Adina’s Cute & Perky Blog!

I realized today that this was my second Halloween as a normal size girl!  Wow.  I’m not sure really when I reached goal.  I didn’t note the date, but I distinctly remember being normal this time last year….relatively speaking, of course.

It’s funny what a year brings.

The scale has not moved in a year, yet the jeans I wore last year can be removed without unbuttoning…even though no one is!!!

The candy we passed at the festival at church was a constant temptation last year.  I gave in last year.  This year, I have been eating so good for so long that I didn’t even want anything.

Last year I felt the need to show off my size.  This year I was good with blending.

Last year I worried that I would gain my weight back.  This year I know I never will.

Sometimes change is good, but sometimes remaining the same is better!

I get a lot of private messages from people asking me if I have loose skin.  I gather from the questions I am asked that my picture has been studied pretty closely by people in search of the answer!

Here’s the answer.  A little.  I have a little.  But would I still do it again knowing I would have a little?  Of course, I would.  Does a size 8 look better than a size 26 no matter what amount of loose skin?  You bet it does.

I think that the problem with being hung up about the skin factor is that in most cases, you are looking too far down the road.  It’s like reading the end of a book first.  If the ending is good, you already know it.  If it’s bad, you dread reading it.  You have a lot of living to do between now and reaching goal.  In my case, it took almost two years to lose my weight.  I would hate if I had put my life on hold for two years.  I had a lot of fun along the way.  At every size.  Regardless of my skin!

I have lost 121 pounds, so you could say that I have had some measure of success.  I did not start day one by wondering if I would have loose skin.  In fact, I faced it and assumed that I WOULD have some.  I mean, I abused my body for most of my adult life and I don’t think there will be a price? 

If I could give one piece of advice to someone with a lot to lose who is worried about lose skin, I would tell you to focus on the first ten pounds.  If you have 100 or even 200 to lose, don’t focus on the lump sum, focus on the lump!  The first lump weighs ten pounds.  Do something about that first.  I guarantee those first ten pounds won’t leave you with loose skin.

Focus on a manageable goal.  Thinking too far down the road will lead you to failure and is actually a crutch you are allowing yourself to use.  Put the crutch down.  Get those first ten pounds off and then reevaluate the situation.  I did so every ten or twenty pounds.  If you get fifty off and can tell you are headed for loose skin, you can stop.  No one is going to hold a gun to your head and force you to lose to the point of loose skin!

Every pound you lose is a step in the right direction.  Worry about the loose skin when or if you get there.

So, here’s a quirky little thing you need to know about me:  I have not bought new panties since losing over 100 pounds.  121 to be exact.

Yeah, I know.  You’d think they would fall off, but they don’t!  I bought the girdle kind when I was heavy.  The kind that made me look like I was a sausage stuffed in a casing, just waiting for that fork to pop me.  They were slimming, you know!

My friends make fun of me for this.  Of course, they do.  I even have three friends on panty patrol.  They know if I am in a wreck that they need to bring me new panties.  I can’t be carted off to Glory, or even the hospital in my current panties. 

Unbelievers have even had me raise my shirt to show how high my panties reach.  I’m telling you, it’s not pretty.  I’m not bragging.  Just stating the facts!

Well, I have finally conceded that I need new panties, even though I recently broke my own personal best jogging trail time due to my big girl panties.

You see, I like to jog at a local trail.  It is a six mile trail.  You park your car.   Jog three miles in one direction and three miles back.  It’s great.  I love it.

Well, about 2 ¾ mils into the run, I hear my panties say, “Uh huh, girl,” as the final bit of elastic they once had gives way.  So, I clench my cheeks to hold them up, thinking, I am just too close to the 3 mile mark to turn back now.  As you can well imagine, this was certainly a mistake.  I mean really, if your panties fall off, should you really keep jogging in public?!

I made it to the 3 mile mark, and this time, I hear my panties say, “Oh HELL no,” as they slide past my cheeks, getting stuck at the crotch, of course, creating little curtain like side pockets under my sweats.  I was just thankful I wasn’t in shorts.  Have mercy!

