I wish I had confidence right now…
You know, I wish my mind would just make up how I am going to feel. Mentally, I am ready to get on stage just so the 16 weeks of prep time will finally be over, but then I look at myself and I think there is no way I am and a half weeks away from being ready to get on stage. I think I need another 16 weeks!
But then other times, I look at myself and I am ready to get on stage that day. I psych myself out as to who is going to be on stage with me and how I am going to measure up to all those girls. I am just ready to go out and rock it this season. Ask me 5 minutes ago and I would have been ready and I may be ready again in 2 minutes, but right now, I still feel like I have so far to go. Is it going to be possible to get my body fat down 2% in the next 2 weeks?
My fiance is moving in with me this weekend, my bachelorette party, a work awards ceremony and my drug test are next weekend, and the following weekend is the first show, then the weekend after that are 2 more shows and then I am getting married. Gulp.. Can somebody please stop time so I can breathe here? How do I keep pushing with so much going on?
I mean as it is, I am already missing 2 mid-dy workouts and a training session this week. Tomorrow is my work shower and then Thursday I have an appointment on lunch, then Saturday Brad is moving in and I can’t abandon him to train in the morning with the group. Not that I won’t get there, because I will. I will be there probably at 6 am doing my thing and I puhs when I’m alone, almost more than I push with a group, so it’s not like I won’t be working out, but then I feel guilty because I am missing trainer time - you know? How does one juggle it all and what’s more important right now? Show prep or wedding???? One of them is obviously bigger and more life changing than the other…
I guess these next 2 weeks will be insane. Insanity with an insane figure competitor. Perhaps I should write a book on it all!
March 18, 2008 at 6:44 pm
Ahhhh….that’s easy Wendy. Show prep is but for a ‘few minutes" of stage fame. Wedding memories will remain deeper in the heart for a long long time.
March 18, 2008 at 6:55 pm
Hey Wendy! Hang in there!! Your going to do great at both!! Your body is looking amazing!! And I think you are being too hard on yourself!! You look PHENOMINAL!! And you look like a Figure Competitor!!!
Breathe!!! Try to find away to relax and enjoy all of the craziness a little! Maybe if you try to look at it from outside looking in…you will see just how awesome your doing and see a little humor in the whole process!!!
March 18, 2008 at 7:10 pm
Wendy–you do not give yourself enough credit–I don’t know anyone working harder than you right now. You ARE first place material–believe it, because I do. You are so close to that finish line–it is all mental at this point. Keep your head in the game–no one is stronger mentally/physically than you right now. You are your biggest critic. I seriously cannot wait till you step on that stage–Just being able to listen to your journey is awe-inspiring. You will conquer this–stay strong
March 19, 2008 at 4:44 am
thats been me since feb, up down up down, mostly its mental all of it, the diet, the determination, the discipline, just think of how much more ready you are NOW than last year.
i will be your biggest fan, right along with being dee’s lyns, and jess’s !! you all will rock!!
4 shows? are you doing all 4 even the one at the high school the small one?
March 20, 2008 at 7:02 pm
wendy….you have come so far…you deserve to be on stage and will be there competing… really competing…. focus on getting the most out of the moment you are in and all the extra moments leading up to the shows and your wedding will shape your path….you are almost there!!