Anabolic Adam's BodyBlog

The Creator

Anabolic Adam — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 04:56:01 +0000

I am the man responsible for who I am. When I look in the mirror each day, I stare my creator in the eyes. I am responsible for what I have and will become, I am accountable for what I will or will not accomplish. I believe in myself, I bow to no man and my only critic of any consequence has walked every mile of this journey in my size thirteens. I am not God nor am I a god, but I am the architect of my own destiny. I am not so elitist an intellectual as to sneer at the concept of a higher being–a greater power at the helm of all that exists. I don’t turn my nose up at those of devotion, for I feel faith and reason can walk hand in hand. I am spiritual, I am religious, but my own relationship with a higher power is a personal matter, as is yours. My belief in such a deity is of great import, however, for it keeps my ego in check. I believe that there is, in fact, a force in the universe that put this entire process into motion… That set this tilted blue orb spinning upon its axis. Resting assured in this knowledge keeps me humble. I need to know that there is something out there greater and more powerful than me, something out there that can create and dominate and exercise will and control beyond my human capacities. Nonetheless, I live each day feeling that I have barely scratched the surface of what is my potential and I refuse to ever concede that I can be bound or limited by anything less consequential than my own earthly demise. In a world wrought with critics and cynics hurtling doubt and detraction from all sides, this belief allows me to stand my ground and stay the course, steadfast and resolute. I once heard the saying, “if one does as God does often enough, eventually one will be as God is”. Some would call that blasphemy… To me, it feels like something worth striving for-a goal worthy of my aspirations. If one constantly holds himself to the highest of standards, if one conducts himself in accordance with the behavior of his best possible self, the only possible result is a life uncommon, a life inspired, a life divine. To use a very mundane and terrestrial illustration, I recall wondering in my youth why the kids who sat the bench from D.C. and Baltimore, from Jersey City and Philly were better ballers than the thousand point scorers from the burbs. Upon closer examination, the answer was obvious… They were better because they competed against the best and in the end, you can only be as good as the level of your competition. From that day forward, I realized I could never compare myself to those in common quarters, those whom I rubbed elbows with on the regular. Since then, my competition, those that I felt I needed to best, those that I had to measure up to, were only the elite in my chosen vocations, even if such showdowns would only occur in my head. That is the new, exalted standard of which I speak. Compare yourself to the best and you’ll be better than most. Believe that. Never settle for your neighbor’s “good enough”… My Pops taught me that. My parents, I owe them all that I have, all that I am, all that I will ever be… It is in their honor that I strive and struggle and thirst for more. Were I ever to reach any noteworthy modicum of greatness, it would be in no small part due to the countless sacrifices that they made on my behalf. They gave me a chance, they provided me the raw material to work with. But at the end of the day, like everybody else, I was on my mother****in’ own-just like today, just like right now. Without your own will, your own focus and ambition, your own back-breaking, burn-the-midnight-oil hard work you’ll be nothing; regardless of who raised you or who supported you along the way. Despite the shrewdest guidance of parents and professors, the ageless wisdom of coaches and gurus, the creator must eventually stand alone, toeing the perilous line between timeless majesty and utter inconsequence. The creator must be the great decider. I remember an old friend intimating to me that he envied my approach to life, saying, “You just choose what you want to be and that is what you are.” Well, in all honesty, it ain’t quite that ****ing cut and dry, but I know of what he speaks. That is, in fact, the first step–the most important leap of faith in your “becoming”. Following your gut and your instincts and moving boldly in pursuit of that which you are compelled. As Thoreau once so wisely advised “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you’ve imagined.” Decide what you are to be, what you must do, where your journey must lead and move decisively on that route. The creator must be the artist… The auteur… The craftsman. The creator must take the common elements–lumpy, unformed bulk matter and give it order and form. He must pursue his own very personal vision and make something new where there once was nothingness… To create the prized and priceless from what was once only abstract concept and vast, empty expanse. The creator must conceive and execute and follow through, cultivating that which is fertile and fruit-bearing often from the most sparse and desolate soil-making his own garden oasis in the most barren badlands of life’s treacherous landscape. “You are your maker” was what my boy House so succinctly declared and I could never have said it better myself. We build ourselves from the ground up one day at a time, one decision at a time. Moment by moment we create ourselves, in our own idealized image, in the shape and silhouette of the celestial… As creators this is our life mission, our solitary charge. To truly be iconic, one must keep pace with icons. To be godlike, one must keep company with the gods.

The man in the glass

Anabolic Adam — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 06:27:22 +0000

When you get what you want in your struggles for self

And the world makes you king for a day,

Just go to a mirror and look at yourself

And see what that man has to say.