So now, I’m three miles from the car, but parts of my panties are only 2 ¾ mile!  What’s a girl to do?!  Well, let me tell you.  I ran like there was no tomorrow.  I made the skinny people in the little running shorts look like they were standing still!  It’s amazing the things you can do when you have to!

The panties and I made it back to the safety of my car, where this time they tell me, “We told you so.”

So, I decide to text my friend, John.  He knew the panty situation well.  So, I send him a message that I THINK says, “OK, you were right.  I need new panties, I was jogging and my panties fell off.”

Only, T9 language being turned on, I actually told him I was “logging and my panties fell off.”  Times like these, you find out how fast a man can really text!  “What the hell is logging?” was the very fast response I received! 

You see, he’s one of the ones on panty patrol.  I’m sure he was worried it was time to bring me some new ones!

So, I got in my car, slid my panties the rest of the way off, and went to the store.  Yes, I went panty shopping with no panties. But, I emerged victorious!

I have new panties.  They fit.  And I look good in them!  But….they’re too pretty to jog in!

I’ve gotten a lot of comments lately about how much happier I look now.  I’ve been thinking about that a lot.  I mean, does losing weight make you happier? 

I no longer scan every room I am in to see if I am the biggest person there.

I no longer wonder what would make an attractive guy talk to me.

I can take the steps with ease.

I can walk the long distance from where I park my car to where I enter the football game without being winded or sweaty….or even red-faced.

I can order whatever I want and not worry what people think.

I am not defined by my size.

My flirtations are returned.

I am no longer defined as the “fat mom.”

I can be as noticed or as unnoticed as I choose to be.

I can just be.  And I am happy.

Losing weight did not necessarily cause my happiness, but it did make a bigger smile on a slimmer body.

Some say the very definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results.  I guess I saw an insane person on my way to pick up my son from church last night.

It was dark.  It was cold.  But this man was out there walking.  Like he always does.  He walks.  He walks, and he walks.

I’ve seen him in the day time.  In the night time.  In the heat and in the cold.  I’ve even seen him in the rain.  BUT….I’ve never seen him sweat.  I’ve never seen him lift.  I’ve never seen him eat healthy foods.

I guess he’s what you call a casual walker.  Oh, he wants to lose weight.  He has commented on my weight loss before.  He needs to lose about a hundred pounds.

But all he does is walk.

If he would use that same amount of time that he gives to walking, and pour it into something else……biking, jogging, lifting……

But he walks.  Every day.  And the results are always the same.

So I went to a party this weekend.  It’s funny how fitness is so much at the forefront of my life now.

At the first party, I was a guest of a guest.  I did not know more than two or three people there.  But by the end of the evening, everyone knew I had lost more than 100 pounds.  My friend told one guest and it just snowballed from there.   I like it though.  It’s a great opportunity to get to talk to someone who needs a little encouragement.

The second party was at my best friend’s house.  I got to see a bunch of people I had not seen in about a year.  Of course, they had a million questions.

I spent both parties huddled in corners talking to people about fitness and nutrition, and I could not have been happier!

You see, this marks the first party season that I don’t have to worry about what I wear or how I look.  I don’t have to scan the room to see if I’m the biggest person in the room or worry about how I look in a Halloween costume or a little black dress. 

Just the fact that I can even call it a LITTLE black dress is great!  I mean, when I was a size 26, the term “little black dress” was an oxymoron at best! 

It’s so freeing to have my weight under control.  It such a good change to look forward to a party. 

People ask me all the time if I get tired of the questions.  And you know, I can honestly say I do NOT.  It’s become who I am.  And I am happy. 

And I look good in a little black dress!

There comes a time in every former fat person’s life when they realize they have worked hard, made it, and can ease up a little. Easing up a little has actually been the hardest part for me.

It’s hard to relax and realize you don’t have to be so strict.  So tough on yourself.  That it’s OK to relax and have a drink here or some party food there.  There’s this little voice in your head that tells you you’ll go back to what you were.

There is also this little voice in my head that tells me that if I don’t relax a litte, just a little, my kids will see diet and nutrition as something unattainalbe.  Something that rules your world.  Something that normal people can’t do.

