The teacher told Pepito to use the word cheese in a sentence.

1.Pepito replies: ‘Maria likes me, pero Cheese fat.’.

2. Mushroom

‘ When all my family get in the car, there’s not mushroom.’

3. Shoulder

‘My Tia wanted 2 become a citizen but she didn’t know how to read so I shoulder.’

4. TEXAS

‘My girl always Texas me when I’m not home wondering where I’m at! ‘

5. Herpes

‘ Me and my girl ordered pizza. I got mine piece and she got herpes.’

6. July

‘Ju told me ju were going to tha store and July to me! Julyer!’

7.Rectum

‘I had 2 cars pero my wife rectum!’

8. Juarez

‘One day my abuelita slapped me and I said juarez your problem?’

9.Chicken

‘I was going to go to the store with my wife pero chicken go herself.’

10.Wheelchair

‘We only have one empanada left but don’t worry wheelchair ‘

11.Chicken wing

‘My wife plays the lottery so chicken wing’

12. Harassment

‘My wife caught me in bed with another women and I told her honey harassment nothing to me.’

13. Bishop

‘My wife fell down the stair so I had to pick the bishop’

14. Body wash

‘I want to go to the club but no body wash my kids ‘

My trainer is a tough one. My hour and a half workout was a TORTURE!! And still I never felt so satisfied for a long time, workout wise of course.

So I did the next.
Seated Leg Extensions
Lunges
Seated Leg Curls
Lying Leg Curls
Standing Calves
 All 4 sets, 20-30 reps, very light weight to no weights at all. I didn’t have to like extend my leg all the way. For example, during leg extensions I didn’t have to flex it on top but keep it half way, so I could keep the tension on my quads. PAIN, PAIN!!!!!! I have trunk like legs, very massive and thick. To compete in Figure competitions I need to have long, lean legs. I add mass very quickly so I have to make a lot of repetitions. I gained 3 lbs. of muscle not a good thing for me. So no more squats for me. YAY! I hated doing the lunges the most. My butt hurts in its CORE!!
My trainer is very good, at least I hope he is. I heard a lot of good things about him. I hope he’s a magician cause I need a miracle to get to where I want to be. I was kind of bumped yesterday cause I felt like I wasted all this time for nothing. Of course it’s not all wasted but I know that if I done this sooner I would already be competition ready. Oh well, better late than never.

I have to travel 1 hr- 1.5 hrs by train to get to her. (I don’t have a car) She’s in the Hague and I’m in Rotterdam. And that isn’t a problem cause I only go once every 4- 5 weeks. But she wanted me to have someone that could workout with me. So she suggested for me to come at least once a week to The Hague to workout with them. It was very nice of her, but it’s too much for me. Cardio @ 4.30 am then go to work which is already an hr from home. and then after that go to the Hague for another hour or more. and I still have to go home after that and cook my 100 meals for the next day. ay ay ay, and not to mention my husband! I’ll end up divorced by the end of the year.

But then it hit me. There was a trainer just next to my job. So I asked her if she knew him. Apparently he’s one of the best trainers out there and they work a lot together. No need to say more, so I went to him after I left my coach. He’s so friendly and knows a lot. He immediately told me he trains every one the same, it doesn’t matter if you’re a man or a woman. He’s very stricked and he’ll demand nothing but 100% from me. He’s going to be tough and will expect a lot from me.

I’m so excited you guys!! I’m starting today right after work. I have a huge bag with me, with all my meals for the day and my workout gear. hahaha. HUGE BAG, not kidding!

I also started atletics last saturday. We only worked on our shape. I have to say I was ashamed since a girl twice my size was in better shape then I was. I was gasping for air after 5 minutes and she looked like she could go on for hours!!! hahaha I’ll work on that!

But I can’t help feeling like I’ve wasted so much time, training on my own. By now I should’ve made more progress dnd I still look soft. I’m really trying not to get depressed now. I’m trying to forget the fact that I have to start all over again. At least I have a good basis now. I just hope it’s going to work this time. 

1. Grunt

I do not only grunt at times but curse like a sailor too when I’m really into it. I always have my mp3 player with me so when I’m “in the zone” and forget about all the people around me. Soooo embarrassing! I usually don’t like swearing in front of other people. I find it a bit tacky.

2. Wear my comfy gym clothes everywhere

Why not, you ask? Well there’s always a time and a place to wear some types of clothes. I have party clothes which I never get to wear anymore because I simply don’t have much of a social life lately. Working clothes and GYM clothes. I used to wear my gym gear to go to the grocery store but then I met people from the Gym and they kept asking me if I just left the gym.

