Adina’s Cute & Perky Blog!

I was laughing in one.

One time I blinked.

My personal favorite was the one where I looked absolutely naked, because I was wearing some sort of off the shoulder gypsy-looking shirt thing.

I remember showing it to a cashier one time. He looked at it. Then he looked at me.

“You look naked.”

“Yes. I know.”

There was a long dramatic pause before he said…. “Were you?”

I’m going to need him to be smarter than that.

He’s probably working for the DMV to this day. Waiting. Patiently waiting for all the naked girls to come in and renew their license.

God love him.

But I wasn’t expecting to have a photo made today. It’s casual Friday. I’m not dressed up, and I’m really not even fixed.

The last time I had needed a new license was to do a change of address. I did it online. No photo required. They just sent me my old one again.

My license isn’t due to expire until 2013. I just lost it.

I’m thinking I’m going to go in and just leave ten dollars and get my same old, same old.

Until she said, “OK. Go stand behind the line.”

Then I whined.

Yes, I said it. I whined.

“You mean I have to have a new photo?”

“Yes. There is no other way to do it really.”

“I look terrible.”

“Just stand behind the line.”

Notice how she didn’t interject with, “Honey, you look fine.”

How very unsouthern of her. She must not have been born here.

I finished my duties and was walking away. Micah was with me, and I whined and griped about the new photo the whole way down the hall.

“Why are you complaining?”

“I didn’t even smile. It looks like any mug shot you’ve ever seen.”

“MOM! Good Lord. You weighed 250 pounds and were Band-Aid white in the last one. I don’t care how bad it looks, it’s better than that one.”

I just stopped in my tracks and looked at him.

“Son, you’re right. Let’s go eat. I’ll shut my pie hole now.”

And I did.

He was right about that last photo. I did weigh 250 pounds in it. I renewed it by mail last time. I CHOSE to keep that wretched photo.

It was one of my last few reminders.

The new picture really is a bad picture, but it surely is better than what it used to be.

And you know, I don’t need to be reminded of what I used to be anymore.

At some point we all have to let go of who we used to be in one way or another. Even if it’s by force.

Thank goodness I lost that license, y’all! Thank goodness!

It was going to be with a doctor I could never afford on my own. One known for his work with bodybuilders.

With great anticipation and excitement I told me friends.

I texted.

I called.

I told a few in person.

That was several months ago.

It never happened.

There will always be setbacks in life. When I realized he wasn’t going to be able to keep his word I was sad for a day or two.

So many have shared my journey so far; I really wanted them to be part of this too.

More than that, I wanted people to see my recovery process. I wanted someone with only ten pounds to lose to look at me and think, “Wow. That hurts. I better get this ten off before it’s fifty.”

I let the idea lie dormant.

It hurt too bad to think about.

I started dressing differently. I stopped trying to hide what I thought would one day be gone. I thought, “I better just learn to deal with this.”

But then I saw a few pictures from the weekend.

And I knew it was time.

Sometimes you just know.

It all comes down to one thing. Someone broke their word to me, and for a very short moment there, my spirit too. But I was the one choosing to stay there and dwell where things seemed hopeless.

So I will do it on my own.

But isn’t fitness a journey you do on your own anyway?

You wait for someone to go to the gym, but no one wants to as badly as you.

You wait for your coworkers to diet with you. They walk in with donuts.

In the end, while you make so many friends along the way, the journey is your own.

And I have never regretted one moment of the journey.

May 22.

It’s funny how different dates mean more than others.

I would have thought that date would stick out to me, but it didn’t. I was thinking it had been close to a year. It actually surprised me to discover the year mark had come and gone without notice.

I thought back to the events of that day.

It was in the early hours of the morning when it happened.

And yeah, OK. I hit a pig. I totaled my car out hitting a pig. (Shut up, all of you!)

I was on my way home from my boyfriend’s house.

I called, and he did not answer.

