The Creator
I am the man responsible for who I am. When I look in the mirror each day, I stare my creator in the eyes. I am responsible for what I have and will become, I am accountable for what I will or will not accomplish. I believe in myself, I bow to no man and my only critic of any consequence has walked every mile of this journey in my size thirteens. I am not God nor am I a god, but I am the architect of my own destiny. I am not so elitist an intellectual as to sneer at the concept of a higher being–a greater power at the helm of all that exists. I don’t turn my nose up at those of devotion, for I feel faith and reason can walk hand in hand. I am spiritual, I am religious, but my own relationship with a higher power is a personal matter, as is yours. My belief in such a deity is of great import, however, for it keeps my ego in check. I believe that there is, in fact, a force in the universe that put this entire process into motion… That set this tilted blue orb spinning upon its axis. Resting assured in this knowledge keeps me humble. I need to know that there is something out there greater and more powerful than me, something out there that can create and dominate and exercise will and control beyond my human capacities. Nonetheless, I live each day feeling that I have barely scratched the surface of what is my potential and I refuse to ever concede that I can be bound or limited by anything less consequential than my own earthly demise. In a world wrought with critics and cynics hurtling doubt and detraction from all sides, this belief allows me to stand my ground and stay the course, steadfast and resolute. I once heard the saying, “if one does as God does often enough, eventually one will be as God is”. Some would call that blasphemy… To me, it feels like something worth striving for-a goal worthy of my aspirations. If one constantly holds himself to the highest of standards, if one conducts himself in accordance with the behavior of his best possible self, the only possible result is a life uncommon, a life inspired, a life divine. To use a very mundane and terrestrial illustration, I recall wondering in my youth why the kids who sat the bench from D.C. and Baltimore, from Jersey City and Philly were better ballers than the thousand point scorers from the burbs. Upon closer examination, the answer was obvious… They were better because they competed against the best and in the end, you can only be as good as the level of your competition. From that day forward, I realized I could never compare myself to those in common quarters, those whom I rubbed elbows with on the regular. Since then, my competition, those that I felt I needed to best, those that I had to measure up to, were only the elite in my chosen vocations, even if such showdowns would only occur in my head. That is the new, exalted standard of which I speak. Compare yourself to the best and you’ll be better than most. Believe that. Never settle for your neighbor’s “good enough”… My Pops taught me that. My parents, I owe them all that I have, all that I am, all that I will ever be… It is in their honor that I strive and struggle and thirst for more. Were I ever to reach any noteworthy modicum of greatness, it would be in no small part due to the countless sacrifices that they made on my behalf. They gave me a chance, they provided me the raw material to work with. But at the end of the day, like everybody else, I was on my mother****in’ own-just like today, just like right now. Without your own will, your own focus and ambition, your own back-breaking, burn-the-midnight-oil hard work you’ll be nothing; regardless of who raised you or who supported you along the way. Despite the shrewdest guidance of parents and professors, the ageless wisdom of coaches and gurus, the creator must eventually stand alone, toeing the perilous line between timeless majesty and utter inconsequence. The creator must be the great decider. I remember an old friend intimating to me that he envied my approach to life, saying, “You just choose what you want to be and that is what you are.” Well, in all honesty, it ain’t quite that ****ing cut and dry, but I know of what he speaks. That is, in fact, the first step–the most important leap of faith in your “becoming”. Following your gut and your instincts and moving boldly in pursuit of that which you are compelled. As Thoreau once so wisely advised “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you’ve imagined.” Decide what you are to be, what you must do, where your journey must lead and move decisively on that route. The creator must be the artist… The auteur… The craftsman. The creator must take the common elements–lumpy, unformed bulk matter and give it order and form. He must pursue his own very personal vision and make something new where there once was nothingness… To create the prized and priceless from what was once only abstract concept and vast, empty expanse. The creator must conceive and execute and follow through, cultivating that which is fertile and fruit-bearing often from the most sparse and desolate soil-making his own garden oasis in the most barren badlands of life’s treacherous landscape. “You are your maker” was what my boy House so succinctly declared and I could never have said it better myself. We build ourselves from the ground up one day at a time, one decision at a time. Moment by moment we create ourselves, in our own idealized image, in the shape and silhouette of the celestial… As creators this is our life mission, our solitary charge. To truly be iconic, one must keep pace with icons. To be godlike, one must keep company with the gods.
