Adina’s Cute & Perky Blog!

So, I was walking in the gym yesterday and was stopped by the gym manager with this question, “Adina, the glass is half full or half empty.”

He was giving this knowing look to his friend, as if he knew which answer I would say.  You see I’m perky.  Cut me and I would bleed daisies.  Really.  I’m annoyingly perky.  With that said, he was waiting for me to say “half-full,” because isn’t that what perky people say?  Isn’t that our calling in life?  To remind people that it’s ALWAYS half full.

But my answer surprised him.  I walked by, glanced down at the, OK, half full protein shake and said, “Who cares?  Drink it.”

You see, that’s the problem.  We think far too much.  Some things don’t require thought.  Especially in fitness.  You just do things.

I have seen so many people think themselves right out of a diet.  For days they walk around thinking and planning rather than doing.  They are mentally exhausted before they even start. 

I have seen people with pencil and paper meticulously charting and planning fitness goals.  Again, planning so long they never actually start.  They frustrate themselves.

I’ve seen people start elaborate grocery lists for these elaborate diets they are thinking about starting.  They never start, because they overwhelm themselves with the thinking rather than the doing.

I’ve seen people at the gym get half the workout in twice the time because they think too hard.   They look for empty machines and try to find the perfect two machines open at the perfect times.  Then they come to a complete standstill when someone else gets on one of their machines.  All because they MUST go by the chart they thought out.

Fitness is not about thinking.  It’s about doing.

And let me tell you the perky girl’s secret.  Sometimes it’s half full and sometimes it’s half empty.  If it’s medicine, it’s half empty.  It’s almost gone!  If it’s something I like, it’s half full.  I have a lot of it left to go!

Whether it’s half empty of half full….don’t think it, just drink it!
 

I rewrote the words to “Twas the Night before Christmas,” in honor of my bodybuilding.com buddies!
 

Gym Night Before Christmas
 

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the gym
Every creature was stirring, lifting weights, moving pins!

The street clothes were hung in the lockers on pegs,
While friends were at parties with cheat food and kegs;

The children were restless while waiting to go home,
Surely on this night, they would leave the gym alone;

And mamma in her tank top, and dad in his cap,
Were spotting each other to prevent a mishap,

When over in the corner there arose such a ruckus,
They finished their set and went to see what the fuss was.

Away to the noise, they strode in that direction,
Only stopping once or twice, to peer at their reflection.

The sweat on the chest of the now-benching man,
Shown bright on his pecs with his pre-contest tan,

When, what to their wondering eyes they did see,
Santa Claus in gym shorts, his eyes filled with glee,

Ready to get healthy and seeking a trainer,
It was obvious our Santa was not a hard gainer!

More rapid than sprinters he started his training,
Our Santa’s a grunter, they all heard him straining;

“Now, biceps! Then, triceps! Now, glutes, calves and thighs!
On, Ben-gay! On Advil! The pain in those eyes!
 

To the back of the gym with barbell he plunges,
Down for the first set of dreaded walking lunges!”

As dry whey and water when tossed in the blender swirl,
Santa heads to the machines to give cardio a whirl,

So up to the treadmill the jolly man stepped,
Ready for running, so psyched and so pepped.

And then, in a instant, they heard on the mill,
The huffing and puffing, the sound of his will.

As they reached to adjust the speed to help him get through it,
Santa gasps, “Don’t. I know I can do it.”

His clothes were now sweaty from his head to his toes,
The last thing on his mind now was packages with bows;

His trainer now faced him and feared there’d be riot,
It was now time to discuss with Dear Santa his diet.
 

His eyes now grew dimmer from what he was hearing.
In fact, some would say they thought they were tearing.
 

His sweet, sweaty face now started to frown,
As trainer said cookies and milk to put down;

“They’re fine for a treat every once now and then,
But simply can’t be had every house you walk in.”

He had a broad face and abs that weren’t showing,
So, he shook his head, for he was now knowing.

