AKmuscle49’s BodyBlog

I thought I was going to die. So I dragged my ass out of bed 525 this morning and headed for the gym. So much in a daze I didn’t see the bull moose across the street until I about backed into him. He didn’t seem to mind and just snorted at me while chewing on a twig.
So there I was at the gym getting my "bike" into position thinking, I must hate myself. On the bike the pain instantly came back. If you’ve ever done a spin class your "taint" area suffers a lot. Well mine was still sore from Fridays torture session. Side note- I think my instructor on Fri was like 6 months pregnant yet still kicking my ass.
So I sit uneasily and begin to warm up at 0605. 0610 we begin. Not too bad I think I’m getting used to this, although I might need some local anesthetic for the "area" connected to my seat next class. As we ramp it up I begin to feel the pain. At 8 min I want to stop this crazy train and lay on the floor and wait for medics or a priest. Which ever one shows up first. I figure pain is weakness leaving the body or cancer either way I’m screwed so I keep pedaling. I really don’t know what’s worse my instructor who I think hates us (me specifically) or the super cheesy techno from the "Now That What I call Music 19,343" cd. So not only are my legs on fire but my ears are now bleeding. Hell I figure somewhere between the pain is a zen like place I can go to. All I can come up with is death or purgatory, but I’m not Catholic so I lean for death.
As we descend into the 3rd circle of hell we reach the 30 min mark. I am quite dizzy but I think that’s blood reaching parts of my body that hasn’t seen oxygen in years. I am now a human saltwater sprinkler and the pain in my "area" is no longer an issue. I figure I got this! I figured wrong. I’m thinking sweats might have been a bad choice. But then again so was exercising but one thing keeps me going. Stupidity. I ponder for a moment, this must be Lance Armstrong’s warm-up routine. I will probably have a dream tonight that he is my instructor. At 48 min we are "done", 3 min of cool down and I think I am home free. Nope, we need to do some yoga to stretch afterwards. Ever done yoga when you have 0 energy left? That is tough! Try to get out of a stretch, its like trying to run a mile after squatting 400lbs. I don’t want to be that guy who needed a rescue team when he couldn’t get out of his hamstring stretch so I sucked up what little energy I had left and pulled it together. What I didn’t realize is I now have to walk down a flight of stairs to get to the lockers. WHY do we not have an escalator? I put a death grip on that rail as I walked down the stairs with 2 cheese sticks for legs. I made it! I have a little thank God I didn’t make a scene party in my head and head to the locker room to see if I left my dignity in my backpack.
I can see why they only do it Mon/Wed/Fri. There are only 2 people ever who could do it 5 days a week, one is Lance Armstrong and the other is Jesus.

Anyone want to go to "class" with me on Wed? Starts at 0600!

This entry was posted on Monday, January 12th, 2009 at 2:08 pm and is filed under Training. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.