For it isn’t your father or mother or wife

Whose judgment upon you must pass,

The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life

Is the one staring back from the glass.

Some people might think you’re a straight-shooting chum

And call you a wonderful guy.

But the man in the glass says you’re only a bum

If you can’t look him straight in the eye.

He’s the fellow to please, never mind all the rest

For he’s with you clear to the end

And you’ve passed your most dangerous test

If the guy in the glass is your friend.

You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years

And get pats on the back as you pass

But your final reward will be heartache and tears

If you’ve cheated the man in the glass.

Comes The Executioner, Part 2

Anabolic Adam — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 09:30:39 +0000

… Notwithstanding the power of all these five dollar words, I can readily assure you that words will be of little comfort to you at 5:30 am, when the snow is knee high and you are the only swinging dick in the weight room. However, if you happen to remember a single word when you’re alone in the dark or on leg day when you’re on your knees in front of the ****ing toilet, in the name of all that you hold sacred in this world, remember the word EXECUTION. It will serve you far better than any romantic notion you may harbor about what is necessary to achieve something in this hard, cold world.

Modern, socio-cultural, pop-psychology enthusiasts would have you believe that all you need to do to achieve something in this world is to want it bad enough… I say nonsense. I am here to tell all the kiddies that Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and the impossible dream just ain’t enough to get you that brass ring; that’s just not the way life works. It takes more than a dollar and a dream to make something of yourself, but then, that’s the beauty of it.

Not everyone will endure the rigorous challenges that stand between you and that which you seek to possess. Not everyone can see it through to the end, using their basic animal instincts, a burning desire to become something and most importantly, a conceptual understanding of the word execution. Execution can be the difference maker that stands between what you are and what you could become. It is the word that stands between emerging victoriously and retreating ingloriously. A champion executes a well conceived plan of attack, he never wavers from that plan and he doesn’t panic when the pain sets in.

Comes The Executioner

Anabolic Adam — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 09:29:58 +0000

Freud believed that the id (the part of the unconscious mind responsible for pure pleasure seeking) is what drives most of our external actions. Irrespective of your sensitivity to the inner workings of your mind, you are driven to covet the things that you desire most. This complex mental process has been written about and puzzled over for decades, but at its core, it is the supreme element of human truth. Perhaps at your core you desire the warmth of blood rushing to your well developed muscles. Maybe you have become enraptured by the images lodged deep within your unconscious mind, images of heavily muscled warriors, straining to move heavy objects. The problem begins on the battle ground. The battle rages between the forces within your mind and the reality is brought to bear when you are trying to achieve this mental vision. In short, it ain’t that easy to get those muscles… Is it?

Every one of us is susceptible to the waking visions that project our deepest desires across our imaginations, but the pick and shovel work, the ugly part of it, is far less coveted. Contrary to popular opinion, desire, in and of itself, is not the key ingredient necessary to achieve pre-eminence. While desire might be likened to the high octane fuel that drives the machine, or the vehicle, it is execution that forges champions, winners and survivors. While desire is critical to your success, and vital to your survival, execution is that all important element that is absolutely necessary to obtain whatever it is that you want in life. For example, take two professional football teams that are each filled with elite talent that has made the necessary sacrifices to achieve victory. Each man on the field is filled with a burning desire to win, but only one team can prevail. The team with the ability to execute the given plays and carry out the plan of attack is the team that will walk away victorious.

My point here is not complex. Any man can wave a flag and any person can rave about something they want, but to actually achieve these great heights, to truly own the images we hold so dear in our hearts and in our minds takes something more than daydreaming and empty rhetoric. The word, my friends, is execution. I will grant you the word execution is not as sexy as some of the other buzzwords that are so often associated with success and victory. We always hear words like determination, perseverance, courage, fortitude, and of course the sexiest one of them all, desire. I submit to you now that desire without execution is like a sword with no blade, a gun with no bullets, or a bird without wings. Furthermore, the result of missing or failed execution will produce a man without achievements…

War & Peace

Anabolic Adam — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 09:28:29 +0000

Even when we are at peace, we are at war. The essence of competition lies in our own ability to challenge ourselves and rise to a level of increased stress. To function under stress or strain, to wage war in any sense of the word, is necessary for one to achieve their potential. When times of low energy or diminishing interest arise, smash your mind back into the groove. Only when I am in the midst of pounding reps with weight do I feel myself slipping into total focus. Every set and rep becomes like passing a knife across a sharpening stone, until my blade is razor sharp. I look forward to that feeling in every session; you can feel yourself crushing the barriers in your way. Tap in to the power, but you need have gas money if you’re going to ride. Nothing for nothing. The choice is yours. Take the steps to prepare for war, even at times of peace. When I step outside to go to the gym, the sky is blue. The sun is out and people are happy. For me, the sky is black. It’s raining blood. I see bullets and bombs all around me. There is no shelter here. There will be no shelter until my destiny is fulfilled. I go to the weight room and throw steel. Strength and honor.