Still chubby and plump, but now armed with a plan,
They all laughed together, when cookies he banned;

A wink of his eye and a snap of his finger,
Soon made them know that he must not linger;

He spoke no more words, but went straight to put clothes on,
Returned in full Santa Suit; soon he would be gone,

And giving a small gift to each sweet child there,
Acknowledging that seeing him at the gym was, well,  rare;

He sank to his sleigh, with muscles full of acid,
Now paying the price for letting them go placid.

But they heard him exclaim, as he lifted to the sky,
“Merry Christmas to all, I’ll work on my B-M-I!”
 

Adina Zanolli

I started to title this blog entry, “No one ever died from being hungry.”  I decided against that as there are people in other countries who do.  But that’s the thing.  We don’t even recognize true hunger.  We recognize the feeling of an empty stomach, but that is just an inconvenience.  That’s not true hunger.

I like to think of that empty feeling as my body burning away fat.  If I’m hungry and not immediately feeding that hunger, my mind tells me I’m dropping some more pounds.  Just a little mental game I played with myself along the way.  My friend Carolyn does this too, so I know I am not alone in this.

I have a friend who needs to lose about 200 pounds.  Yes, 200.  She knew me at my biggest weight of 256.  She has seen me lose over a hundred pounds, yet she never asks me for help or advice, not on diet anyway.  We had one conversation about dieting.  She said she tried a diet for a few days one time, but she gave it up.  She said, “I was hungry.”

And so I was thinking, maybe that’s the big secret everyone looks for to unlock the mystery of dieting.  If no one has told you this secret, let me be the first one to tell you: THERE WILL BE DAYS YOU ARE GOING TO BE STARK-RAVING, NAW YOUR ARM OFF HUNGRY.

That’s the secret.  Some days you will be hungry.  It doesn’t mean you’ve done anything wrong.  Think about a smoker giving up cigarettes.  You don’t think they want one the next day?  Of course they do.

If you are eating over 5,000 calories a day and you cut it to 1,800 you will experience some hunger.  Of course you will.  Your stomach will shrink, but it won’t shrink over night.

But there is good news.  If you push through it, it really and truly doesn’t last very long.  For me, any mind you I lost over 100 pounds, the intense hunger lasted a few days.  Moderate hunger lasted about two weeks.  But at the end of two months, I was NEVER hungry.  There were days I had trouble getting all my requirements in.

Learn to embrace that feeling of the empty stomach.  It’s telling you you’re doing a good thing for your body. 

So that’s the secret: some days you will be hungry, but it won’t kill you.  I promise!

It was so nice to get back to the gym and my normal routine today.  I think holidays are good for reminding me that I truly do love what I do.  A few days off from the gym was OK, but I missed it every day.  Every single day.  The food was great, but it just didn’t make me feel like my healthy food makes me feel.

When I walked into the gym today, I had that “I’m home” feeling!  I made the decision to go ahead and take a few days off over the holidays.  I think it was good for me.  My body just didn’t feel good.  It is used to being pushed to the limit, not pushed to the table!

I was sitting at my desk today and noticed a dull ache between my shoulder blades.  I had forgotten that feeling.  It’s a feeling I used to get a lot…yet I had somehow forgotten about it.  I didn’t even realize that regular exercise made an every day ache go away.  I felt like my muscles were screaming….urging me to get my booty to the gym and release my work tension!

I had two days of really good food over the holiday.  It was all good.  Yet…it didn’t make me feel energized and ready to go.  It made me feel lethargic and ready to nap.  It took the healthy glow from my skin.  It made me feel heavy and bloated.

My normal, every day food may not be exciting, but my body does get excited by it!  It fuels me to workout and just enjoy my day in general.  It makes my skin and hair strong.  It leaves me feeling light.

Thanksgiving way great….but boy I’m glad it’s over.  I missed me!

“From not to hot” was the phrase MEDICO6 used when adding me as a friend yesterday.  I laughed when I read it.  I have heard a lot of comments from people viewing my before and after photos, but I had never had it put quite this way.

So, I got to thinking about it…not about the HOT part!  About the NOT part! 

I am NOT confined to a table anymore.  I can fit with ease in a booth.

I am NOT desperate for attention anymore.

I am NOT a people pleaser anymore.

