term project to drop some weight. From the long term view, these times a blips. Keep pressing.
And a HUGE THANKS for your service.
4 July 2009 at 7:10 pm
I jsut got a comment from you and just started reading your blogs, this one I HAD to stop and write. There is a lot that I could say but I guess most importantly is that I think that it is great that you are writing….writing, talking, venting helped me understand myself over the past 2 years. I also need to say that I have not made any progress after gaining 20lbs since my divorce…. 2 years now, so there! I go up n down. I lost weight during my seperation period because I thought if I looked better I would be more appreciated, things would work out but we always had that communication break down. After everything settled, moving w/ my two boys, changing jobs and divorce becoming final it hit me, having to start over, it sucks and not having anyone there to support you, push you, talk to etc. I did a lot of soul searching and reading. I will work my ass of w/ cardio and love it. Lift weights religiously, do yoga to calm my mind, keep a clean diet through the day then at night go to comfort w/ chocolate or peanut butter defeating all my hard work. Needing more than just my boys. I knew I had to reconnect with friends but most of them drink, party, smoke, not leading the lifestyle I prefer to or think I am crazy for eating as healthy as I do. So I seclude myself at home, like you said viewing others making progress while my ass has remained the same since I started in here in May. Lately my excuse has been" tomorrow I will start" for 3 weeks now still trying to adjust to my boys being home from school. Staying up too late sleeping in. Something is stopping my from making any progress and cant figure it out. So dont think you are the only one that gets in a slump cuz I have been stuck in a rut and have yet to update any progress pics because you have to be making progress right? I know I have spent hours looking through profiles as my son walks in and says shouldnt you be getting inspired to work out….something is missing in me. I had it before, I did it before, I accomplished it before but , what the hell is the but!? I know we have to go through the bad stuff to get to the good stuff. I have learned so much from my life and know somebody always has it worse. I am always uppbeat, never give up. I have too much to be thankful for. I dont let little things get me down and usually have people ask me why I am smiling/laughing, I am happy but do have a void inside and think that is what is stopping me…ok I am rambling now just needed to write I hope it helps and God bless you! ~Dina