Adina’s Cute & Perky Blog!

Dieters are watched.  Let’s just face it.  When we know someone is on a diet, we watch them.  Some of us watch to cheer them on with encouraging words.  Some of us watch to see the moment of failure.  The precise moment that donut in the break room will push them over the edge.  Some of us watch them out of sheer, morbid curiosity.

I was watched along the way.  It went in stages.  First, people were watching to see if I would fail.  Then people were watching to see how far I would go.  Then, when I had reached a point where people could tell I was going to make it to goal, people were watching too see what I did.  How I did it.

What I did not know was how much I would be watched AFTER reaching goal.  I am watched more now that I ever was before. 

I worked a booth for my gym yesterday.  Just kind of an expo thing where vendors set up and people shop and eat.  My before and after magazine story was blown up and big on display for passersby to see.

I had spent probably twenty minutes of my morning talking to the lady in the booth next to ours.  She needs to lose about 100 pounds.  We went over diet, exercise, nutrition in general.  I gave her as many tips I could in a short amount of time.

After four hours there, I decide to take a break and get the best food choice available.  I came back with a beef sandwich.  No chips.  No fries.  No coleslaw or potato salad.  Not even a drink for goodness sakes.  The second I sit down to eat it, the heavyset woman from the booth next door snidely says, “Is that on your plan?”

I say, “Yes.  No chips.  No fries.  No coleslaw or potato salad.  No coke.  I can have a sandwich without going off plan.”

Then I began to notice.  All the heavier people who I had spoken to through the day were coming by one by one to see what I was eating, and to ask me if it was on plan.  You see, they would feel better about the bad food choices they had made if they could catch me off plan.

People watch.  For many different reasons.  No matter what stage of the game you’re at, people will watch you.

They say you can’t have your cake and eat it too.  I learned today that I can have my cake, because I would rather look at it than eat it!

Oh, it was a BEAUTIFUL cake.  Chocolate.  Chocolate icing.  White icing roses.  A beautiful cake for a beautiful friend.

I don’t really remember the last time I had a piece.  This was one of those times where I felt compelled to join in.  Didn’t want to stick out.

I let my friend cut me a piece.  I used to be an icing freak!  Loved the stuff.  No matter how big the piece or how thick the icing, I could eat that cake!

Well, today, after at least a year sans cake, I learned something.  I can no longer tolerate it.  It was too sweet.  I was only able to eat two bites with icing.  I was trying to pick the cake bites without icing.  I didn’t really have a tolerance for the plain cake either.

And as I write this, that little sliver of cake I ate has given me a stomach ache.  You can’t put junk in your body after eating so healthy for so long and think there won’t be a consequence.

But, in a way, I’m glad.  The stomach ache is a reminder of what I used to be.  It’s a reminder of why I eat the way I eat.  It’s a reminder that healthy food makes life better from the inside out! 

So, I CAN have my cake.  I just can’t eat it!

I’ve been reading in the forums a lot lately about people feeling they are alone in their journey to lose weight or build muscle.  You know, I think it all comes down to statistics.  We have finally reached a point in American where over half of the population is overweight.  Now, I don’t know the exact statistics on this, but I know of the number of people who try to lose weight or build muscle, the vast majority fail.  Of the ones who make it to goal weight, a number of those will gain their weight back.

So, if you are in the midst of achieving your goal, you are part of an elite group.  If you have maintained your weight loss, you’re part of an elite group.  If you have the BMI of a competitor, you are part of an elite group.  Do not think you are going to find another like yourself on every corner.  And for Heaven’s sake, don’t let the fact that you cannot find one derail you.

Don’t look for people to understand what you do.  You are in the minority.  If there is a weight loss partner to be found, grab them, but understand when only one of you is left.  You are a minority working toward becoming part of an elite group of people. 

I had numerous partners along the way.  Most of them quit the battle before they won the war.  There are times when the Battle of the Bulge will be fought alone.  That simply means the spoils of war go to you, and only you!