I am NOT as nice as I used to be! 

I am NOT afraid to go…well…anywhere!

I was NOT afraid to send my story into the magazines to consider for publication.

I am NOT afraid to follow my heart.

I am NOT afraid of rejection based on my size….or anything else for that matter!

The choices I make are NOT directed by my size.

I am NOT a 256 pound couch potato!

I do NOT hesitate to find a gym anywhere I go.

MEDIC06 was right.  I was a NOT.  I was NOT living life to its fullest.  I was NOT enjoying it the way I should have.  I was hiding underneath a 121 pound blanket of fat…

…and I am NOT doing that anymore!  Really…I’m NOT!!!

It is amazing how losing weight has affected my life.  I don’t even walk in the room the same way anymore.  I had a lady at the gym ask me recently how I was able to walk in with such confidence.  She said I was the only one she knew who walked in to the gym with my head up, looking everyone in the eyes. 
 

That’s a far cry from where I started.  At 5’5” and 256 pounds, you don’t walk in a gym looking anyone in the eye.  It takes all you have to walk in, period.
 

Confidence was an unexpected benefit of weight loss.  But so were a lot of things….

I can cross my legs.

I can go to a restaurant and not worry that people are staring to see what I order.

I can fit in a booth.

I can walk in unnoticed.

I can walk in noticed!

I can enjoy an outing with my friends and not care where we eat or even if we eat.

I have a lap for kids to sit on.

My kids are proud.

More people listen when I talk.

More people open doors for me.

More doors of opportunity open for me.

In all aspects, from every angle, my life is better.  It’s amazing what losing weight has done to my life.  Friends that I have not seen in a while don’t recognize me when I pass.  But that is OK, because I don’t recognize my life!
 

I had such a great day yesterday, and food had absolutely nothing to do with it!  Food was just there.  Oh, there was lots of it, and it was good.  Yet the fact remains that food had absolutely no part in my good day.

This is HUGE for me, no pun intended.  Thanksgivings Past told a different tale!  Even just three years ago I could not get to the food fast enough, and food was the Central Part of whether or not I enjoyed my day.  After all, it’s a day where even skinny people eat too much and, there are not so many judging eyes on the fat people in the room!

I eat six times a day.  Anywhere from 200 to 300 calories of good clean food at a pop.  I have eaten this way for probably two years now.  My body is used to this.  For me, a gorge is 400 calories at one of my meals.  When you eat this way for this long, you are not really capable of over indulging at a holiday meal.  Oh, you will eat things that aren’t on plan, but you won’t eat too much of it. 

So, I had my best Thanksgiving Day ever yesterday, because I discovered it really wasn’t all about the food.  It was about family.  It was about friendship and fellowship.  It was about having a place to go and feel warm and loved.  It was truly about being thankful of where you are in your journey through this world.

For me, it was also about being able to blend.  Two years ago I was still big, so I worried that people were watching what I ate.  I worried that I was the biggest person in the room (I was.)  Last year, I was still learning about maintenance.  I worried that a holiday meal would send me back down the path to 256 pounds. 

This year, I was just a girl enjoying Thanksgiving Day with all the people she loved the most….and it was a great day!

As I’ve mentioned on this site before, I am the Success Story for the December issue of FitnessRX for Women.  My story was about Thanksgiving Dinner two years ago, so I thought it would be good timing to paste it here. 

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“It’s a lifestyle, not a diet.”  Oh, how I used to hate that phrase.  A phrase uttered by countless skinny girls with flat stomachs and perky little behinds. 

I was never skinny, little, or athletic.  I thought you had to be born that way.  I did not realize that from the time I was nine, I consistently made choices that led me into becoming the 5’5”, 256 pound woman that I was.  I assumed some people were born with the genes that let them wear the jeans they wanted!  I was just not one of those people.  The lucky.  The genetically gifted.

I did lose weight twice in my young years.  I knew what it was like to be thin, even if only for a moment.  It’s just that I never dealt with the reasons that made me overweight in the first place, thus the weight flew back to my thighs like a homing pigeon back to base!  I firmly believe that until we deal with what makes us overeat, we cannot heal ourselves from the disease of obesity.

