And my friend doesn’t notice…
…After all my excitement from "strangers" starting to comment on my progress, I figured FRIENDS would be even more observant of the changes, having seen the "before" me in person…So, I have been just waiting to see friends who last saw me before I started weightlifting to see what they have to say about the changes, and I got the chance to meet up with one yesterday who I hadn’t seen since 2004. She was just passing thru town so we met up for lunch and I expected her to say something about how different I look since the last time she saw me…I was even wearing a tank top…not a damn word about it!!!…I’m sitting there thinking, HOW does she not notice, it’s like, if somene went from brunette to blonde in the period of time you last saw them, it’s like someone getting a nose job or something since the last time you saw them, it’s like someone losing 30+lbs since the last time you saw them, it’s like someone having NO muscle to having biceps, triceps, and delts now, how the freek can you not notice?!!…
…She didn’t, and never said a word about it all thru lunch…even after we had "caught up" on all the events of our lives…now I know sometimes people can be jealous of other’s weight loss success, but this friend has never been a member of a gym, is about 45+lbs overweight, and hasn’t ever been concerned with "dieting" that I know of…so she really doesn’t strike me as that type…anyways, it was a little disappointing…I’m not sayin I need to be showered with compliments, but part of the fun of working so hard to change is the comments you get when people notice, and you’d think the biggest "noticers" and supporters would be YOUR OWN FRIENDS…I guess not
…*sigh* this just makes me even more grateful for the comments I get from strangers and the support I get from this site…so THank You 
July 31, 2009 at 2:32 pm
I agree about friends being the last to mention the weight loss. Part of it can be jealousy, but a huge part of it is admitting to someone they have lost weight could mean facing their own demons about their own weight problems. The only friends of mine who notice my gains are the ones who have a gym membership!!
July 31, 2009 at 2:33 pm
You just answered your own question. "…..but this friend has never been a member of a gym, is about 45+lbs overweight, and hasn’t ever been concerned with "dieting" that I know of….". She was definitely uncomfortable with your transformation. If she was in good shape herself, she wouldn’t be intimidated or jealous, and would surely have commented.
Don’t sweat it. Just keep charging.
July 31, 2009 at 2:36 pm
interesting…I was thinking she’d be the LEAST put off by it since she seems comfortable with how she is, never mentioning "dieting" or complaining about her weight the entire time I’ve known her..
July 31, 2009 at 2:37 pm
ehh she just was jealous…it’s quite common, even my friends sometime don’t even notice and I’ve come a long way in the past few years. it’s alright.
July 31, 2009 at 2:43 pm
Ya, I agree with Al, when you make changes in your life you can become a mirror to your friends especially. They start to think to themselves that look at him or her, they are doing so well! He or she is obviously doing something good, and if i ask perhaps they are going to call me out and say I need to do so also. Or I need to be doing this but, I really am comfortable with where I am now.
So i’ll just make like everything is normal and there was no change. Because change means that I may have to change also. If that make any sense at all. LOL!!!
July 31, 2009 at 2:49 pm
Yeah, she probably saw you and in her mind said, ‘Wow! She looks great..geez what has she been doing, I shouldn’t ask cuz I’m jealous, she probably gets compliments all the time. I wish I looked like her..sigh" Thats what I think lol.
July 31, 2009 at 2:51 pm
yeah it makes sense, guess she wants that baconator burger with cheese and fried onion straws on it that she ate much more than she wants to be healthy!
July 31, 2009 at 2:55 pm
I doubt very much she’s comfortable with being 45 lbs overweight. I don’t think anyone who is significantly overweight is. They may not discuss it; or, they may act like they’re content with being overweight, but no way she’s content with it. She’s just not at the point where she’s ready & willing to do whatever it takes to make a change. Like Jeremy said…..you were a mirror that she didn’t want to face up to.
July 31, 2009 at 3:24 pm
Living that right now.
NONE of my friends want to even address the fact that I have done what I’ve done to change my life in the last six months.
Think about it from their side of things. What would be more uncomfortable and make them feel worse than sitting across a table from you and looking at how much you’ve changed? Admitting it to you and conversely themselves. For them, nothing sucks worse than being left behind.
You have to be happy with you and everyone else is on their own. If they have the stones to give you a pat on the back, great. If not, do it yourself.
Good job.
July 31, 2009 at 3:41 pm
See but this is how I’d think: Look at my friend, sitting right here in front of me as an EXAMPLE of what can happen if you work at it like they did, I’d be INSPIRED if I was them, thinking, wow, if they can do it, I can too!…it would light a FIRE under my ass to get moving, but I guess that’s because I have some competitive-ness in me…
why is that so opposite of what most people think??..is everyone THAT negative??
July 31, 2009 at 3:52 pm
I would suspect that maybe she feels her shortcomings are being magnified against your accomplishments.
I’m like you in that I would be inspired by someone who made positive changes in their life and would grill them on everything they did to get where they are, but there are people who would rather ignore someone else’s accomplishments maybe because they’re embarrassed about themselves.
Sometimes the embarrassment outweighs inspiration.
August 2, 2009 at 3:29 pm
One other possibility:
Perhaps she is totally self absorbed and simply did not notice!
August 2, 2009 at 3:39 pm
I have noticed this too. Being in college and living in the dorms, you develop very good friendships with the ones around you. And as I made progress in the gym, i noticed strangers would comment on my physique much more and more frequently than any friend of roommate. It has never bothered me, and in fact i like it more from strangers because you know they feel no obligation to make you feel good, they do it because what they say is true!