ArmySoldier1’s BodyBlog

   Something has happened to me…and I don’t like it. I used to go on this site for inspiration and motivation. Now when I log on and look at everyone’s progress, it makes me feel bad. I think to myself, how can all of these people be making great progress and I am not? I am sure part of it is being deployed, my diet suffers, but really it’s more. I joined a group and I look at all of those people who are killin’ it and I am still this old fat guy. Hopefully it is just me having a bad day…I don’t like feeling like this. Part of it is that we just lost some soldiers and let me tell you, that brings your world crashing down around you…it shakes you like I can not explain. I guess you would just have to be in the Army and be over here to understand it. I don’t know, like I said, I am just having a bad day and hopefully that is all this is. I didn’t even go to the gym today…couldn’t bring myself to walk through the door. It seemed so pointless. I will go tomorrow, even if I have to have someone push me throught the door.

   Sorry, I just needed to write this out so I could work through it…thank you all for being an inspiration (even if I try to convince myself otherwise).

Until later…Jay

   Well, my motivation is still low, but everyday I force myself to go to the gym and kick my own a$$. I have started doing cardio in the morning and at night…need to shed some disgusting fat. I am trying to prove the doctors wrong, this excess skin will go away without surgery. Eating right over here is still challanging…but I think I have a handle on it. Going on R&R in August, what to get back and have people say…"WOW".

   It is still crazy over here…missions, hot weather, sand storms…yep, Afghanistan still sucks. On a good note, we are getting a larger gym and it is rumored to have a combatives (MMA) mat in it…totally stoked about that! It will help with the constant stress we experience everyday.

   Joined a group today…it is my hope that it they will help push me past this stuff that I am going through. You can never have enough people in your corner! Well, that is all for today…gotta go work out and do cardio.

Until Later…Jay

   Well, my personal life is completely rat f**ked! I am tired of all of the crap and have decided to get a divorce. "I’m sorry" is not needed. I have thought about it, prayed about it and once I decided that I have to do this for my happiness, I am finally at peace. That is not saying that I am "happy"…divorce sucks and no one gets out unaffected. A lot of you have read my earlier posts to know what has happened in the past…well, the lies continue and her inability to not talk to her "boyfriend" has pushed me beyond the point of trying to salvage anything. I can’t pretend that her lies and belief that falling in love with someone while married is NOT cheating. I am doing okay, keeping my head about me…it has killed my motivation (but I am working on that). Enough of this dribble…let’s talk about training.

   As I have stated before, my motivation has suffered, but I am surely trying to correct that issue. I am going to change my workout starting Monday…time to burn fat! I have put on some decent size, now I need to see what is under all of this disgusting fat! I am going to drop the weight and increase the reps, somewhere around the 15-20 range. I will rest only 30 seconds or so in between sets and do cardio twice a day.

   I am going to put in my recruiting packet (and hopefully get picked up). I love the Army and the idea of having a job that I get to talk to people all day about it is just to good to pass up. I might be in the minority, but I look forward to helping the Army put the best possible people in to increase our fighting force.

   Sorry for the ranting…until later…Jay