AndyaknowV’s BodyBlog

Feeling great today!!! I weighed in and I am under my current goal of 200 pounds….only by 0.2 pounds but hey at least I am under. I can hardly remember being 215 and that was only 4 months ago. So basically I have lost about 4 pounds a month. My ankle is still a little sore sometimes but overall it is good. I have had quite a bit of excitement over the past few days. Went bowling with my coworkers and that was fun….I got the nickname "Strong arm"….lol I did the best on my team…I bowled better than a 100 and that was the highest on my team…..lol!!!! I think the highest out of all 25 of us was 138…..I am not sure but I know that no one got up to 150. I am going to take the children bowling…that was cool. I was also introduced to a different type of party. I am not going to deep into that but it is one of those things that you really have to think about going to. LOL!!! That is wild….I might go though because I might enjoy myself. I plan on just chilling today and relaxing with the children. I am getting a new tatt on friday so be on the lookout for those new pics. I am also going to try and add some new pics today since I have lost more weight!

I am a little tired so Imma holla later… MUAH!!!!

V

Well the weekend is over and it was pretty restful. Did some kettlebell exercises and some rope jumping and overall I cannot complain about the weekend. I am loving the working out and …..other aspects of my life: kids, job, school etc. But I feel like something is missing. I am not sure what it is and laying alone at night makes me think it is a man but then my freedoms make me think otherwise. I just feel as if I need someone to talk to. I used to have a very good bestfriend but then I ruined that by allowing a relationship to develop

 :-(

I think that a lot of my personal insecurities come from the fact that I am the one judging myself and I am wayyyy to harsh. I wish that I had my mom to talk to sometimes.

Sometimes it seems like u can have everything u have ever asked for and if u have no one to impress/make proud/share with then u have nothing at all. I am losing weight and getting stronger, faster, healthier everyday and I guess today is one of those days that it is bittersweet.

I was just thinking earlier today about my  2008 goals : getting my masters, matriculating into medical school, losing the fat and feeling confident enough to compete in a fitness competition next year….and then I think so what….who cares….other than me!!!   if I do those things…..Y not put it off until next year….Y do it at all. I remember how badly I want it everyday and all the things I am willing to sacrifice to attain my goals but then I question if those same things are willing to be sacrificed knowing that I am going it alone. I mean I was born alone and I will probably die alone (right?)but isnt the ultimate goal in life to live….live in harmony,,,,with thyself as well as others because technically I was born from someone….so not necessarily alone…..I mean I wasnt there by myself….lol! Who came up with that saying….because that is just dumb! U cant be born alone if u are born from someone…..even testtube babies are created from someone….but I guess that are not born so they dont count….ANYWAY!!!!!

Well, enough of that! I dont really feel any better nor any worse….

Tomorrow is a brand new day and I refuse to be alone amongst millions. I will be all that I am and know in my heart that there is someone who does care about that…dead (RIP mama!) or alive (Scooty booty).

V

Today is the second day that I am focusing on myself. I bought a kettlebell and believe me that exercise kicks @$$!!!! Whoo!! I also got a jumprope and that was fun to do as well as strenuous!!!! I am taking the stimerex for the first time today and I can feel the blood already starting to rush through my veins…..I believe the rush is coming…..lol. I feel pretty good from yesterday. The children were not misbehaving really and overall it was a pretty positive day,,,,other than the amount of money that I spent on random stuff. One other good thing that happened was that my son got a new barber…YEAH and this man actually did a good job! KK did not try and jump off of the chair or anything. Next time I think I am going to ask him to fade it instead of just a regular low cut. I need to pay more attention to the names of hairstyles for the boys because I was really confused when we got there and they asked me what I wanted done….lol. I feel like I need to get up from this computer and run around a bit so I will try and hit this update up later on today….OOOHHHHH I am feeling good right now! Today I worked out sooo hard, I used the sauna pants and I was soooo sweaty!!!!! I felt/feel so great!!!! Whooo!!!! I havent really been outside today but I will try to later because it is sooo warm. I am going to look up on utube and some other sites to find more information about kettlebells. I think that one thing I really like about that workout is that we do the same thing in several different variations. That really makes me feel like I am doing something…lol I am doing that kettlebell thing again tomorrow, I think alternating days will help me not get bored with it and quit. Its time for lunch and I am feeling great so I need to off of the computer anyway……Hope everyone is having a wonderful day…….because I am!!!!

WHOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOO

V

I am going to do a liquid diet for a few days to try and refresh myself and hopefully spend some time thinking clearly about my goals and behaviors in attaining my goals. I went through some stuff this week and it made me realize that I need to focus more on what matters and take more pride in the things that I do because I am in a position now that most people cannot do what I do…..and do it as effectively!!!! I have unintentionally allowed others to tell me that I am not doing what I should or that somehow they could do it better and I actually believed it and felt some way over the past few days that wasnt condusive with the pace of my life. I am going to try and spend more time writing down my feeling because instead of me analyzing this behavior early in the week I allowed it to linger throughout the entire week and now I feel like time has been wasted because of that. I am an emotional person and I cant let go of things so easily but not that I have analyzed it and written it now it feels a little bit easier to let go. Throughout this weekend and maybe into next week as well my family is not watching television and I am taking a break from whole food. We need to simplify and purify to find the positives that we tend to overlook or neglect. Another thing that happened,  I accidently let my navel ring close   Now I feel naked without my belly jewelry Well, I am going to also take some pics throughout my week and keep kind of a video journal/diary/blog….I am feeling so much better already!!!!

V

Even though, I havent made my weight loss goal for 4.01.08 I am still very happy about about my current before and after pictures. My first picture is horrible. My skin fell down and it was soooo gross and horrible looking but at least the after picture looks as if its getting so much better. I feel kind of weird that the pictures are actually posted to the website but I feel that if I can inspire myself by being honest with everyone that has the opportunity to view my page than I am staying motivated…..because the pics are horrible and  I am basically putting myself on blast to get my attention. I am sooo happy there are visible results. I mean the clothes are looser but they are not falling off!!! Those pics are like justification that I am doing the right thing. I just cant believe that I let it go that far!!! I cannot believe that I actually looked that way and I guess that I knew it all along because I had been trying to hard to hide it from people and suck in it with certain outfilts. Recently I have bought a new outfit and that has not been done in a long time because I have been squeezing into my old clothes…..not my old clothes fit and my new clothes are a little more flashy… lol ) I am loving the motivation that I get from this site and I am so proud of everyone who is against being the statistic of obesity in the US.

Yeah!!!!! V