A figure competitor’s path

I have hitmy lowest body fat ever on stage and I am 5 weeks out from my show. Apparently I have been doing something right because Terry took some pictures tonight and I am really pleased with how they look. I am WELCOMING feedback. Please - by all means!

I have hooked up a deal with a new gym to go on my lunch hour now at least 3 times a week so that starts tomorrow. Perhaps we will see some real changes then in accompanyment with the new diet? I guess we shall see. 5 1/2 weeks left.

Terry gave me a new diet to follow yesterday. Very simple, mainly consisting of chicken and veggies, egg whites and protein powder and brown rice. But the good thing is that I get 7 meals a day. That way, I am hoping I won’t get too hungry between meals anymore.

It feels like it has been so long since I have had a "real people" meal. You know, like a burger or even chicken and mashed potatos and rolls. How I miss my carbs. Plus, it has been an entire winter without hot chocolate. Who does that? I miss it a lot. Terry told me I could have some when I hit 128 this week. But it took me almost 3 weeks to go from 130 to 129 so I wonder if I will actually make the 128 mark this week. Now don’t get me wrong, the new diet may be just what I need to jump start me, so you never know, but I am pretty smart and smart enough not to think that this weight is just going to fall off easily. Oh well. Guess I just gotta keep going.

Know what though? I’d rather do it through diet than crazy spastic 3 a day workouts. I am doing 2 a day right now, which hasn’t been too bad, but I am hoping that I can keep it up without adding the third. I do have a friend who owns a gym and he allows me to use the gym on my lunch hour, but I am trying to not have to do it. I get so tired. It’s getting to the point that I have trouble just getting through a workout. Not that I am complaining, because I’m not. I’m strong and I can do this, but I do get tired…

The workouts become mental now. I actually talk myself through sets. Only 8 more, even if I know that there may be more sets to come, but it’s mental at this point. Truly mental. I think the first thing I am going to do (after the cruise of course) is go buy a nice loaf of cheese bread or something - oh and a dozen bagels. Yum!

You know, when I look in the mirror, I actually like what I am seeing progressing. But how is it that when the camera takes the picture, I hate what I see! I can’t stand to look at the pictures after they have been taken. I just think I am so bottom heavy. My legs are leaning out little by little, but I need to do something to make them leaner. Then I just wonder if it is geetics that makes them the shape they are.

You know, If I look at my progress pictures I can see a difference from time to time, but I just don’t see myself beeing where I want to be. So at what point do I look in the mirror and like what I see?

So low carb brain got to thinking yesterday and I have decided that I may resemble a noodle. Sometimes I look at myself and I feel like I look so buff and then sometimes i look at myself and I decidedly look like a noodle. Long and stringy. Especially next to other people. You know, everyone’s body is different, but how do you not compare yourself with the guy next to you?

You know, I know I may not be the most muscular woman out there and to be perfectly honest, I don’t really want to be overly muscular. I want to be lean and fit with nice round muscles and a nice shape. But then I think perhaps I am not big enough and there’s something that I could do differently or better but there isn’t. I am who I am and I can’t compare myself against everyone else, right? Becuase if I do then I wonder who the heck I am to even be getting on stage.

Know why I am getting on stage? Because I believe I have a shot. Most of the time i believe it. Sometimes though, I wish I wasn’t so critical of myself, it’s always negative, never positive. I stare at everyone else wondering if they have something I don’t have. Why is that. But here’s the even bigger question, is my negativity toward myself fueling my desire? If I thought I was good then I guess I wouldn’t still be pushing to be even better right, so the negativity is good????

 Ugggh - I do wish I could like what I see though. Oh well, like I said in my previous blog, it won’t end until I put the suit on, get the hair done and get up on stage. And i have to do everything in my power to make sure that I am there in the best possible shape I can be in. Otherwise all this is for naught and I don’t want this to be for nothing.

Did any of this blog make sense to anyone, because I can’t even be sure it made sense to me! Oh well, sorry. Not going to try to edit it, just dumping thoughts I guess. 3.8% body fat to go. Think I can do it in 6 weeks? I do!