Ten Things

Anabolic Adam — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 09:28:03 +0000

Sessions of absolute torture? Brothers, they are an irreplaceable rung in the ladder. Here are some things that have helped me in pursuit of my goals and helped me stay in line when I wanted to slip into madness. This is what you must do before you can use all these fancy ass routines you read about every month. This is exactly how I got through those days, nights, weekends, holidays, injuries, and beautiful glorious agony. Stay focused and don’t quit before it all unfolds.

1. Believe in one person: Yourself. Everything flows from that pool.
2. Don’t be afraid of pain. It will teach you.
3. Define your surroundings; don’t let them define you.
4. Don’t be a ****ing pussy. Life hurts. So does loneliness, and so does change. But they are all necessary to your growth.
5. Don’t add extra fat to your diet for calories.
6. Make things happen. Don’t wait for them.
7. Lift for gains, not glory. Control your ego and the weight.
8. Don’t count protein grams from nuts or grains.
9. Quitting is a habit, as is winning and losing. The second two happen to everyone. The first one should never happen to anyone.
10. Lead by example. Never become someone you aren’t proud of.

Full Circle

Anabolic Adam — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 09:27:33 +0000

There is a giant circle that we are all traveling through. The circle is huge. It is too vast to even measure. As we walk along, we are faced with adversity. We are also rewarded with accomplishments and glory. At times, it seems the circle will never bend. We will never make a turn to bring us closer to the truth. It is in those times that we are twisted and bent, sometimes beyond our limitations… Many of us are broken. Many of us fall down. Some don’t get up. I have been bent and twisted. I am covered with scars from falling down… I get tired from the journey. I grow frustrated by the walls that pop up in front of me. We are the same, molded from the fires of generations of people who continued to have hope… People who always got up when they fell… People who saw things through. They never lost faith in who they were. The circle is unbroken. The changes, the challenges, the waiting, the wanting, the defeat and the glory are all part of the circle that is our life. The dream I have is that some day, maybe I will come full circle. Maybe I will arrive at what I’m destined for. If I am that lucky, and I pray I am, then it will have been worth every step along the way. I hope the same for you and although you must have blind faith, I think the path is more clear than it seems. So push on and do the things you must so that you can fulfill your dreams. I will do the same.

Dirt

Anabolic Adam — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 09:27:04 +0000

Shotguns make big holes, teachers forget what it’s like to learn, and the subway always smells like piss. Life is full of certain truths that are non-negotiable. Now we step inside the arena. I sketch broad strokes… When I speak about my passion for steel, my mind jumps around like a bum on fire. Hard edged? I guess so. Nice guy? I never said I was. What about you? You got eyes on you too. Can you shrug them haters off you? Can you go in any direction—North, South, East and West—and still remember you are a member of the most brutal species this world has seen? Can they defeat you? Can they beat you? There is a difference between the two, you know. I feel the eyes on me. I smell the fear on these bitches. Some talk hard, but when it’s time to get it poppin’ they’re ghost. No matter what happens we walk hard. **** that… WE STOMP. We slap faces that have traces of smart ass. We walk together, an ARMY of soldiers. In the game to rip off the top half and let them know that the law of the jungle is the only code that matters. We eat dirt so the rest of the world knows that they don’t own hate…

Anger

Anabolic Adam — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 09:26:32 +0000

Anger, in all its forms and nuances, is the best motivating emotion there is. Success is scarcely found without ties to this potent agitator lurking somewhere down deep. A kid looks in a store window, he sees a shiny new red bike, then he feels the holes in his pockets… The fire is lit. From that primal emotional reaction, the child realizes that want and anger are directly linked to each other. Now, I know we live in a so called "enlightened" society and I certainly don’t want to discourage any zen aficionados out there. But I say, why fight it? Is the kid supposed to be thankful he doesn’t have a pot to piss in? Or should he remember that feeling every time he feels far away from something he wants?

Every time I feel too far away from my destination, every time my vision is blurred, I become that kid again. I become angry at myself. I become angry
at everyone around me. I feel the sense of urgency rush back over me. I know that there is a mean streak a mile wide across my back and I am thankful
for my anger. Lurking beneath every loss, every tear, every broken dream is anger. We, as a people, are about as far from a utopian society as we have ever been in my way of thinking, so **** it, ride the wave.

