Adina’s Cute & Perky Blog!

I just look at him.

His birthday is May 30th.

Mine is in two weeks.

“Shells and Cheese. That’s what I want.”

I continue staring at him.

He shrugs and says, “I know that was random, but I already know that’s what I want.”

“OK, son. Any other requests?”

“No. Just Shells and Cheese. On my birthday.”

“OK, son.”

“That’s like nine months away isn’t it?”

“You know son, I haven’t really added it up yet. But I got you covered with the Shells and Cheese.”

And…for the record. I will wrap a box of them and make him open them.

That’s just what I do.

But I thought it was funny that he just threw that out there like that.

I’m usually guilty of not saying what I want, or as my dearest friend likes to call me, a PEOPLE PLEASE!

He even told me I had a PP problem.

I would fuss at him about that, but I wouldn’t want to make him mad.

Or anybody else mad.

As long as everyone else is happy….

And….yeah. He’s right.

I’ve got a PP problem.

And it held me back for a long time.

Now there are only remnants of what once was.

I used to work my schedule around what everyone else needed.

I had to gradually learn to get the things in that were important to me.

And I used to give in and do others plans, never giving a second thought to what I wanted to do.

Segue to this weekend when my two best friends could not understand that I wouldn’t b

It wasn’t in their plans for me.

But it was in my plans for myself.

I had choices.

I could give in the what they wanted to do and wish I was at that show.

Or I could put on my big girl panties and go!

Sometimes it’s OK to make choices that aren’t popular with anyone but yourself.

Because it’s always OK to be yourself.

And I will keep working on that PP problem.

Now, what you have to understand is that I cleaned up the grammar a bit.

I’m wanting to saw AWWW, because my sweet classmate is mentally challenged.

And sometimes I let myself forget that he still wants the same things out of life we all do.

So I say to him, “We all have things we would go back and change.”

I mean, don’t we all?

I would have eaten less and studied more.

I would have waited to get married.

I would have held on tighter to a few of my friends and let go of some others.

I would have….

But wait!

If I had eaten less back then, would I be the Adina I am today?

One of the biggest joys of my life is helping people with their struggle to lose weight.

And I can’t even look back and say I would have studied more.

I made decent grades and almost always turned my work in on time.

Besides, some of my biggest lessons came when I didn’t turn my work in on time.

And if I didn’t learn that lesson back then, I’d surely have to learn it now.

And while my marriage was a mistake, my children were not.

So, as much as I didn’t enjoy it, I would even do that again.

And besides all of that, my ex makes me appreciate the man I love even more. The man who makes me feel melty. How would I know melty without unmelty?

And those friends…

Some of the people I am close to now, I can’t imagine being close to back in the day.

While some of the people who I thought would be in my life forever are just casual acquaintances.

Things happen along the way. What draws you closer to some pulls your farther from others.

And as long as you’re happy, does it really even matter?

I spent a long time facing backwards thinking, “What if I had been thin back then? What if I had gotten it together earlier?”

Until I realized…

A perfect past with no moments of pain would only lead me to a dull future with no recognition of pleasure.

And who wants that?

It all comes down to this…

When I wake up in the morning, I do not wake up with regret.

I don’t open my eyes and think, “Man, I should have….”

I open them and say, “Woo hoo!!! I got another one.”

And it doesn’t matter what I did on Monday is 1982, 1985, 1997, or even 2008.

What matters is today.

And each moment of regret is a rung on the ladder that brought me to where I am now.

Who knew all those things stacked together could take me so high?

A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year-old grandson. The old man’s hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered.

The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather’s shaky hands and ailing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.

The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. ‘We must do something about father,’ said the son. ‘I’ve had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.’

So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl.

When the family glanced in Grandfather’s direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone.

Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.

One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, ‘What are you making?’ Just as sweetly, the boy responded, ‘Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up. ‘

The four-year-old smiled and went back to work.

That evening the husband took Grandfather’s hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

Like with me and weight loss. People want to hear that it’s easy.

I found a pill.

Had some surgery.

Maybe an illness they could catch?

And it’s not just weight loss.

I see it everywhere.

I see someone post a pitiful message on facebook or myspace.

While I’m thinking snap out of it and move on, the general consensus is to tell people I’m so sorry or some such sentiment.

You know what helped me?

People telling me the truth and getting tough on me when I needed it.

I had several defining moments along the way.

None of them began with I’m so sorry or bless your heart.

Three guys come to mind when I think of who helped me the most along the way.

There was Coach Little.

He had watched me for months, waiting for me to accept his offer for help.

And when I did…

That man showed me no mercy.

None at all.

He worked me like a plow horse! A plow horse, I tell you!

We did sprints and lunges in the heat.

He made me workout with the football team.

He pounded his office window if I didn’t take the right amount of steps up the hill.

He rarely, if ever, approved cheating.

And I can count on one hand the complements he gave me.

And…

They meant more, and I remember them well.

And then there was my Hot ISS Friend Kevin.

He came into the picture later.

In casual conversation one day he E-mailed to ask about my diet.

I was at goal by then.

And in my fear of gaining it all back, I had let my calories fall to 500 a day.

He didn’t sugar coat it, and he didn’t baby talk.

I believe it began with, “Woman, listen to me. You will never lose another pound if you continue to eat like that.”

And he didn’t make a diet full of fluffy little cute foods. He fixed one with clean foods. A diet for life.

And like with Coach Little, I remember exactly what he said when he sent it.

“Do this and trust me.”

So that was the beginning and the middle.

What about now?

I have another.

Doc Martin.

He goes to my gym.

A few months ago, he told me, “Adina, you look like you’ve got an extra layer. I’m not saying you’re big or anything. I’m just saying you have an extra layer.”

And he was right.

And I did something about it.

So when I walked in the gym last night, I got a thumbs up with a “That’s more like it.”

And I’ll remember those words, because he doesn’t hand them out like candy.

I have learned not to shy away from people who will tell me the truth.

The truth sometimes stings, but it always comes with results when faced.

You won’t find me putting things like I’m sad as my status.

That will bring with it pity. A string of people wanting to share misery, because it really does love company.

I’ll be off seeking people who will tell me the truth…even when I don’t want to hear it…

Because that is when I need to hear it the most.

It was going to be with a doctor I could never afford on my own. One known for his work with bodybuilders.

With great anticipation and excitement I told me friends.

I texted.

I called.

I told a few in person.

That was several months ago.

It never happened.

There will always be setbacks in life. When I realized he wasn’t going to be able to keep his word I was sad for a day or two.

So many have shared my journey so far; I really wanted them to be part of this too.

More than that, I wanted people to see my recovery process. I wanted someone with only ten pounds to lose to look at me and think, “Wow. That hurts. I better get this ten off before it’s fifty.”

I let the idea lie dormant.

It hurt too bad to think about.

I started dressing differently. I stopped trying to hide what I thought would one day be gone. I thought, “I better just learn to deal with this.”

But then I saw a few pictures from the weekend.

And I knew it was time.

Sometimes you just know.

It all comes down to one thing. Someone broke their word to me, and for a very short moment there, my spirit too. But I was the one choosing to stay there and dwell where things seemed hopeless.

So I will do it on my own.

But isn’t fitness a journey you do on your own anyway?

You wait for someone to go to the gym, but no one wants to as badly as you.

You wait for your coworkers to diet with you. They walk in with donuts.

In the end, while you make so many friends along the way, the journey is your own.

And I have never regretted one moment of the journey.

And isn’t that neat!?