A Little Rain
Into each life a little rain must fall.
I felt like I lived in a hurricane for years.
I wandered through life as if I was helpless to make changes.
Depression led to binging. Binging led to overeating. And overeating led to depression. It was a cycle. I let the small storms in my life fester into a full blown monsoon.
No date on Friday night? I ate a cupcake.
Too much month to go with my money? That deserved a Ho Ho.
Stubbed my big toe? No gym this week.
Had to lift three boxes for somebody else at work? That was biceps. No reason to go to the gym now.
When I was out of shape and overweight, I let the little showers in my life become big storms. I lived in the rain. I sat at the window on clear days waiting for that rain.
I actually searched for excuses to justify my lifestyle.
Y’all! I lived like it was raining every day. I sat in my living room wearing goulashes and a raincoat with a white-knuckle grip on my umbrella.
But life is not about surviving the storm is it? It’s about dancing in the rain.
Sure, into each life a little rain must fall. That’s a given. But I had to learn how to journey out into the rain to make it to where I wanted to be.
No date on Friday night? I went to the bookstore, which is where I kindled my true love for this sport.
Too much month to go with my money? Jogging is free, y’all. Think how much money I saved in Ho Ho’s alone.
Stubbed my big toe? I don’t have to use my toes to work upper body. Unless I’m doing preacher curls. Sometimes when I want to lift really girl-heavy on those, I take off my shoes and curl my toes around the base. Yeah…I want it THAT bad.
Had to lift three boxes for someone else at work? I tell them thank you for allowing me to burn a few more calories.
And I no longer search for excuses to justify my lifestyle, because I am happy with the path that I have chosen.
And I have learned how to dance in the rain. Funny that once I learned how to, it doesn’t rain nearly as much.
August 30, 2008 at 10:02 am
Adina, I have been swallowed up by a tsunami and I am struggling to reach the surface. I am however, doing the things I need to do to make sure I do not sink any further. I am not loving my situation, but I am doing the things to make sure I do not go back to old habits! I too was an emotional eater. I really look forward to reading your blogs…they lift my spirits and help me face each day and continue to do the things I need to do in order to not become the self-loathing fat guy. I still have work…and that will continue once my elbow heals!
August 30, 2008 at 6:33 pm
I love reading your blog! It gives me a little boost every time I need one!