The Whole Package
OK, I realize y’all are going to think I’m catty here, but I’m going to tell you anyway.
Besides, by now you have begun to realize that my mental filter isn’t on that tight anyway.
There is this guy at my gym who consistently asks me out. I don’t believe any man has ever tried this hard to get my attention. He’s given me his number. He’s left me messages. He’s gotten friends to try to help him out. He’s done everything short of riding a goat through the middle of the gym proclaiming his undying love for me.
All to no avail.
And let me tell you why.
The man has….oh, I can barely bear to say it….CHICKEN LEGS.
Chicken legs, y’all. Chicken legs.
He’s tall. He’s dark. He’s got the chest and biceps of a linebacker, and the legs any twelve year old girl would be proud to call hers.
I swear if you just blew on him from across the room he would topple over. He’s THAT top heavy.
And every time he speaks to me, all I can hear are Charlie Brown phone voices. Because my mind is just screaming to ask him, “Why?”
Why would he purposely do this to his physique? At what point don’t you stop and say, “Oh no. I better fix that.”?
But to a lesser extent, I see so many people doing the same things. He represents a package that is less than whole.
Are you lifting heavy, but not eating clean? You may not have chicken legs, but you’re not the whole package.
Do you need to lose weight, but refuse to go to the gym? Dieting without exercise is not the whole package either.
What about eating clean all day long, yet skipping breakfast? That’s not whole.
You may not have chicken legs to flaunt, but if you are not working on the complete package, it’s going to show someday, somewhere, or some time.
No breakfast? That noon time gym session won’t be what it could have been.
Dieting without exercising? You are dramatically changing the rate at which you progress.
Not eating to fuel that lifting? Muscles aren’t built on cheese doodles.
From time to time you need to take a step back and evaluate what you are doing. See if the sum of your parts add up to a whole.
Because y’all…I don’t care how nice your pecs are, no one looks good with the chicken legs.
September 11, 2008 at 3:46 am
I really enjoyed reading your blog. It was exactly what I needed to listen to this morning. So So true! Thanks very much and have a wonderful "complete" day! Best, BBDiesel
September 11, 2008 at 5:18 am
Errr… What the heck is a cheese doodle? O.o
Maybe get this shirt (for yourself or him) and he’ll get the hint: http://t-shirts.cafepress.com/design/13696319
September 11, 2008 at 11:08 am
Awesome blog Adina. I see several guys at my gym doing the same thing. And trixter, I love that shirt. Just ordered one for myself. Hillarious!
September 12, 2008 at 8:55 am
"all I can hear are Charlie Brown phone voices"… That’s awesome… Can I steal that expression please?
September 13, 2008 at 4:17 am
That is soo funny, but only becaus he obviously isn’t trying to build up his legs, because then it would be mean. Whenever my husband gets a little too cocky & I want to mess w/him a little, I tell him his calves are looking smaller. Now he has really good calves, I think his build is actually quite proportionate but when I say that he gets all insecure & starts looking at them from different angles. It’s quite ridiculous!