3. Flirt with the instructor (or any cute guy in the gym)

I’m MARRIED!!! I have no business flirting with the instructor or any cute guy in the gym. But it’s so much fun. Besides I’m not doing anything wrong, am I?????

4.Wear too tight/ skimpy clothes

Oh well, who was I kidding when I said that. I’m working my butt off and finally getting the body I always wanted. I’m not going to cover myself up!!! Except at work of course.

5. Walk like I’m carrying one pineapple under each armpit

I see guys walking like that and I’m like: Ok dude you’re big, but do you really have to walk like that? Relax your arms. But when I’ve just worked out my back and LATS!!!! I’m as stiff as a board and I walk like I just swallowed a broom stick and one pineapple under each armpit! I’m not even going to tell you how I walk after a leg workout day. Reminds me the day we had the dog neutered. Not a pretty sight let me tell you…

I have to say I pretty much failed every single one. Hehehe Does that mean that I’m a true bodybuilder? hahahhahaha ahve a nice one guys!

I’ve been working out for almost 3 years now. I’ve lost 18 lbs so far. And it’s not nearly enough. I bust my a$$ 5 times a week, I eat healthy (or as healthy as possible), I take my vitamins and supps like a good girl, but it’s still not good enough.

I see girls on here that started the same period as I did and they look AMAZING. Some even had 3-4 kids and managed to lose the weight that was worse than mine WITHIN A YEAR!!!!  

I’m every freakin day in the gym working myself to the bone for what? For mediocre results? Don’t get me wrong I DO admire those girls on here. They are doing great and should keep it up. I keep telling myself, oh they must be on something…(I can be a hating bitch sometimes ), or… They have a complete different body type. And living in holland where every one seems to be at least 6" tall and a size 2, doesn’t motivate me at all.

Not to mention WEIGHT!! I feel like a HIPPO at 138 lb. One of my best friends just told me a few days ago that she’s at 121 lbs. And yes, she’s almost 6" tall. Not really… she’s more like 5"8′. Ok she has a little flabby stomach and squishy body, but that’s not the point. SHE’S 121 LBS!!! I can’t remember when is the last time I weighted that much. Oh yes I do…. I was 13.

Anyway. I’m doing morning cardio at 4.30 am, 6 times a week, so maybe I’m just sleep-deprived and cranky.

I have a weigh in next week at my coach and we’ll see if I made any progress.

Take care!

But then I used the test to see if I have a sagging butt, I failed miserably. It’s not that I have a flabby droopy butt; it’s quite firm actually. It’s just that it is such a big, round and protruding butt! I’m sure I have at least 10 lbs on one cheek alone. LOL
The more squats, lunges and step-ups I do the more round and bulgy it gets. I’m working on that nice NO gluteal fold figure women have.  ARGHHHH!
More squats! More squats!!

factor 1: Height I’m 5’3” and most girls are 5’6”. European girls are taller and leaner. I’m half Caribbean, half Latina. I have the typical bootylicious body and trunk like legs on top of that.  So it’s more difficult for me to get my legs shaped and leaned out. I’m working on that tight-no-gluteal-fold and it’s very difficult, almost impossible to get.

factor 2: body fat I do have celulite and a lot of it. I’m not ashamed for  having them but I’m not happy either. I’ve read once that  only 6% all female don’t have cellulite and I seriously believe that 5% live here in holland and they are ALL competing in bodybuilding. It’s frustrating. I know it can be helped with proper nutrition and working out a lot, but you’ll never get rid of it entirely. That SUCK!

factor 3: Musclarity  These girls have sports background. The ones that always win, come from athletics, running, judo and gymnastics. I used to practice tae kwondo but that was ages ago and the only thing that I kept out of it is the discipline/ love for sports and I won’t whine if it hurts. I lost my flexibility, my six-pack (I had one at 16 years old and big arms. My sister used to call me Popeye!) and my overall muscularity.

Even knowing all this I’m still going to compete and I know I have a lot of work to do. You would think; oh it’s 8 months away, there is enough time. But time flies!       

I eat a lot of fibrous vegetables and whole grain carbs. Even drinking a lot of water seems to improve bowel movement. For someone that used to do a #2, once every 7-10 days, it’s very tiring to have to go efter nearly every meal.

Anyway, I thought I’d share this with you guys. Afterall… what are friends for. If you can’t talk about your bowel movements with your friends, what then? ;)