Adina’s Cute & Perky Blog!

Someone tried to steal my joy yesterday.

I’ve been pulling two-a-days getting ready for the Arnold. Even those of us who don’t compete want to look good!

But when it came time for that second round of cardio I was so upset that I was in tears.

And I wanted to quit for the day. I just wanted to be through.

But I reminded myself, “Nobody has permission to steal my good day.”

And I climbed on that treadmill with my weighted vest and set the timer for 60 minutes.

That 60 seemed bigger last night.

I just wasn’t into it. So I told myself, “Just make 20 minute and you can leave.”

That’s the magic cardio time for me. I don’t feel like I got any cardio if I get less than that.

And I forced myself to make it from 60 to 40 on that little read out.

And once it got to 40, I was thinking, “Come on, Adina. Make it to 30. You can do it.”

And again I reminded myself, “Nobody has permission….”

And I made it to 30.

Half way to goal.

And I reminded myself again, “Nobody has….”

And my body took over my mind, and I cranked it into gear.

And by the time there were only 20 minutes left, my quietly streaming tears were replaced with the sweat of someone working harder than her mind wanted to let her.

And when the readout showed all zeros and the beginning of cool down, I stayed for that too. I never do that. (I know. Bad, Adina. Y’all can fuss at me for that later.)

I stayed those extra five minutes for nobody!

Because really, nobody has permission to steal my good day. And I needed that cardio to have a good day!

I’ll never forget the day of the big win…

Third grade was not a very fun year for me.

That was the year the cops came to evict us from our house. We lived in a motel for months. I switched schools in the middle of the year. My dad took me to see movies such that no child should ever behold, and would leave our family for good that summer.

But in the midst of this all, Ms. Addison was teaching us science through raising a pet.

A pet chameleon.

Oh, how I loved that thing!

When the day came for the cute little green critter to leave the class, there was only one fair way to do it.

Everyone who wanted it would have to pick a number.

I picked eleven.

I remember sitting at my desk thinking, “Please, please, please God, let her pick mine.”

And she did!

I don’t even remember how she picked or drew. I just remember that I WON!!! Me. The unlucky, sad little girl.

And it was with pride and joy I carried that thing home!

My first duty of new pet ownership was a trip to the store to get some pet food for my new friend.

I just knew they’d be cute little doodle pebbles of some kind. I mean, his mouth was so little and cute.

Sometimes brown. Sometimes green.

And I loved him.

And he loved me.

Until….

The wretched, horrible man at the pet store gave me worms to feed him.

“Worms? I have to feed him worms?”

“Yes. They will live in this meal and you give him some every day.”

“I have to feed him LIVE worms?”

And the trip home from the pet store was not nearly as fun as the ride there.

I was now pondering the grossness that is worms. I wouldn’t even know if I was holding them by the head or the butt.

And even with all I had been through that year, THAT was the thing I thought would be my undoing.

But for a little girl going through a tough year, that lizard symbolized the only winning moment of the whole year.

And I fed Eleven a little worm every day.

And what seemed so hard and so wretched was worth the effort to nurture.

Just like when I was heavy and everything I did seemed so wretched and horrible at the time.

But you grow to love things you nurture, whether it be a lizard or, well, yourself.

And I cried when that worm-eating lizard died, but not nearly as hard as I cried the first time somebody called me thin.

Doing those things you think you just cannot do lead to the biggest rewards and best moments.

And to this very day, eleven is still my favorite number.

Oh….my….goodness!

I did NOT want to get out of my bed this morning!!!

It felt so good and snuggly!

And honestly, I was just flat-out tired!

You see, I have been working extra hard for the last few weeks. My diet has been spot on and, I have been pulling two-a-days at the gym.

I just want to look my best when I go to the Arnold!

But this morning…

Well, my bed felt extra, extra  good and snuggly, and I just didn’t want to get up!! You know, sometimes you just don’t.

But I turned my alarm off and got up and stumbled to my computer.

Through bleary eyes I read a PM from another friend who wants me to meet him at The Arnold. I smiled, but I was still wanting to get back in that bed, y’all.

I fumbled with my clothes and shoes thinking, “Man, I’m tired today.”

I dropped my cup and had trouble mixing my little morning ProminoPlus drink. The directions say to “wait for the reactive bubbles…” Ends up, they mean business! I still drank it, only the bubbles reacted in my throat and not in my cup.