People tell me all the time that they cannot afford to diet.  Healthy food is just too expensive.  Gym membership is just too costly.

Once someone gives me this excuse, I generally watch them for a week or so.  I want to be prepared in case there is a second opportunity for me to motivate them to eat healthy.  I never approach them.  I always wait for them to come to me. 

By watching these people, I have learned that fast food, Starbucks coffee and lunch out every day are apparently free and do not count in budgeting.  While health food and gym memberships must be strictly accounted for.

You see, invariably, the ones who tell me they can’t afford to diet are the ones who eat out, buy coffee, smoke, etc… The list is never ending.  It’s funny how a smoker WILL find the money for cigarettes, but is penniless when it comes to buying a can of tuna or paying a gym membership.

I have one friend who eats out for lunch and breakfast every single day, yet will swear she cannot afford the foods I eat or the gym I go to.  My gym is $25 a month.  My food for the week is less then hers for a few days. 

Of course, I remember thinking this way too.  But I also remember sacrificing to make goal.  I remember giving up a movie here or a lunch out there to make sure I could pay my gym membership and buy my healthy foods.

For the sake of my health, my happiness, and my well-being, I learned that I really could afford to diet.  In fact, I couldn’t afford not to.

A strange question I get a lot is how did I have the courage to show my before pictures. I find this to be comical. To me, the more courageous thing would be to try to tell someone how to lose weight without showing them! My words don’t mean as much without those photos. It’s one thing for me to TELL you I lost 121 pounds. It’s a completely different thing for me to SHOW you I lost 121 pounds!

We obese and former obese people are funny about pictures anyway. It’s hard to find a full body shot to even use as a before photo. When my friend Jason, who I lovingly refer to as the Exercise Nazi, challenged me to get in a magazine, finding a before photo proved difficult to say the least.

Oh, I found lots of head shots. There were a million shots of me peeking over, above, around, or from behind various objects and people. Very, very few full body shots. You see, if I saw myself in a picture, I had to actually face my size.

Even at my heaviest weight of 256 pounds, I could stand in front of a mirror and angle myself just right as to only see the best angle. People with cameras aren’t so kind. After all, the surprise, candid photo is so much more fun then the behind the kids pose. It’s like snapping a photo of someone sleeping in the car with their mouth open. It’s just that when you’re big, every photo is an open-mouth disaster.

The first time I showed my photos to the guys at the gym, I could literally feel my heart racing. My head swimming. The red hot color of embarrassment slowly covering my entire person.

I remember E-mailing them to my friend John. I didn’t want him to see me as any way but pretty, but yet I wanted him to know where I came from. Why I ate so healthfully. Why I exercised like I did.

The reactions were not what I thought. The Nazi told me, “Those are bound to make the magazine.” He wasn’t repulsed.

John told me, “Wow. But you don’t have to send me anymore!” OK, not quite repulsed!

My friend Kevin had the funniest reaction. He called my gym to find out what surgery I had had. He’s still paying for that remark, because I did not have surgery. Thank you very much, Kevin!

The gym guys were amazed. They asked if they could post them on the wall….to give people hope. And that is why I show my before pictures. They give people hope.

When I approach a heavy set person at the gym who is struggling, I can point to that picture and say, “That was me. There were days I struggled too. But if the girl in that picture can do it, so can you.”

And that is why I post my before pictures. However, you will NEVER see that picture of me pregnant, wearing a bikini!!! THAT would just be wrong!

My day started with a bang yesterday when paintedgrrl sent me a message that she had seen me in FitnessRX for Women.  I knew I was down to be the December Success Story, and I knew it was soon to come out… but I hadn’t told anybody.  I didn’t really think anyone would know about it unless I told them. So it was just extra fun to find out it was out this way!

Today has been so much fun!  My bosses and coworkers were so excited.  I think my gym buddies were happier than I was.  My kids too!  It’s been so much fun.

