Adina’s Cute & Perky Blog!

When I first set out to lose weight, I set out to do so with purpose. To get a guy back.

 I also thought it would help me figure some things out. Like why my family life was not what I wanted it to be.

 And I thought it would fix friendships from years past that had gone awry.

 There were just so many things wrong in my life at the time. I just knew that losing weight was the key to going back and fixing everything.

 I had lost weight once before. I was 19 at the time. I think I was anyway. The weight came back on so quickly, it was kind of a blur.

 But for that one moment that I was at goal, I bought this dress. THE dress.

 And I looked good in it.

 I wore that dress everywhere, and I was sad when it no longer fit. I mourned for that dress and I longed for that dress.

 And it was the first thing to cease fitting, because it was tight, y’all! It buttoned down the back, so it was very unforgiving.

 Let me just tell you, no one needs to wear a dress that buttons up the back unless it fits just right! And that dress no longer did!

 But I couldn’t bear to part with that dress.

 I loved it. It represented something to me. GOAL. The weight I had not been able to maintain.

 So I tucked it away at the back of my closet…for the next 15 years!

 And the day I realized I was that size again, I couldn’t wait to pull it out and slip…it….but …Oh dear God. What is that?

 It is HIDEOUS!

 Fifteen years had passed and that dress was god-awful ugly! It had shoulder pads any football player would envy and flowers as big as my head. And they were mustard yellow. And it was like a bad piece of upholstery fabric had made its way to my closet.

 And I had to laugh. I didn’t even try it on for posterity! Because what if somebody saw me in it? It really was that bad!

 And you know? I didn’t want that old boyfriend back as much as I thought.

 And my size has nothing to do with my family situation.

 And that dress only served to remind me, I can’t let living in past memories keep me from making future goals.

 I got rid of that dress and bought me a new one. A slinky little black and white one.

 I needed a new dress for my new life.

 Losing weight did not answer any of my questions. But…it did give me the answers to some questions I didn’t even know existed. Like…how much better could my life possibly be?!

I watched one of The Biggest Loser contestants struggle through cardio last night.
All he had to make was a five minute run. That’s it. Nothing more and nothing less.
Doesn’t sound like much until you factor in his obesity. It would be like someone strapping a few hundred pound plates on me and telling me to run for five minutes.
But it was the fear that kept derailing him.
He was worried his knees or his ankles would give way.
And when Jillian asked him what the problem was, he admitted that he just couldn’t see himself as a normal size person.
And if I could get to that boy, I would tell him this. “You have to act like a normal size person long before you see yourself as one.”
I went to buy some shoes today, which meant I had to get an outfit to go with them. Right?!
I had a black pair of pants and a black shirt.
And I headed straight to the black boots I was after.
And this wonderfully sassy lady looks at me and says, “Honey. No. You’ve got to get yourself some color. Why are you getting all that black? Are you in mourning or something?”
And I wanted to say, “Hello. Fat girl buying clothes! Black is slimming you know.”
Only, I’m not fat! I just never dropped that habit.
Then I went to Wal-Mart to buy some pantyhose. And before I knew it, the plus size ones were in my hand. (I haven’t bought any in a LOOONG time!)
But when I heard that young man say he just couldn’t see himself any other way, I knew what he meant.
Because even now, I have a hard time seeing it myself.
In the beginning, I put picture of others around my mirror. I just couldn’t see myself thin.
But one by one the pictures came down as my esteem came up.
I crossed over long ago.
I put the plus size hose down, and I listened to the sassy lady and bought a splash of color. Hot pink to be exact.
And I will E-mail that contestant later today and tell him:
“Just keep acting thin. Whether you feel it, believe it or see it. It all works out in the end.
Besides…it’s really fun putting those plus size clothes back down.
And if you only reach for what you can see, you’re going to miss a lot of things. Some of the best stuff in this world is just out of sight, waiting to be found.
Keep reaching. Even if you think it’s not there, don’t quit reaching.”