He called back in a few minutes. I could tell he had been sleeping.

I told him what had happened and I vividly remember him saying, “Go home and get some sleep.”

Huh? What?

He did not ask if I was OK, nor did he call back to see if I made it to the house.

The next day I got a text.

“How is the car?”

And not once on that day did he call and let me hear his voice.

And aren’t those the defining moments in life? Those moments when you look up and can clearly see what isn’t there.

Love. Support. Dignity. They were all missing.

Over the course of the next week he offered no help in the week-after-the-wreck process.

Not once.

I thought about it. He had always been this way, but I didn’t want to see it. He left me stranded with a flat tire once. Took a female employee to lunch on my birthday. Never called when he said he would. I don’t recall that he ever gave me a gift. Not on Christmas, nor on my birthday.

And….

Stick a fork in her, y’all. Adina is done!

Sometimes you have to realize who or what is no good for you! That man was no good for me.

It might be as simple as sweets are not good for you.

Cigarettes.

Coffee by the gallon. (OK…that one’s me again. Sorry!)

But I can look back across this last year and see…WOW. What an amazing year it has been.

And it began with walking away from someone who wasn’t good for me, which led me right to the people who were. Who are!

For everything you struggle to give up, there is something so very much better waiting for you. But you can’t get to it until you let go of what is holding you back.

Sometimes you have to force an open mind, but sometimes it’s just there.

When I attended UFC 98 a few weeks ago, it was just there.

Talk about a blank slate. I knew NOTHING about UFC fighting. Nothing at all!

Jonah is not a fan, but he was not going to let us go without him! He studied ahead of time and took notes at the weigh in. (God love him!)

But by the fight he was excited, and he knew who he was rooting for.

I learned that Jonah did not have be a fanatic about something to appreciate an opportunity. Although that wasn’t his thing, he made it his thing for that one night.

I also learned that Micah can be moved. As a teenager, he rarely shows enthusiasm. When Rashad Evans slumped to the floor, Micah looked at me and almost shouted, “He’s out. Stone cold out.”

But the greatest lesson came in the last few minutes we were there. The speeches. I heard several that evening. Of most, I cannot tell you a single word.

Most of them.

But there is one I remember well.

Machida. The big winner of the evening.

English being a second language to him, he worded things just a little differently. It was endearing. I would even go so far as to say it was charming.

It culminated in him saying, “If you have a dream, go ahead. Go ahead!”

He was so excited that even the Evans fans around him had to laugh.

Then he said, “I keep this belt long time.”

Funny that a big grown man who, as my friend would say, knocked Evans the hell out, would be standing there like a little boy. Smiling at a dream fulfilled like a little boy smiles at his first bike.

But in an instant this man who had just knocked somebody stone cold out gave everyone in that room a key to success.

“Go ahead!”

We all have dreams, wishes, desires, and hopes.

And some of those things often seem out of reach.

But as Machida would say, “Go ahead!

My go-ahead-moment is getting some surgery done. I’ve needed it a long time, and have even been promised it on more than one occasion.

But you know what? Obviously it’s not as important to anyone else as it is to me. It’s time for me to just go ahead!

In fact, I think that later today I will make a go-ahead-list!

If Machida can do it, then so can I!

Sometimes you have to force an open mind, but sometimes it’s just there.

When I attended UFC 98 a few weeks ago, it was just there.

Talk about a blank slate. I knew NOTHING about UFC fighting. Nothing at all!

Jonah is not a fan, but he was not going to let us go without him! He studied ahead of time and took notes at the weigh in. (God love him!)

But by the fight he was excited, and he knew who he was rooting for.

I learned that Jonah did not have be a fanatic about something to appreciate an opportunity. Although that wasn’t his thing, he made it his thing for that one night.

I also learned that Micah can be moved. As a teenager, he rarely shows enthusiasm. When Rashad Evans slumped to the floor, Micah looked at me and almost shouted, “He’s out. Stone cold out.”

