Adina’s Cute & Perky Blog!

From time to time I like to change my Avi.  I was looking through my pictures yesterday, ready to switch it up, when one of my favorite pictures caught my eye.
It’s definitely in my top five favorite photos!  You would see it and not think anything.  You would probably not even notice what makes it my favorite photo.  I would have to point it out.

So, I told you about going to the Europa a few weeks ago.  I told you I only had one regret.  I didn’t stop and say anything to Jen Hendershot when she stopped me to tell me I looked nice.
 
And so last night, I logged onto her site and sent her an E-mail.

You see, I couldn’t go back and fix the fact that I didn’t speak to her at the time.  But I could fix the moment from this point forward.

But did you hear that?

I can’t go back and fix past regrets.

I wasn’t the size I wanted to be at my high school prom.

I wasn’t the size I wanted to be when I got married or when I got divorced.

I wasn’t the size I wanted to be when I was pregnant either time.

And I wasn’t the size I wanted to be at my ten year reunion.

And I can never go back and fix any of those moments.  I can’t go back to any of those events.  No moment can be relived.

But while you are listening, listen to this:  I CAN fix the present, so that I won’t have future regrets.

I can’t go back to my prom or my ten year reunion, but boy did I dance the night away at my twenty year reunion.

I cannot go back and change the fact that I wasn’t fit when I was pregnant.  But is it ever fun to be called a hot soccer mom!

Wherever you are, if it’s not where you want to be…it’s time to fix it.
 
Just like with that E-mail I sent to Jen, I cannot go back and change the fact that I didn’t say anything to her at the Europa.   But when I saw a picture of her and was reminded that I missed the opportunity to tell her how she inspired me, I stopped right then and there….and I did something about it.  There will be no future regrets, because I sat down and took the time to tell her how much her words meant to me at the Europa.

Not where you want to be?  Stop.  Right here.  Right now.  Do something about it.
 
And don’t be sad that you cannot fix past regrets, because you will carve out for yourself one heck of a future that is 100% regret-free!

And that past will only serve to remind you how great your life becomes.

And that deserves a big, giant WOO HOO!!!

OK, I realize y’all are going to think I’m catty here, but I’m going to tell you anyway.

Besides, by now you have begun to realize that my mental filter isn’t on that tight anyway.

There is this guy at my gym who consistently asks me out. I don’t believe any man has ever tried this hard to get my attention. He’s given me his number. He’s left me messages. He’s gotten friends to try to help him out. He’s done everything short of riding a goat through the middle of the gym proclaiming his undying love for me.

All to no avail.

And let me tell you why.

The man has….oh, I can barely bear to say it….CHICKEN LEGS.

Chicken legs, y’all. Chicken legs.

He’s tall. He’s dark. He’s got the chest and biceps of a linebacker, and the legs any twelve year old girl would be proud to call hers.

I swear if you just blew on him from across the room he would topple over. He’s THAT top heavy.

And every time he speaks to me, all I can hear are Charlie Brown phone voices. Because my mind is just screaming to ask him, “Why?”

Why would he purposely do this to his physique? At what point don’t you stop and say, “Oh no. I better fix that.”?

But to a lesser extent, I see so many people doing the same things. He represents a package that is less than whole.

Are you lifting heavy, but not eating clean? You may not have chicken legs, but you’re not the whole package.

Do you need to lose weight, but refuse to go to the gym? Dieting without exercise is not the whole package either.

What about eating clean all day long, yet skipping breakfast? That’s not whole.

You may not have chicken legs to flaunt, but if you are not working on the complete package, it’s going to show someday, somewhere, or some time.

No breakfast? That noon time gym session won’t be what it could have been.

Dieting without exercising? You are dramatically changing the rate at which you progress.

Not eating to fuel that lifting?  Muscles aren’t built on cheese doodles.

From time to time you need to take a step back and evaluate what you are doing. See if the sum of your parts add up to a whole.

Because y’all…I don’t care how nice your pecs are, no one looks good with the chicken legs.

There is this one lady at my gym that has been going close to a year now.

I see her sweat.

I see her lift.

I’ve seen her cooler packed with healthy choices.

She is faithful to come. Week in and week out she comes.

But she has yet to lose a pound. In fact, she has gained. I would guess about twenty pounds in the last year.   So, she needs to lose about eighty pounds now.

I had been wanting to approach her, because my heart cries out to help those who need to lose. But I have learned to wait for them to come to me.

And she finally did. One day in the dressing room as I was changing she said, “I can’t wait to be skinny like you.”

(And don’t we just love being called that?! I liked her right off, y’all! I liked her right off!!!)

So, I started building a relationship with her. Waiting for the day she would ask for my help. But you know?   She never did.

So, I finally broke down one day. She was so helpless looking. Face red, heart pounding. Still carrying a book with pictures of exercise after nine months of going to the gym. And y’all, if you can make a baby in nine months, you can certainly learn enough to wean yourself from a book!

So I ask her about her plan. She tells me a little bit about what she is doing. And I say, “You know, if you ever want some help, I can tell you what I did.”

And I’m not a personal trainer. I was not offering her anything other than to show her what worked for me.

But her response said it all, “That’s OK. I’ve got this book.”

So another three months has passed with nary a change in site. And she still carries that book.

But what I take with me is this. The forty-five minutes I see her at the gym are only a small piece of her day. And it doesn’t really matter how hard you work in your time at the gym if you don’t live it the rest of your day.

I’m going to the gym today. I will spend the same amount of time there as my friend.

But I will also live it the rest of the day…and that is what makes the difference.