I had a GREAT idea for a Blog hit me at work yesterday.
I didn’t write it down, because I just knew I would…remember…
And, well….y’all know where I’m going with this.
I have NO CLUE what it was! Not even the foggy glimpse of a clue from a distance!!
I mean to tell you, it is gone. Rattle, rattle!
So I went to the gym, thinking it would hit me again.
It didn’t.
Then I made supper.
Still didn’t come back to me.
Helped the boys with homework that I was really not capable of doing.
That surely did not help it arrive.
So I went on about my business of answering E-mails and PM’s and that mean ol’ idea never did come back.
The funny thing was, I had the pen and a sticky note right in front of me when inspiration came. I VIVIDLY remember thinking, “There is no way I’m going to forget this one.”
But I didn’t take the 15 seconds it would take to write it down.
And I depended on nothing else getting in the way of my thoughts and my actions. I mean, what could distract me at work? Right?
And what was meant to be, was not.
And the time I spent thinking about it was a whole lot longer than the time it would have taken to write it down.
Just like those times when you think about someone for so long, that actually checking on them would have been quicker.
Or you worry about something so long, getting it over with would be better.
Or…and you knew this was coming…
You THINK about going to the gym or eating clean all day rather than do it. And what could be a get in, get out, and get it done thing becomes an all day dilemma.
As my favorite shoe would say, “Just do it.” Stop thinking and start doing.
And for goodness sakes, use those sticky notes. Because it really was a good idea, y’all. (I think.)

I took a group of eleven foster kids out to dinner Friday night, and you think that has nothing to do with lifting. 

 But I know for me, this lifestyle permeates into almost everything I do. 
You see, I’m sitting across from a senior in high school. His name is Brian, and he came here be way of New Jersey by way of Honduras. 
So I’m thinking, “Wow. What brings a kid all the way from Honduras to foster care in Texas?” 
Then it dawns on me, this boy is fit. 

So I make my way over to his side when dinner is over and we are all just relaxed and visiting.
And before I can say anything, he says, “You lift, don’t you?”
I say, “Yes,” and flex my bicep for him to feel.”
His eyes light up as he says, “I know who Jay Cutler is. He’s number one in the world.”
This tells me he has seen magazines and pictures at some point, but does not have access to them now.
So I proceed to catch him up with the year he has evidently missed.
He soaks up what I am saying like a sponge. Like I am filling in the gap with answers to the questions he has been wondering.
Then I remember something and pull my phone from my back jean pocket and flip it open for him to see.
“This is a picture of me with my friend Victor Martinez. Do you know him? He grew up close to where you did in New York, and the gym is what kept him out of trouble.”
He looks at the phone and then he looks at me.
“He’s HUGE!”
And for the next few minutes I talked to him about the importance of going to the gym and how it can make a difference in his life.
Thirty minutes later, he hugged me when we parted ways in the parking lot.
I am very careful never to hug them first, because I don’t know what has brought them to where they are now. I don’t know who needs to stay distant because they have been touched too much, or who needs the hug of a mother because they have been too long without.
But I do know this; another friendship was born of the iron on Saturday evening in Dallas.
And when I come back to see him in a few months, I will come bearing a copy of MD from a few months ago with my favorite column of John’s and a stash of my favorite ISS stuff, because I know he can’t get any right now.
Because that’s what you do for a brother of iron. You lift him up, when he cannot lift himself.
And that’s why this lifestyle is good.

My youngest had a basketball game last night.

 
Seventh grade B Team.

 
He’s 4’9” and weighs 84 pounds.

 
Got him pictured?!

 
His team did not win, but it was his best game ever.

 
You see, with only two games left in the season, he scored his first goal!

 
And the boy came unglued. And, OK, I admit it. I cried. (Just a little!!!)

 
In front of my very eyes, my son turned into a basketball machine.

 
He played like I have not seen him play all season long.

 
He made more shots and passes. He found his potential.

 
And that’s because he made a goal.

 
One small goal. And that changed everything.

 
There is power in making a goal. I watched it give my son the confidence to go out there after more.

 
I set small goals all the time.

 
When I started out, I had more than 100 pounds to lose. But my goal was not to lose 100 pounds. It was always to lose five.

 
Every time I made it to a five pound goal, I was strengthened by the power of achievement. The power of knowing I did what I set out to do.

 
Big goals are good. I have them. I make them.