I forgot where I put my keys and had to search.

All-in-all, I got out of the door just a few minutes behind schedule.

I was still sleepy at the gym when I got on the bike for my warm-up, so I didn’t feel like changing the channels. There was an infomercial for a diet where you didn’t have to count calories or watch what you eat. So, every few minutes I mumbled, “You moron” to the TV.

And as it always happens, I got pepped up just a few minutes in to my workout.

I flipped that TV to a better infomercial and hollered, “You go girl!” every time someone tried on her new girdle and got measured.

And I came back and replied to my messages with the vim and vigor of someone who knows, “It’s only 5:00AM and my cardio is done for the day! The whole day! WOO HOO!!!”

And I glanced over at my snuggly bed and whispered, “You did not win today.”

Because here’s what I know, and here’s why I get up.

I could have pressed a button and gotten an extra hour of sleep. But had I pressed it, that hour would have felt like five minutes. And I would have gotten up thinking, “Dang it. Now when will I get my cardio in?”

My entire day is set by the choices I make when I first get up.

So, on days I don’t want to get up, I keep this in mind.

Every single time I choose to stay in bed over do my cardio, I regret it. Every single time. Without fail.
So today, I gave myself the gift of a regret-free morning. And that bed will feel just as good when I crash into it later tonight. And I choose to think that thinking snuggly thoughts at the gym burns more calories! It’s got to! 

Three thank you notes lay on my desk when I got to work yesterday. They were from the foster kids I took to dinner in Dallas last month.

I laughed when I started to read their messages. I could tell they had been prompted, because they all said variations of the exact same thing!

My eyes immediately searched for the part where Kendrick had signed, because of all the kids I was most anxious to see what he would say.

You never know what brought the kids there, and most of the time you don’t ask. You just listen.

Kendrick was dressed to the nines, gold chain and all! He had an eye for fashion as he recognized the brand of my shirt.

“Ohh, Miss. I didn’t know you knew who Ed Hardy was.”

“I didn’t. I just liked the tiger on the front.”

“Well, that’s cool. I got game, you know.”

“That’s good, but I have more.”

“Ohh miss, there is no way. Hey, what’s this leaf doing in my salad?”

“Honey, it’s not a leaf. It’s lettuce. Just eat it.”

His eyes went from the leaf on his fork to my eyes and back to the leaf on his fork. “Ohh, miss. Are you sure it’s OK?”

“Yes, Kendrick. I eat leaves all the time. Spinach. Lettuce. Stuff like that.”

By this time the entire table was watching this unfold.

And we all held our breath as he ate the leaf, and sighed and smiled when he proclaimed it good.

“Oh miss. You were right. That WAS good. I still got game you know. Can you bring me some lemonade next time you come?”

“Yes, Kendrick. I will bring you some lemonade.”

So, you can see why I was anxious to read his thoughts!!

And it was a short and sweet little generic message saying thanks, but what made me tear up was a little heart he had drawn at the front of his message!

Mind you, I could tell it was covering up the scribbled mistake he made at the very beginning of his message. But a young man with game knows to cover a mistake with his heart.

And isn’t that true in everything we do? Even if the gym.

If I mess up, all I have to do is put my heart in it to get back on track.

When my cheat meal turns into a cheat day, all I have to do is pour my heart into some cardio.

When I don’t see the changes I want, all I have to do is put my heart into some heavier weights.

And on days I just don’t feel like doing any part of it, I remind my heart how good I have it.

Because somewhere there is a Kendrick who would love to be in my shoes, with the ability to come and go to the gym any time I want.

And yes, that child does have game. He most certainly does! And years from now, I hope he learns how to use it!

Of course, not as much as I hope he still scribbles hearts over all his mistakes.

I had a friend who tried to borrow my motivation last week.

She thought the ticket to her success lay in doing exactly what I did.

And to some extent it could, but there is more to it than that.

There is something that just has to come from within.

The week started with her wanting me to come up with a diet for her. This is not something I’m really good at, as I don’t even do my own. So, I directed her to a website.

And she didn’t go.

Day one came and we went to the gym at noon.

Day two came.

And it went.

And she didn’t go.

And day three.

And day four.

And, well, you get the picture.

The fire to change and be your best has to come from within.

I was not born motivated; I arrived here through grueling hard work.

