Two Classmates by the Pool
Well, I certainly had a great time at my reunion! It’s so good to reconnect with people after that many years.
When the official reunion was over, we branched off into small groups at various places. I ended sitting by the pool at my classmate Stacie’s house talking another classmate, Helper. (Yeah, that’s a nick name. But it’s a nickname that stuck tight!)
We were discussing the fact that he was celebrating 12 years of sobriety and being free from his addictions. And we were actually comparing what he had gone through to my battle to lose the weight and keep it off.
When I expressed my total amazement at TWELVE YEARS of being clean and on track, he shrugged his shoulders and nonchalantly said, “I think what you did was harder.”
To which I said, “No way. What you did was TOTALLY harder. I never had to give up what I was addicted to. I still have food. Every day I get to have some. While you never get to have what you were addicted to again.”
That’s when he stops me and says, “No. You don’t understand. What you did is harder because you DO get to have it.”
Then we compared the 12 Steps he had gone through to the process I had gone through to lose weight and get in shape, and yeah, they were very similar. Conquering an addiction of any kind goes back to some very basic steps, no matter what your addition. And Helper and I both view admitting you have a problem as a big obstacle keeping so many people from making it through to the other side.
But it struck me as we were sitting there by the pool that both of us believing the other has done something far harder than ourselves was also key to our success too. Because if you think that what you are going through is the hardest thing ever done by anybody and that nobody has it harder, you are dooming yourself for failure.
While it may be the hardest thing you have ever done and even the biggest struggle you currently face, there are so many things harder.
You see, I could look right next to me and see someone who had gone through harder. I remembered my friend has lost his sister years ago in a car wreck. Then we could both look to the pool and see Stacie. A few months after we graduated she lost both of her parents in a plane crash. Harder.
Getting to the gym, lifting, and eating healthy is not the hardest thing anyone has ever done. It’s a manageable struggle. It’s a conquerable feat.
And in the end, we were just two classmates sitting by the pool. Twelve years sober and two years lean. In respect of the battle each had conquered.
July 27, 2008 at 7:10 pm
Adina, I wanted to address this statement. "But it struck me as we were sitting there by the pool that both of us believing the other has done something far harder than ourselves was also key to our success too. Because if you think that what you are going through is the hardest thing ever done by anybody and that nobody has it harder, you are dooming yourself for failure."
AMEN AMEN AMEN
I have been through some small health challenges. 4 cancers. Going through them I had to refer to them in my mind as Small Challenges especially the double mastsectomy. I would never take that away from someone else nor belittle what they are going through byreferring to their challenge whether it is health or otherwise but I had to do that to myself. A big challenge could defeat me but Hey a small challenge was a breeze!!!