Life, Diet, and Competing
Hi All,
Thank you to those who stop by and read my blogs….today is a carb day and I am so happy…Two no carb days is hell! Well not that bad….I’m trying to stick to my diet amidst life stressors, not so happy days, and trying to keep my mind right. I will admit it’s hard….life has has so many twists and turns you never know what curve ball it may throw at you. It’s harder when the curve balls being thrown are painful. I understand life isn’t always fair and it’s about how you react/deal with these curve balls but damn it gets hard.
All in all I’ve still been training….how I don’t know….maybe this is God’s way of showing me this is what I really need to be doing….despite what goes on in my life positive or negative, I always make it to the gym….and I fight my way through the tears….well not all of the time…have you ever seen a chick in the gym crying and lifting weights simultaneously?…come to my gym and you just might see that from me….yes I’m serious. I’m still sticking to my goal to compete in October….my diet has been off…and I don’t mean I’m eating any and everything….when I get sad and/or stressed, I don’t eat….and I don’t sleep as well……right now I am sitting here trying to eat my lunch of chicken breast, brocolli, and yams and I’m not feeling it….well at least I ate something.
I was given a reality check earlier this week….I was told I was insensitve and harsh at times….Well, this was news to me…So I decided to call up a few of my friends and an ex to see if this were true (we don’t always see ourselves as others see us)….and the running theme was YES I can be this way at times…I felt/still feel dismayed that I didn’t recognize this about myself….and it makes me wonder who have I hurt with my insensitivity and harshness (I & H ). I can honestly say that sometimes my I & H was not intentional and sometimes it was….
Past experiences, past hurts, personal failures, and fears has unknowingly shaped me into this ice princess. So now the question I present to myself is "How do I move past this and utilize this new found information to make myself better?" I don’t want to be known as the pretty girl who has the hard exterior….I’m not trying to push people away because of my demeanor….nor do I want to my past experiences to hinder me from being the woman I continue to grow into….
I understand it’s a process. I know I have to forgive myself and others and lastly I have to be PATIENT! So in search of making myself better I have purchased Reposition Yourself: Living Life Without Limits by T.D. Jakes…..The first 5 chapters had me in tears….in the process I am getting back to me…too many times I exert energy in efforts, in people, things, ideas, etc all while starving myself….not a good thing….the keys is BALANCE, BALANCE, BALANCE!! Without this balance of spiritual, mental, and physical healthiness things go crazy….trust me I know…..so wish me luck on rediscovering me again….
I will leave you with this:
How you climb up the mountain is just as important as how you get down the mountain. And so it is with life, which for many of us becomes one big gigantic test followed by one big gigantic lesson. In the end, it all comes down to one word. Grace. It’s how you accept winning and losing, good luck and bad luck, the darkness and the light. —Philosphy: Amazing Grace
August 27, 2008 at 8:02 pm
Wow, deep post! Thank you for your honesty and courage! Our past experiences (good and bad) help define us; they define who we are, as well as who we will be. Embrace those experiences, and when you can, turn the negatives into positives. At least you are willing to self-assess, and you are honest and open about your experiences! YOU WILL SUCCEED, we are all works in progress. Trust in the Lord, and give your problems and worries to HIM - He will solve them for you!