But the greatest lesson came in the last few minutes we were there. The speeches. I heard several that evening. Of most, I cannot tell you a single word.

Most of them.

But there is one I remember well.

Machida. The big winner of the evening.

English being a second language to him, he worded things just a little differently. It was endearing. I would even go so far as to say it was charming.

It culminated in him saying, “If you have a dream, go ahead. Go ahead!”

He was so excited that even the Evans fans around him had to laugh.

Then he said, “I keep this belt long time.”

Funny that a big grown man who, as my friend would say, knocked Evans the hell out, would be standing there like a little boy. Smiling at a dream fulfilled like a little boy smiles at his first bike.

But in an instant this man who had just knocked somebody stone cold out gave everyone in that room a key to success.

“Go ahead!”

We all have dreams, wishes, desires, and hopes.

And some of those things often seem out of reach.

But as Machida would say, “Go ahead!

My go-ahead-moment is getting some surgery done. I’ve needed it a long time, and have even been promised it on more than one occasion.

But you know what? Obviously it’s not as important to anyone else as it is to me. It’s time for me to just go ahead!

In fact, I think that later today I will make a go-ahead-list!

If Machida can do it, then so can I!

I was headed through security for the last time.

I went to reach in my pocket and pull out my license, but only my credit card was there.

I realized that I had handed both my credit card and driver’s license over when I went to check my baggage, but only received one of them back.

The security guard very nicely told me, “Just go get it and wave at me when you come back.”

I went to the sport where I checked in, and it was not there.

They looked high and low, but it could not be found.

The lady who checked me in looked at me strangely, but said she did not know.

And at that moment, the mom instinct kicked in.

I WAS going to make it home to my boys. Simple as that.

So I looked at the ticket lady and told her, “That’s OK. Mail it to me if you find it.”

Then I went back to the man who knew I was looking for it and said, “Look. It’s gone. VANISHED. POOF. …. But I’m going to need you to let me through that gate anyway, because I have MOM duties calling me home.”

He looked at my social security and credit cards to see if the names matched. I also happened to have my expired license in my purse, which helped a good deal.

But you know, it’s always funny to see who is watching you. You just never really do know.

I was strolling through the food court moments later when I decided I needed a California Roll for lunch. I noticed a lady kept looking at me.

“Did you find it?”

“I’m sorry. What?”

“Did you find your license?”

“Oh. Were you down there?”

“Yes. I saw you looking for it.”

Then I thought it was very funny that she added, “I bet you only laid it down for a second, somebody scooped it up, grabbed it, and put it in their pocket. There’s no telling WHAT they’re going to do with it.”

Obviously, she was not put in my path to help me find the bright side of things!

“Oh, it will be fine. They will find it and mail it back to me, or I will just get another one. No big deal.”

She cocked her head and gave me the strangest look.

“I hope for your sake it works out like that.”

“I have no doubt it will.”

Misery loves company, and she was aiming on inviting herself to my pity party. But I haven’t thrown one of those in years.

My immediate thoughts were plenty when it happened, but they weren’t what she thought.

I was glad my trips had not been reversed. This surely could have kept me from taking the boys to Vegas.

I was glad I had friends in the area. I could have called Robbie, Gregg, or any of my MD friends to come help me out at the airport. I never once felt helpless.

And by chance, my Blackberry had just alerted me to an E-mail from my favorite person. I knew I could stop and message him if I needed to.

Besides all of this, by the time she saw me, I had already made it through the checkpoint.

So by this time it’s just a small irritation.

And when I fired up my computer to write this Blog, there was a news story…

About a woman who had been misdiagnosed, and through grave error on the part of two doctors, lost both legs and both arms.

And you know what? My healthy body is going to carry me to the DMV later today and get a copy of my license….and then later to the gym.

And it’s going to be a good day.
No pity parties allowed.