So, I was faced with two Halloween parties this weekend.  Not being in any kind of contest preparation and being in a normal BMI range, I decided this was the weekend to relax.  To let go of my fears and ease up so my friends can see that I still relax and still have fun.
I made no stops to the special store and brought no protein powder or bars with me.  I decided I would see what it was like to walk back to the other side.

I still had my normal breakfast on the first day.  I just like it.

Three hours later I was ready for a snack.  I stop into a gas station en route to my friends house in Dallas.  I spent 20 minutes reading labels.   I was craving something healthy.  I ended up with a small bag of beef jerky and an apple.  I just like having healthy snacks.
Three hours later it was lunch time.  Five thousand fast food places to choose from.  I get a turkey sandwhich and baked chips.  I just like it.

Three hours later I have to stop by WAl-Mart.  I am almost at my friends house and need one more thing for my costume.  I decided it would be rude to walk in wanting a snack, so I grabbed a protein bar there.  I just like them.

Three hours later we were at the party.  I intended to load a plate full of my favorites, but she had turkey stew.  So, I got that instead, because I like it.

I learned something over the weekend.  I no longer eat the way that I do because I have to.  I do it because I like it, and maybe that becomes my focus now: teaching my children that living healthy IS living good.

I have heard the same phrase over and over again lately, “You have to have that.”

The “that” can refer to any number of things.  It’s been nachos, onion rings, birthday cake, cheese cake, funnel cakes.  Yeah, I have a cake thing! 

When I go to a party “that” is usually an alcoholic drink.

You see, when I am feeling like cheating, I talk it out.  I will tell whoever I am with at the time that I feel like having “that.”  Nine times out of ten the person I am with will tell me I have to have “that.”  Fat people tell me.  Thin people tell me.

I have a good friend who needs to lose about 200 pounds.  We were going to get burgers at a place that serves the best onion rings.  I told her on the way there, I want them, but I’m not going to order them.  She said I HAD to.  When I did not order any, she did.  She said, “I’m going to order them so you HAVE to have one.”

The funny thing is, this is always counter productive to the people telling me this phrase.  Tell me I HAVE to have something, and I don’t care how badly I want it or who it saves from sudden and immediate death, I will NOT have it!

The people in my closest circle know how hard I work.  You almost become like a diet super hero when you lose as much as I did.  People are looking for your Kryptonite.  If they can find it, and wave it in front of your face, they can eat poorly without guilt.  They are free to self-destruct.

Any Super Man fan knows that Super Man does not willingly put himself in the line of Kryptonite.  He avoids it, and he certainly doesn’t HAVE to have it.

I am going to two parties this weekend.  I know I will hear this phrase, but I’ll also be prepared, because I do NOT have to have THAT!

A friend sought my help yesterday.  We rode to an out of town meeting together.  It was just the two of us, so we had time to talk.

It was a busy day yesterday.  In fact, it was so busy that I asked my friend Johnny if I was a weirdo, because I had time to either eat or exercise, and I chose to exercise!  Of course, I knew to ask the one person who would say this was OK.  He’s buff, so I knew he would support my need to exercise!  He said to just drink a protein shake afterwards.

I was literally still on the treadmill when I asked Jason to make me a shake.  I walked out of the door drinking my shake armed with a protein bar to eat later.  I figured there would be no healthy options at the meeting, and I was right.  I was also prepared.

But back to the ride with my friend….

She was intrigued to know how I had lost weight.  She said she was ready.   She wanted to make a change. 

We stopped by a gas station to get gas.  I grabbed a diet coke and a granola bar after meticulously reading label after label to find the best one.  She got three sugary snacks and a coke.  They were gone before we reached the meeting. 

She indulged at the meeting with fried foods and another soda, all the while insisting to me she was ready to do what I had done.

On the way back home, another trip to the gas station.  I got a bottle of water to consume with the other half of my protein bar.  She got an economy size bag of chips, candy bar, and yet another soda.  I don’t even remember the last candy bar I consumed.  I really and truly don’t.

The ride home was filled with more questions about my weight loss, between bites of chips, of course. 

You can’t ask a question about someone’s diet with your mouth full or chips.  That would be rude.

So I went to the gym today during lunch, as I almost always do.  I usually jog outside, however, the rain kept me inside today.  Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE jogging in the rain.   It’s just that I had to get back to work.