A real warrior doesn’t lament what he has lost. He becomes angry. He goes on the warpath. He goes looking for a fight. I find a hundred reasons every day
to be thankful and that is correct. I can find one reason a day to be angry and that is when I step in the gym. I see that shiny new bike in the store window and I’m mad cause I don’t have it yet. I won’t lament mistakes or catalogue regrets, but I will get on the warpath and go looking for a fight. To be brutally honest, I stay angry pretty much all the time and I have found no greater motivator than anger. I’m sure there is someone somewhere whistling zippidy-doo-da, it’s just not my way.

I train upset. I stay upset. People ask me how much is enough. I tell them, I’ll let you know when I get there. They ask does it ever get any easier. I tell them, I hope not. Who wants easy? What is worth having that comes cheap? I would rather write the book of my life in my own blood and be able to say I paid for that shit in full. It is ironic.

There are things all around me… here are people all around me. There are people all around me who can give me all the things around me, but no one can give me what I want. I have to pound it out myself. I have to take what I need for me–no one else. For what the people around me do give me, I am thankful. The space to run into brick walls and the right to be angry, it’s all I know. This is probably the place where I should say I’m sorry for being a first class mother****er. I’m not ready to yet and I wouldn’t hold my breath waiting if I were you. Like I said, no apologies. I paid for this shit in full.

So if you still think it’s wrong to be angry, ask yourself if it’s wrong to be sorry as well. The way I see it, I would rather be angry than sorry–at least you can build on anger. And don’t tell me you don’t get mad when you’re half way through your third nasty dry chicken breast and you wish you could swallow it whole. You may as well use that anger in a positive way, right? And don’t tell me you don’t look around the gym and while your covered head to toe and still looking respectable, you see some ******* in a yellow tank top talking to the soccer moms who, incidentally, are only there cuz hubby doesn’t notice them anymore and they look at you like you don’t belong. Tell me you don’t get angry… I ****ing dare you.

The point here is anger is a stimulus too. It stimulates some instinct in you to tap into your own power over your own universe. I suggest you find a way to use it, cuz it ain’t going anywhere.

Soldier

Anabolic Adam — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 09:25:48 +0000

The history books tell us of a time when men were not bound by any formal law or code, instead the preservation of their sacred honor was the unwritten creed they lived by. This way of life was predicated on the notion that one must conduct himself in a manner befitting a proper, honorable man. With that understanding cemented in men’s minds, they were compelled to act in accordance with the principles that they held to be sacred and true. Principles like never allowing any man to take from you what is yours without a fight. Principles like leading by example and being slow to speak. This was the path toward living with honor.

Indeed it is a real tragedy that these high rights and practices are seen as lost by some and as a romantic fairytale by others. In recent times, if we pause to consider this brave history, we reflect with sadness and a profound longing that touches our souls. If we even pause for reflection at all these days, what with the glorious advent of myriad electronic devices, that render our memories’ and original thoughts all but obsolete. It is easy to long for days gone by, with an emptiness that is all too real. Perhaps there is a way to harken back to that way of life, if only in some small measure. Cursed by the spirit of eternal optimism, I would sooner climb on perilous cliffs, tempting death itself, before I would accept a dishonorable fate, and lie face down in the mud.

Having said that, it is entirely up to us both as individuals, and collectively, to bring these principles to the forefront of modern living. All one need do to make these principles live again, is to acknowledge the code of honor that has no end, that is timeless, and ever-present. To turn away from the code can only breed a sad, desperate and ultimately lifeless existence for us all. For those who have the courage to act boldly. For those with the conviction to press on with a new resolve. For those of us who will not be moved by the flame of passing fancy, I offer a new life enriched by the glory of eternal struggle. To raise the bar and to hold ourselves daily accountable to this high standard will not be easy. But then, we are accustomed to living absent any ease of existence, aren’t we?

I propose that we elevate our spiritual beings, by living with character and conviction. By staying the course when others cannot or will not, we plant our flag in the time’s violent terrain. By choosing to shoulder the weight when others refuse, while others bend and are broken, we are shouting to both the heights and the depths. We will not crawl. This way… This path we will take is the warrior’s road. Those that have doubt in their hearts need not walk this way. Those with less than honorable motives will be crushed by the weight of their own aspirations. Those who fail to heed the call or act dishonorably shall perish in the sea of desperation that is life without the code. The code is its own master There is but to heed the call or not to. What are you prepared to do?