I decided to try the route of the pre-packaged meals.  I dedicated myself to give two months without cheating, and an amazing thing happened in those two months.  I learned what a portion size really was, and I never ate the same way again.

Thanksgiving Day marked the end of the two months, and I was ready to cheat.  I filled a plate to heaping, fully intending to eat that and go back for seconds.  However, my body was now use to regular portions, and I could not eat even a third of what was in front of me. 

Next came the chocolate pie.  I had waited two months for this moment.  I took the generous size piece that had been cut for me.  Slowly I brought the fork to my mouth, wanting to savor this moment.  The shock of the sweetness made me shudder.  Me!  Surely this could not be so.  I took a second bite, just to make sure.  That was all I could eat.

I had been worried that a day of cheating would get me off track.  Send me spinning into a spiral of self-destruction.  However, the next day I woke up craving my healthy food.  The heavy food of the day before, although certainly delicious, left me feeling bloated and lethargic.  My new smaller portion sizes of good food leave me feeling energized and alive.

Along the way I also started going to the gym.  I knew from research that we lose six pounds of muscle a decade after age thirty.  Compound that with dieting, and I knew I had to get to the gym.  I am proud when people say I don’t look like someone who lost a lot of weight.  Lifting moderate weights shaped my physique so that I look like I have always been this size!

Yes.  The journey was long, but so worth it.  I have become one of “those” people who can proudly say, “It’s a lifestyle, not a diet!”

So, today was a stressful day for me.  One of those days when nothing goes as planned.  I learned something about the food and stress connection, though.  For me….IT DOESN’T EXIST ANYMORE!! 

Woo Hoo!!!

The morning started our stressful.  Well, OK, last night ended stressful.  I did not eat.  Actually, food never crossed my mind.  The stress moment occurred after my last meal.

I don’t have very many stressful days, so I haven’t really had one since I have been un-fat!  I used to eat when I was stressed.  A LOT!

So, when I woke up stressed this morning, I just knew I would eat something bad for me.  I had toast…wheat bread toast.

Three hours later…I had a handful of raw almonds and one of those 100 calorie snack pack things.

Three hours later, I was still stressed.  I ate a turkey sandwich.  This is what I would have eaten regardless.

Three hours later…OK….that means segue to now.  I am not stressed.  Nothing changed in the situation that caused the stress.  It’s just that not eating allowed me to feel the pain rather than stuff it and get it over with faster. 

I didn’t stuff it!   I allowed myself to feel it and deal with it!   And the quicker you actually deal with something, and let yourself feel it, the quicker it is over.

I guess everyone has some coping mechanism.  I mean alcoholics do.  They drink and never allow themselves to feel. 

I feel good for a day that started out so stressful.  Yet another battle with food has been won.  And I feel good!

Happy Almost Thanksgiving!

Yesterday I wrote about people watching me eat.  Well, today I have noticed how much people think I watch them eat. 

It actually started yesterday.  At that same expo I was working for my gym.  The very same people who asked me if what I was eating was on plan got so embarrassed when I walked by and saw them eating.

The lady in the booth to my left actually apologized for eating.  Mind you, she doesn’t even have a weight problem.  Her kids and her husband do though.

The person in the booth to my right hid her food from me.

The person three booths down ducked every time she took a bite. 

Mind you, my before and after photos had been blown up to 11×14 mini-posters.  You could not walk by the booth without seeing my loss history.   People who didn’t even talk to me made polite apologetically intended gestures, removed food from their mouths, stuffed food in bags, handed it to others…. the list goes on.

Thing is, I would not have noticed what any of these people were eating had they not been so dramatic about it.   Most would probably be surprised to know how little food crosses my mind.  When I weight 256, yes, I thought about it all the time.  121 pounds later, I view it as fuel.

Unless someone specifically asks my opinion, I don’t tend to notice what people eat.  Food no longer rules my life.

I enjoy a life free from the entrapments of food addictions, and it makes me sad to see so many others who do not.  But the bottom line is this:   I do not watch what others eat, because I do not like them watching me!