I know, I haven’t been on in quite a while and I’m sorry. Did anyone ever realize how freakin busy life gets 6 weeks from a show and 8 weeks from a wedding? Yeah, that’s right, I get married 8 weeks from tomorrow. But getting through the shows has been top on my mind and my fiancé has been absolutely amazing through it all. My body fat is down again, not by much, but enough to keep me plugging along. I know I am not nearly there and I count my lucky stars that I still have 6 weeks to go. But this is also where it gets interesting. Couple things have been happening lately. First and foremost, this point has become purely mental. The meals and the workouts and everything is mental now. I have to actually psych myself up for a workout and talk my body through each and every exercise, but I get through them. Next week, I am going to start 3 a days some days, I am usually doing 2 a day at this point, so I will be adding in a 3 a day, lunchtime workout now. I have a small gym that I am friends with the owner and he lets me use it to slam out some cardio on my lunch hour. I usually go over for 30 minutes and then shower and get back to work. I am not going to do that 5 days a week though, probably just 3. I need somewhere to work up to if I have trouble continuing to lose soon. But what’s neat is that every day, as I start to lean out just a touch more, I see things I didn’t see yesterday. Like a small muscle coming out in my leg or a new vein in my arm. The problem is, or maybe it’s a good thing, I’m still super critical of myself and I am NOT at all happy yet with what I see when I look in the mirror. Oh yeah and lighting and a tan make all the difference. In my bedroom, my legs look good, in the mirror at the gym, they don’t. But as I am getting a tan, that’s definitely helping. Well point is, I am 0.3% higher than the lowest body fat I have ever been and I am probably at least 1% lower than I was on stage last season. And I know I won’t see the whole package wrapped up until April 5th when I put the suit on and I have the tan and everything, because that’s when it finally comes together for me. The tan and the suit and the hair and the makeup and the stage lights, it all makes it all real. I am just so thankful that there’s still 6 weeks to go because I feel like I am going to need every single day to get to where I want to be.

So I had the morning off of training with my figure coach, Terry Stokes. He took the day off which in turn gave me a free morning. I had a strength workout yesterday morning and then went back in for a fat burning cardio workout last night. So this morning I was faced with the decision to get up and go to my own gym or catch up on som emuch needed sleep.

I chose sleep, and I’ll tell you why. It wans’t an impulse decision, it was actually a strategic one. I figured if I slept in a bit this morning, I will have more energy to go balls out at the gym tonight. When I do 2 workouts a day, theytend to both be a touch more moderate. This way I will get a crazy workout in the evening. Make sense, it did to me, but I know by training standards, it would have been better to work out twice and get my metabolism working in the morning and in the evening. I’m not overly upset with my decision, I really felt I needed the rest, but I do feel a touch guilty about not going. I’ll definitely make up for it tonight though. What do you think?

Here’s what really happens in the mind of a figure competitor and why competing really gets so hard. 

16 weeks out from the show: “Whooo Hooo! I feel so fat, I can’t wait to begin the diet! I am going to be so so perfect this season! I can’t wait to see the fat melt off!” 

When I started my diet this season, nothing could deter me. I had holidays in there, I started diet mid December and didn’t touch but maybe 3 Christmas cookies. I had new years in there and a few birthdays and I just kept plugging away. When everyone else was eating pizza, I was eating chicken and celery… 

11 weeks from the show: “OK, so I am feeling a bit hungry between meals and now I want to go to bed so I don’t sit and think about food at night. But I am thrilled with the weight loss and watching the scale go down every day!” 

I am still losing weight steadily and the diet is paying off. Yay! Though it gets tough at night because now the diet is a little lower and if I think about food too much, I may actually drool a bit on myself… 

Super Bowl Sunday. “OK seriously, who didn’t cheat?” 

Why should this day be any harder to get through than all the other holidays? Because our bodies are low and feeling tired and that pretzel looks like God put the best piece of food on earth right in front of you and he said, “go ahead, just have a taste…” Oooh how that pretzel was so delicious. And that chip and that brownie and that roast beef sandwich and that… yeah – you get the picture… did I mention Rice Krispy Treats? Damn, up 5 lbs from water weight. 

9 weeks from the show. “Why the hell am I doing this again? Oh yeah – that’s right 1 lb is 1% body fat. I can do this, I can do this, I’m pretty tired though. But on the other hand, I can count my abs…” 

So 1 pound at this point is proving to be about 1% body fat. And food is looking better and better every time. Training is getting harder and harder, not just the amped up workouts, but the fact of even getting the motivation to get in the gym… Until you train with people who you just think look better than you and then you resolve again to push and push. 

7 weeks out. “Too tired to move!” 

My body is rebelling and I don’t even want to stand up to go to the bathroom, which I am doing a lot because I am so hungry so I am drinking water all the time to curb hunger. I don’t have the motivation to work, or even pee at this point and it is a hassle to even drag my butt out of bed. But I know that my body isn’t where it needs to be and I need to keep pushing. 