 
But it’s the small goals we make along the way that fuel us with the fire of achievement to make it to those big goals.

 
It’s that moment when you realize, “Wow. I really did that.”

 
Which leads you to, “If reaching that felt so good, I wonder what will happen when…”

 
And eventually it brings you full circle to, “I knew I could do it all along, and it was worth it.”

 
After all, it takes a lot of goals to make a basketball player. Even a 4’9”, 84 pound one!

One elliptical stood unused at my gym last night.
The gym was extra full, and people were actually waiting on machines. My gym is small, so this rarely happens.
I was doing a round robin kind of thing, and I was counting on an elliptical being open when I needed it.
But that lone machine stood available when my time came.
One by one people got on and then right back off. Some left, not even trying another machine.
But I noticed something; there was no out of order sign.
So when it was elliptical time, I walked over to the machine.
…and I plugged the cord back in…
…and I used it.
You see, that’s all that was wrong. There was no power. And I know y’all think I’m about to talk about where your inner power comes from, but I’m not.
Because all I could see was how easily everyone gave up.
No one asked, “Is this broken?”
I would have been happy to say, “Have you checked the cords?”
No one would man-up to the powerless machine. It doesn’t have a belt. It would have been a little rough, but it was doable. Only the timing mechanism required a plug, and there are clocks everywhere.
Some actually walked out the door, not even attempting any other machine.
But when I quietly walked over to the machine and started using it, ten people asked me how I fixed it!
And there’s no way to soften the blow, so I simply said, “I plugged it in. No big deal.”
Collectively, they groaned.
This thing we do is challenging, but it doesn’t require perfection.
I can be dead-set on doing the Arc for my cardio all day long, but have no problem doing the step if there is not one available.
I can want to do rope hammer curls, but switch to dumbbells when I realize I would have to wait for three people to work in with me.
And if all else fails, I can walk, jog, or do push-ups anywhere.
But what I can’t do is give up without a fight.
Especially when I am fighting a little bitty ol’ cord that just needs to be pushed in a little farther.
 

And I lied…one thing about that power cord.
My power to get a good workout in doesn’t come from a cord. It comes from the ability to adapt to my circumstances and make changes as I go.

Oh my gosh, I laughed so hard yesterday!

I walked in the door and see my son standing there with the look! That look that says, “I know something you don’t know…..yet.”

I knew he was waiting for me to see something, so I started wandering through the house.

The closer I got to my bedroom, the bigger his smile became.

I knew I was getting warmer!

BINGO!

As I entered my bedroom, I noticed a framed picture sitting RIGHT in front of my keyboard. I mean to tell you it was ON my keyboard.

And when I looked to see who was in that frame, I just had to laugh.

It was The Rock. God’s perfect man! And it was autographed!

My oldest son had ordered it for me from Ebay!

And we all laughed when he walked around the corner to see if I had found it!

But… he put it a place I was sure to find it.

He knows that one of the last things I do for the day is write my Blog. So that was a safe place to put it.

And my youngest son knew to have his dad drop him off at the gym the other day. He didn’t know I was there. Only, he KNEW I would be there.

We are known by what we repeatedly do.

I used to be found on the couch eating potato chips.

Now if someone is looking for me, that FIRST thing they will say is, “She’s probably at the gym.”

And I think about the things that defined me in the past…

She’s probably…crying, eating, worrying, regretting, pouting….

And I’m glad that part of me is gone.

And if you’re looking for me later, I’ll be at the gym…even thought I just went!!!

Even though I’ve been at goal for years now, I still read any and everything associated with weight loss.

I’m a fan of The Biggest Loser, so I was really excited to see a story about a former contestant when I logged in on to the Internet yesterday.

Until I read it.

It was about one of the former winners. The big winner. He had lost over 200 pounds.

Only to gain 122 of those pounds back.

But the story brought out the fact that he fell into depression once the media attention was over and people stopped caring about his loss. He said, "I started to feel cornered and trapped. I started to put weight back on, and it just continued."

And how sad that he missed the point.

Weight loss fixes nothing on the inside. YOU have to fix what’s wrong on the inside that makes you want to continually overeat.

