My Life, My Dreams, My problems, My Mistakes, My Thoughts…
Today I had kind of realization. I think Bodybuilding (if I can call myself bodybuilder…nah, I can’t I’m just an amateur at best) makes me happy. It’s my shelter, it’s my dreams coming true. Not all dreams but the one most important now. I enjoy every minute in the gym. Hell, that’s the place where I enjoy myself and I forget my shortcomings, my mistakes.. I love being myself there. In other life "things" I’m not as happy. Stupid mistakes happen, immaturity,acting stupid, not knowing myself fully even. I really am happiest I ever was, now that I have a dream, have a goal, have what I love doing, but still…there is something not right… Even as I write now I am confused…I can’t find balance (for now)… I dream BIG! And building a great body is just a part of it… It will probably be the easiest dream to reach, because I absolutely love and enjoy working out. I understood that BB is what drives me now, keeps me alive… But I want so much more …so much more than great looking body, health and strength. I dream so big and want it so bad I start kicking my ass for not having it… not being able to achieve it. I see mistakes, but can’t stop repeating them. I need more will.. I thought BB will help me develop it..but… since I love this sport I’m motivated already..no need to exercise "will muscle" a lot here… So I’m confused now… I’m headed for success in bodybuilding… but am I headed for success in life????????????????????????? If I keep doing what I’ve done..then not really. I’ll just be an average guy… shit… I don’t want to be so…I’ve actually started feeling bad about putting bodybuilding in front of studies…. I’m concerned with my future… Enough ranting already.. I have to get my head straight…
June 12, 2008 at 10:42 am
Healthy body will always equal healthy mind - stop being so hard on yourself, be proud that you are smart enough to honour your body by actually working out and taking care of it, we only have one body and if we are to embrace all that life can offer then its best that we have the best body possible! The discipline of lifting will follow thro in all areas of your life - you are destined for success - so stop doubting and start claiming it my friend.
June 12, 2008 at 11:08 am
I echo what Melinda F said. Plus, you ARE a bodybuilder, don’t ever doubt it. It’s not what you look like that makes you a bodybuilder, it’s what your doing at the gym and with your diet. How your body looks will be the pay off for your dedication and hard work. Keep on loving the gym, your quality of life will be so much better in the long run!