To me it’s just another reminder of the little benefits here and there that come your way if you choose to lead a healthy life!  I mean, imagine, just because I decided I could be a normal size girl, I get all the fun of being in a magazine!

It’s true what they say….good health is a gift you give to yourself!

It’s funny how when you lose a lot of weight, obese people have to give you their reasons for not being able to diet.  I hear them every day, yet I never ask for them.  I mean, I have never walked up to an obese person and said, “Why don’t you diet?”    Yet people who have seen me lose the weight, or seen my before and after pictures, feel the need to tell me why they cannot diet.

I have a few favorites:

“I tried that diet, but I was hungry.”  Hmm….you can’t abuse your body for years, decades in my case, and think you won’t have a few hungry days.  But being hungry won’t kill you.

“I just have so much going on in my personal life.” Hmm…are there two kinds of life?  A public life and a personal life?  Last I checked, it took me the same amount of time to eat a protein bar as it did to eat a Twinkie!

“I come from a dysfunctional family, and I eat to stuff my feelings.”  Hmm…my family put the FUN in dysfunctional!!!  I haven’t seen my dad since I was nine years old.  When you eat to stuff your feelings, you are really just letting the ones who hurt you win.  It’s that simple. 

“I’m happy like I am.”  Hmm…then why do you need to justify yourself to me without my asking?  I was happy at a size 26, yes, I can admit that.  However, I’m ECSTATIC at a size 8!

“I don’t have time.”  Hmm…you have the same 24 hours I do.  You just choose not to give up your lunch hour or two sitcoms to exercise.

I had to get rid of my excuses to find success in weight loss.  None of the above was my personal excuse, they’re just the ones I hear the most often. 

My personal excuse?  “I have always been heavy, even as a child.  I would never be small anyway.”  Hmm…wonder if that was true?  My size 8 pants tell me no!

I have decided that I can’t win everybody over to my healthy way of eating, but I can at least make them see my side of things.

When you first switch over to healthy eating, you are bombarded with junk that people throw in your face or leave at your desk.  In the beginning, if I left my desk for even a second, I would come back to brownies, cookies, cake…  You name it.  It’s amazing how that Cake Fairy can sneak in and out without you even noticing!

I actually had coworkers who would hover, just waiting to see it I would break down and eat.  They would even go so far as to tell me I HAD to eat what they left.  I HAD to.  Now let me just tell you this: the surest way to get me NOT to do something is to tell me I HAVE to do it. 

Little by little over the past two years, or maybe one by one, I should say, my coworkers have learned not to bring me treats.  Not to try to get me off track.  I think maybe they got tired of seeing their hard work go in the trash.  Because that’s what I had to start doing.  I would sit down and throw it in the trash.  (Only if I had already politely refused what was left for me.)  I figured my saying no should have been enough.

This morning brought about a new chapter.  My boss walked in with two sacks of Halloween candy and set them next to the uneaten treats someone left for me yesterday.  He said, “I brought you two.  One for each boy.  Because I figured there was no way you would eat any.”

And I emerged victorious!!

A fat girl’s ace in the hole when taking a picture is to stand behind whoever is in the picture.  If you stand in just the right way, you can make nothing but your face appear in the photo.  If you stand behind, and look directly up to the camera, you can make a few of your chins disappear!  I know this.  I was an expert at this. In fact, when my gym asked for a before photo, I had to send out an all call to get one.  I literally had no pictures at my house that showed my body.  (And I’m not saying that like it’s a bad thing!  I was 256 pounds for Pete’s sake!!) 

Well, last night being Halloween, I had my mom use my cell to snap a quick shot to send to my friend.  I stood behind Jonah, not to hide, rather to let him be the focus.  I mean, it was Halloween after all!  A day for kids.  I had to laugh when I looked at the picture.  I disappeared!  I can’t stand behind people in pictures anymore, because that look I used to strive for, I got by accident last night.  I was just a head… 

….and I worked far too hard to hide behind anybody!