I live the gym life all day long. That makes my forty-five minutes in the gym count.

It’s a lifestyle people, it’s a lifestyle. Welcome to the gym.

It’s always funny to me when people ask me, “What does your ex think about you losing all that weight?”

Or… “I bet those guys wish they hadn’t been mean to you now.”

Or… “What about those girls in high school?  Those mean girls.”

You know what guys?  I did not lose weight for any of these people. 

I did not spend two years of dedicated, disciplined, hard work to walk up like a puppy wagging its tail to anybody from my past.  Not to mention, I don’t take joy in anybodies suffering.

My ex?  He doesn’t really care one way or the other.  His whole family watched me when I was on the Today Show.  We are not bitter.  They are not angry. 

Guys who had been mean to me?  Hmmm.  Nobody was mean to me.

Those mean girls?  I have no stories like that either.  As a general rule, I was kind.  So, as a general rule, they were kind to me.

This physique you are trying so hard to repair, build up, or perfect is not a gift you are making to hand over to someone else.  Nor is it a tool you are making to get back at random people from your past that irritated you.

This is something you must do for yourself. 

Sure your kids will enjoy a healthier parent and sure you’ll make for some good eye candy.  But at the end of the day you have to have done it for yourself.  You have to be happy with what you see in the mirror and that includes the mirror that looks into your soul.

You all know I started out trying to lose weight to get this one guy back.  Started.  That changed midway through.  Because it hit me, “I am running a marathon while he is sitting on the sidelines watching.  And he’s not even handing me a cup of water!”

The people I keep close to me are the ones who would run that marathon of change with me, but the person I did this for?

That would be me.  And I was worth it, and I would do it again.  Only this time, it wouldn’t take a breakup to get me started.

This weekend I will turn 39.  One year from one of those milestone birthdays.

I vividly remember my 30th birthday.  I remember it mainly because it was so unmemorable. 

I wasn’t upset to be turning 30.  Age has never bothered me.  One of those blessings in disguise.  When you grow up in an unhappy situation, every year farther from it is a victory.  Yes, all you had to do was stay upright and breathing to achieve it, but it still counts!

But I remember something else.  A decade ago at this time, I was fretting.  I had spent my entire 20’s overweight, so I wanted to spend my entire 30’s in shape.

I thought about it and I thought about it and I thought about it.  But I never did it.

Thirty rolled around and you could still roll me around.

There are things in life that should snap us into action, yet sometimes they just don’t.  I let not only my 29th birthday pass me by, but the next five years.

But that’s OK.  I can’t rewind it and go back.  And truth be known, it doesn’t matter when I finally kicked it in gear.  It just matters that I did kick it in gear.

But you know what?  There were no milestone occasions that served as the driving force behind my loss.  A bad break-up did get me started, but that wasn’t enough to sustain my progress.

I had to get to a place where I was doing this for my everyday life.  For casual Fridays and weekends with friends.  For lazy day Sundays and picnics at the park.

I had to make the connection that I wasn’t doing this to win someone back, and I wasn’t doing this for the next big event.

I was doing this because this is my one and only life, and it’s worth the effort I put into it to make it the best life it can be.

And when I turn 39 this weekend, I will not be sad.  I will not wonder how I’m going to get the weight off or even how I’m going to keep it off.  But I will wonder what marvelous things still lie ahead.  And I will enjoy my year. 

I was reminded of something yesterday by two different people on two different websites.

Twice yesterday I was asked about relationships with friends after losing the weight or going to the gym so often.

And here’s my take on it…

Where ever you started, be that as someone who needed to lose fat, gain muscle, or get in shape, we all have one thing in common: we all started out as a person who did not go to the gym and eat healthy and turned into someone who did.

WE are the ones who changed.

We used to be the “fun” ones. The ones who would eat out all the time.

The ones who would go to the movies and eat buttered popcorn and drink real coke. REAL. Not the diet stuff.

We used to eat with reckless abandon. We didn’t scour labels. We didn’t speak in terms of macros. We spoke in terms of macaroni.

You hear people all the time give out this piece of advice, “Don’t marry someone thinking they will change. People don’t change.”

Bur…WE did.

We started out unhealthy and became fabulous.

We are the ones who left our friends thinking, “What happened?”

They liked us and accepted us just as we are. And we have to remember that.

I have to keep in mind that my best girlfriend lost a big chunk of her life when I found mine. She didn’t use to worry about what she ate around me. She didn’t have to think about not going to the gym. Health and fitness were not a part of who WE were. Now it is inseparable from US, because it is MY driving force.

She is lonely for the person I used to be…while still proud at the same time. She does love me after all. Without a doubt I know this.

Today might be a good day to contact an old friend and let them know that even though you aren’t around anymore, you still love them and you’re still there for them.

They just don’t have to know that you’re calling them from the gym, between sets, while sipping from your protein shake!

I’m going to call mine.

Someone asked me what other days we celebrate at my gym besides Old School Shorts Day.  So, of course, that means I have to tell you.

We have:

I forgot my shoes, so I must lift in flip flops day.

I have no workout clothes free from holes day. 

I know the sign says no children in this area, but mine don’t count day.

I can wear these clothes one more time before washing day.

I can’t wear this in public day.

I REALLY need a sports bra day.

Load the squat rack full and do three 2 inch squats day. This one is my personal favorite!!! 

Funny little man doing yoga day.  No, this one is my favortie!

He-man day.  Every gym has this one though.

People who are not in shape hand out fee advice day.  Gotta love that one!

What days do you celebrate at your gym?