I had a sad childhood. I’ve brought that up before. Losing weight did not go back and change that. It’s that I learned a better way of dealing, handling, and moving on along the way that allowed me to stop overeating.

Certainly people were glad for me and cheered me on.

But as far as care goes, I had to care about myself.

This many years into goal, people are just used to me at this size. I had a good year or so run in there where everywhere I went people were fascinated by what I had done sans surgery.

And I enjoyed every minute of it.

But when the cheers of what I accomplished started to dim, I was still the same person.

And years later I still eat healthy and go to the gym because I care far too much about myself to ever gain that weight back.

No one can care about you if you do not care for yourself, and that is all there is to it.

I was feeling pretty slinky in my new jeans yesterday.

I rarely shop for myself. For two years my size changed every few months, so that made it hard to spend money on new clothes. And honestly, my mind still has trouble grasping my new size. Even though I have been at this new size for, oh, three years or so now!

But by force of habit, I stuck my hands in my back pocket. I knew nothing would be there, as I had never worn the jeans.

Only, something was there.

A tag.

My immediate thought was, “You moron! You forgot to take the tag off.”

I was laughing as I pulled it out. Tags make me happy now, because the size is so much smaller than it used to be.

But my smile soon faded when I saw that is was for a plus-sized pair of stretch jeans.

And from working in retail years past , I can tell you this. Someone took several pair of jeans in the dressing room and stuck the tags in another pair. Shoplifting trick of the trade.

And then I remembered the first time my dad took me shoplifting with him. The first thing I ever saw him steal was garlic. He bought a whole buggy full of groceries, but had to steal that one thing.

And I would see him shoplift many times over through my nine years with him. I’m sure he’s still doing it now. I just haven’t seen him since I was nine.

But sometimes you have to go against the way you were trained.

I wasn’t raised to eat healthy or go to the gym.

I had no fit and healthy role models growing up and no healthy foods to choose from.

How many times do I hear, “I just wasn’t raised to eat healthy” or “We just didn’t do anything active when I was a kid.”

But just as I don’t have to shoplift, I don’t have to be unfit or unhealthy.

I am grown and can be anything I want to be.

Besides, walking away from your past burns calories.

So, I recently had a friend ask me to help motivate someone dear to him. After a few failed E-mail attempts due to address errors, I thought I would just throw something out here.

 Motivation has to come from within, but I do believe inspiration can come from someone else.

 So I was thinking, what would I tell someone I didn’t know?

 And then it hit me, I need to tell her what I would tell myself when I was in her shoes. Because I was, and I know what it felt like. I will always remember, no matter how long it’s been.

 So if I could go back, I would say….

 Adina,

 You are embarking on a journey that will change your life.

 I know you’ve tried a million times before, but this really is the time. You will make it to goal.

 As with any diet you have started in your life, the first few weeks will be filled with challenges and struggles. Chaos and stress.

 But here’s what you don’t know. If you buckle down and work really hard for just a few short months, eating clean will become second nature to you. It’s not as hard as you think. It just isn’t.

 Right now you’re thinking, “Life is too short to worry about food. I want to eat whatever I want to. It’s not fair that I can’t eat what I want to and be thin.”

 It will hit you square in the face one day that this short life will be longer if you treat your body with kindness and get it in shape. And every aspect of your life will be richer and full of meaning.

 No one is staring at you when you walk in the gym or wondering, “What is she doing here?”

 Truth is, you slip in and out unnoticed. You won’t be noticed until you learn to walk in the gym with your head up and look people in the eye; when you learn that not only do you deserve to be there, you were meant to be there.

 Stop being so defensive and look around you. Some of the people you think are there to knock you down are really the ones waiting to help you back up. And all you have to do is stretch out your hand.

 And stop wondering why so many people want to help you. This world is full of good, but it’s not where you’re looking and it’s closer than you think.

 Your whole life is about to change, and you will not regret it.

 You spent years, decades even, waiting for life to begin. Life does not stop and find you, it just allows you to realize it’s there and participate.

 Enjoy the journey, because it’s going to be one of the best things you’ve ever done.

 You will not regret one moment of it. Not even one second. In fact, you would do it all over again. It’s that worth it.

 Hang in there, because the best is yet to come.

 Adina