I don’t always wake up happy to eat chicken and brown rice.

Today was one of those days I didn’t want to wake up. I just didn’t.

The alarm went off at 4:00 and immediately I was aware of how good and snuggly my bed felt.

I just didn’t want to get up, y’all!

But as my hand went to push the sleep button, I pondered, “Why are you doing this?”

The reason?

I like being fit.

I like the way it makes me look, and I like the way it makes me feel.

I like that people learned long ago not to offer me treats at work.

And I like leaving the gym at 5:00 in the morning knowing I’ve already done my cardio. It sets my whole day right.

I don’t have to look to someone else to motivate me or even in the mirror. All I have to do is remind myself how much better my life is because of the choices I make.

I can give a million pep talks to my friend, but they won’t sink in until she decides to be her own motivation. And when that day comes, we’ll do our cardio together at 4:00AM, because we’ll both know it’s worth it!

I need to report a theft.

Evidently, without my knowing, somebody stole….my….ICE CREAM.

I mean, that’s all I can figure out.

Y’all know I like to watch the cooking channel while I do my cardio.

Well, there was a special on ice cream Friday night. I learned all kinds of neat things about this cold and yummy treat!

But the thing that sticks out most in my mind was how much of it we eat a year. According to this special, the average American consumes twenty-four quarts of the stuff a year.

TWENTY-FOUR QUARTS!

My treadmill almost stopped when I heard this. I say almost, because y’all know what happens when you stop on the treadmill. You just kind of slide to the end. And that’s not cool, so I just kept walking in my shock.

I can tell you this; Adina does not have twenty-four quarts of it in a year.  I guaran-dang-tee it.

I very rarely have things like ice cream. I love it, but it’s not worth the calories to me.

I suppose I used to eat that much, as hard as that is for me to admit.

I still like to look back and pretend I had a metabolism problem. And I suppose on some level I did. I wasn’t doing anything to allow my metabolism to work for me.

But I was hearing this as I was on the treadmill for the second time that day, and it had been a perfectly clean eating day for me.

And I would remember the words of that show when I got my coffee yesterday. I considered it a cheat when I added a splash of unplanned soy milk in the mix.

Yet somewhere, someone was gorging on ice cream. And more than likely wondering why they simply cannot lose any weight.

And I guess the answer is, to lose weight you must be below average.

Below average in time spent watching TV.

Below average in making excuses for why you can’t.

And for goodness sakes, below the national average in ice cream consumption.

I went to bed last night not sure of what I wanted to write. That is rare for me! My mind is usually full of ideas.

Then I woke up this morning at 4:00 ready to crank out my cardio.

Still no ideas.

I went through my usual morning routine, so the ideas should have been swirling. Because let me just tell you, my mind is never at rest!!!

But…. did I go through my usual routine?

HMM…

Let me back track just a bit.

The alarm went off at 4:00 this morning and I bounced out of bed.

Wait a minute.

Even the perkiest of girls doesn’t bounce out of bed a 4:00AM!

While I do wake up with a smile on my face, I usually contemplate why I am up SOOO freaking early. (Just for a second!)

But I didn’t do that today…or yesterday….or….well, you get the picture!

So I was contemplating why my diet and exercise program is so easy to follow these days, while it should be extra hard. Hard because I am REALLY buckling down.

And it didn’t take very long to come up with a reason. What I am doing has purpose.

I’ve been at goal so long now that I had forgotten that feeling you get when you are striving to make changes.

AND…I forgot the excitement that comes when you see those changes.

I stay the same weight pretty much all the time now, but there is that extra few pounds that you know you can get off if you really give it your all.

And that’s what I’ve been doing.

That struggle to lose and make changes wasn’t as bad as I recall, because I got to feel like this for two solid years, and I would do it all over again.

If you are struggling to lose weight or gain muscle, just consider what it brings to your workouts, and that is purpose.

And that alone is a reason to bounce out of bed any day.

Sometimes, people groan when they walk in the gym and I am doing cardio.

I know. You need time to let that one soak in!

Surely everyone is happy to see the perkiest girl in the world, right?

That is, of course, unless you’re coming to do cardio and I am already happily pumping away….while….watching….the….

Are you ready?

COOKING CHANNEL!!!

I love that channel best of all the channels!

I could watch it all day long.

