So I took my measurements today because I haven’t since I first started a profile on bb.com back in Sept. While writing the numbers down I realized that I managed to get myself right back where I started by slacking off for the last three weeks. I’m feeling a mixture of anger, anoyance, and embarrassment because of it, but I only have myself to blame. There’s no reason to sit around and cry over it though. It just means that it is time for new goals and renewed dedication to my own health. The goals I want to achieve physically can be  found on the goal tracker on my profile. I decided to use the date of the Arnold Classic for my goals so I can look fabulous while walking around the expo lol.  To help me along I will be utilizing all aspects of bodyspace, so look out for a lot more blogs, progress pics, and all that jazz. Here’s to 2008, Cheers! 

Bad Food + Alcohol = One very uncomfortable holiday. Now I remember why I turned into a ‘health nut’ in the first place. I know y’all are the only ones who will understand me. Pray that this icky feeling will go away and that I will no longer yield to peer pressure.

Just a couple of days separates me from being home and I’m so excited. I’m packed except for a few toiletries, ticket is printed, Ipod is charged. I’m not gonna lie to y’all. There will be cookies. There will be alcohol. There will be no counting of calories or macros and that’s the way I want it lol. I will however not eat myself into a stupor. Even though my eating has not been the best for the last couple of months, I have learned when to stop when I’m satisfied. Mi madre lives across the street from a track so I will be there at least two out of the three mornings I’m home. That’ll keep my body from forgetting what exercise is. Also, she always has a new workout dvd to check out so I’m good. So Merry Christmas everyone, take the time to enjoy family and friends and send a couple of thank yous up to the Big Guy for letting you see another year.

I’m happy that I haven’t gone up, but I’m still not going down. Of course I have my random dessert cravings to blame for that (see the previous blog) so I have no room to complain. I have one week and some change before I go home, and I know I’ve vastly improved since the last time I was there back in June, but I don’t know how much you can really tell in clothes. I think I’m gonna scale down my carbs for the next week and keep it all clean. That will keep the balloon-belly at bay, and even if I don’t look dramatically different, I know I will feel it.

So, I’m starting to recognize a pattern with myself. Whenever the whole fitness thing is going well, ie. I start dropping a few lbs and the muscle definiton begins to kick in, it’s like some sort of flip switches on and I start to do things to sabotage my efforts, like eating sweets. I’ve never been one to really even crave desserts after a meal (or any other time for that matter) and yet I keep picking them up. It’s like I will only subconciously allow myself to get so far before I retreat to my old ways and I can’t figure it out.

Since I know this is what’s happening, I’m trying to put all my efforts behind resisiting it.  I need to eliminate the word trying from my vocabulary. I will resist it. There is no excuse. Time to reevaluate goals and surround myself with motivation. Luckily everything I need is right here on bb.com. Lol. They should pay me for that last line

until Christmas Eve and my glorious return back to the Lonestar State. I’ve gotta be smokin when I get back home because everyone knows I’ve been doin’ my thing in the gym. I wanna say that I will be cheat free until that time, but I think a better option for me would be to stick to my calorie allowance and incorporate the goodies in. (And no I won’t get all my calories from cookies, although that would be nice lol) This means of course that I have to regulate every piece of food that enters which I’ve been finding out in the last few days isn’t that difficult. Even when I decided to eat out, there are certain places I will go because I know the menu and what I can have. This lets me enjoy company without agnozing over food and that my friends is a blessing, especially given this time of year.