I have people I train with telling me they want to quit and I tell them to keep plugging, but who am I to tell them that when almost every day at this point I think about quitting. And I have an out too. I am getting married in 9 weeks and all I need to do is say training is too much with the wedding so close, but then they win… Everyone who doubted me wins and I won’t have that. Because, I am not a quitter. I won’t stop now. 

I am going to make myself proud and everyone who trains me or with me proud. I can do this because I am strong and hardworking… 

Did I mention I’m tired too? So so tired. Damn, I think I gotta pee again! Uggh!

Here’s what really happens in the mind of a figure competitor and why competing really gets so hard. 

16 weeks out from the show: “Whooo Hooo! I feel so fat, I can’t wait to begin the diet! I am going to be so so perfect this season! I can’t wait to see the fat melt off!” 

When I started my diet this season, nothing could deter me. I had holidays in there, I started diet mid December and didn’t touch but maybe 3 Christmas cookies. I had new years in there and a few birthdays and I just kept plugging away. When everyone else was eating pizza, I was eating chicken and celery… 

11 weeks from the show: “OK, so I am feeling a bit hungry between meals and now I want to go to bed so I don’t sit and think about food at night. But I am thrilled with the weight loss and watching the scale go down every day!” 

I am still losing weight steadily and the diet is paying off. Yay! Though it gets tough at night because now the diet is a little lower and if I think about food too much, I may actually drool a bit on myself… 

Super Bowl Sunday. “OK seriously, who didn’t cheat?” 

Why should this day be any harder to get through than all the other holidays? Because our bodies are low and feeling tired and that pretzel looks like God put the best piece of food on earth right in front of you and he said, “go ahead, just have a taste…” Oooh how that pretzel was so delicious. And that chip and that brownie and that roast beef sandwich and that… yeah – you get the picture… did I mention Rice Krispy Treats? Damn, up 5 lbs from water weight. 

9 weeks from the show. “Why the hell am I doing this again? Oh yeah – that’s right 1 lb is 1% body fat. I can do this, I can do this, I’m pretty tired though. But on the other hand, I can count my abs…” 

So 1 pound at this point is proving to be about 1% body fat. And food is looking better and better every time. Training is getting harder and harder, not just the amped up workouts, but the fact of even getting the motivation to get in the gym… Until you train with people who you just think look better than you and then you resolve again to push and push. 

7 weeks out. “Too tired to move!” 

My body is rebelling and I don’t even want to stand up to go to the bathroom, which I am doing a lot because I am so hungry so I am drinking water all the time to curb hunger. I don’t have the motivation to work, or even pee at this point and it is a hassle to even drag my butt out of bed. But I know that my body isn’t where it needs to be and I need to keep pushing. 

I have people I train with telling me they want to quit and I tell them to keep plugging, but who am I to tell them that when almost every day at this point I think about quitting. And I have an out too. I am getting married in 9 weeks and all I need to do is say training is too much with the wedding so close, but then they win… Everyone who doubted me wins and I won’t have that. Because, I am not a quitter. I won’t stop now. 

I am going to make myself proud and everyone who trains me or with me proud. I can do this because I am strong and hardworking… 

Did I mention I’m tired too? So so tired. Damn, I think I gotta pee again! Uggh!

So in addition to going to my personal training gym with my figure coach, Terry Stokes, I also go to a regular old gym which I also frequent when I am doing my cardio. I go in the corner and set myself up with my weights so I can do my crazy bootcamp workouts.

Well today, I was back in my corner and I could feel everyone watching me. I can see everyone in the gym from the mirror and there were groups of people who were working out, lifting etc. Well there was a group of guys who were just watching me like crazy - I think it’s because I was making a crazy fool of myself with all these jump squats and push-ups and shoulder presses.

Then some guy comes up to me and asked me where I learned to do the 300 workout. Which was apparently the workout all the cast did to get in shape for the movie 300. I said it wasn’t exactly that but he said it was pretty close and that I was doing well with it.

You know, in a sense, it’s unnerving to have people watch you like that and on the other hand, it motivates me. If I get tired, I still push. And i know that people are wondering what I am doing, I have people ask me all the time about it. And I am always happy to share what I know. And I look at these people on the treadmill, doing an dhour at a time of cardio and I’m proud to know that in 30 minutes I have burned more that an hour on the treadmill or elliptical. These workouts have been very effective for me. I have lost 20 lbs in 9 weeks and I am just shaving my body fat off.

If anyone wants any info on the workouts I am doing, check out www.hardbodyfigure.com for FREE training advice! Hey - always have fun with it…