I will even strategically plan my cardio to be able to watch Iron Chef or Ace of Cakes while doing it!!! I love watching them make those cakes that don’t look like cakes!

We just don’t have things like that in East Texas. They have fondant rolled to look like sugary-crafted works of art. We have a can of Betty Crocker, and some hard, crusty sugary-doodles that can spell the words you want if you don’t crack them while peeling them off the paper.

So, when they round that corner dreading their cardio, and I’m watching a cake contest. Well…they groan!

My friend Audrey said the other day, “Adina. You’re a sadist.”

But I’m not.

I’ve just tapped into something that not everybody has. And that is the fact that I don’t have to eat it just because I see it.

I mean, just yesterday I had to go to eat lunch with my coworkers.

Now, because I am going to the Arnold, I have been eating really, really clean.

I had the day perfectly planned out. My coworker and I had been planning on going to the gym during lunch.

My mind immediately began calculating macros of what I could have and not go off plan and when to go to the gym.

But when we walked in the restaurant, my coworker says, “I guess you’re going to cheat since we’re here.”

“Absolutely not.”

“You’re kidding me?”

“Nope.  I’m really not going to cheat. I have too many things coming up.”

And with that I ordered chicken.

Simple as that.

Just like I don’t have to have cake because I saw it on TV, I don’t have to cheat because I’m in a restaurant or see food.

Bad food will always be around me, but fit people will not be.

And maybe, just maybe someone will look over and say, “I guess I’m not going to cheat today, because she’s not.”

I got a sweet E-mail from a friend yesterday morning. It was very short and to the point. In fact, there were only two lines.

But it was that second line I was thinking about when I was on the treadmill yesterday, “I will do anything for you.”

Would he really do anything for me?

And the answer is yes. Yes, he would.

I can call him any time, or ask him anything.

The funny thing is, we’ve never met in person.

Sometimes we lose sight of what anything means.

How many times do I hear, “I will do anything. Whatever you tell me, I will do.”

Yet, when I tell someone how to eat and when to exercise, you can hear crickets chirping.

Perhaps this is a word thrown around all too easily, making the one saying it feel like they mean more than they do? I don’t know.

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I did not decide to go to the Arnold till a few days ago. The need just hit me. The, I-will-do-anything-to-get-there need.

And there was that word again.

Am I really willing to do anything?

We all know we like to look our leanest for these things, and certainly I did not give it much time. But that’s when anything kicks in!

And anything for me is 4:00AM cardio, noon lifting, and evening cardio.

It’s cutting back and making a plan.

It’s doing anything and everything to get where I need to be. And that is with body, mind, and soul.

I know what my friend means, when he says anything. He means I can call him any time day or night. He means if I have a need, he will do what he can to see that I don’t have that need by the end of the day. His friendship backs up his words to me.

For me right now, anything means extra cardio and an extra clean diet with no cheats.
So, don’t say anything unless you really mean it. There is more to that word then you know.

So I was making plans to meet up with friends at the Arnold this year when I noted a PM I had not answered.

 And I pride myself on answering all my PM’s.

 So while I was at it, I thought I would go back and double-check to make sure there were no other unanswered messages.

 The next message to catch my eye was from a name I didn’t even recognize. Only, I had replied to him. 

 UGH!

 How could I forget?

 There is really only one excuse; I took someone for granted.

That is never easy for me to face or admit.

 Only yesterday I was writing about how we all have more people on our team then we know.

 Ironic, how I was subtly reminded that I had forgotten members of my own team. The quiet, gentle people who may just pop in once in a while to remind me that they are with me.

 And it’s those quiet supporters who mean so much, but often go without thanks.

 The ones like, my hot ISS friend Kevin who tells me it’s time for a new diet.

 My MD girls who make me feel I have girlfriends all over the world!

 My faithful, faithful, faithful Blog readers who are there wherever and whenever I post.

 The bodybuilding.com worker bees who always make me feel so special.

 And Dave and John who quietly add me as a friend on Face Book reminding me that they are still there, even though I am still here.

 If all our supporters were loud and there all the time, chaos would ensue. Pep rallies are fun, but you couldn’t really live in one.

 I am thankful for all the quiet members of my team, which reminds me…

 What have I done in quiet support lately?

 I have a lot of things I need to pay forward, and I better get cracking.

 And if you are reading this, rest assured I am thankful for you!