A figure competitor’s path

So I have a new love… Meet yogurt, smooth and creamy and only 60 calories. Each round of my diet I latch onto a meal that I love the most. Last diet it was my peanut butter and celery and apple, this time, it’s my 60 calorie carton of yogurt.

Ordinarily, I’m not a huge fan of yogurt, especially without granola or something in it, but now, it tastes like a little piece of whipped heaven. That’s the meal I most look forward to in the morning. In the afternoon, I also get an apple which I do so enjoy as well.

Hey - I’ve said before, it’s the little things now.

OK - Now I know it’s nothing to brag about or to write home about (especially since my parents do NOT support what I do) but I lost a pound FINALLY! That was the freakin hardest pound to lose in my life. But I took everyone’s advice that wrote to me over this past week and stayed the course and it finally paid off.

 See, here’s the situation. Last Friday I woke up and I was 131 lbs! Yay - great! Woke up Saturday at 132 and that’s where I stayed ALL WEEK! I think the 131 just happened to be a fluke, but it got me excited and then when I went back up to 132 I thought I was doing something wrong. Instead, I think the 131 was just a mistake. So it took me 5 full days to get back down to 131 and I am there. Hey- It’s the small successes. But what’s even more interesting though is even though it was only 1 lb this week, I started to see subtle changes in my body as I was waiting for that pound to come off. For instance, the muscle in the top of my leg popped out just a slight bit more. I can see it more when I flex.

What does this mean to me? It means I did it the right way and lost a lound of fat, instead of losing muscle or water. That hard worked for pound should be gone now and it’s time to start working on the next. I actually can’t wait for my figure coach, Terry Stokes to take my body fat and see what reflection that one pound had on the body fat.

Moral of this long - probably boring story? Keep on keepin on. Just because you don’t see a change on the scale, doesn’t mean that the change isn’t subtly happening in your body and your muscles. Don’t get discouraged. The end of the diet, those last few pounds are the hardest. Work for them and celebrate your victories!

So this is the point of training where my mind needs to step in and tell me what I logically already know. My weight has been the same for 4 days now. BUT - I know that this is the point where the weight starts to come off harder. I also know that this is the point that I gave into frustration last year and basically gave up.

I have 9 weeks to go. More than 9 weeks and 6 lbs to lose with about 6 % body fat to lose. That amounts to a pound a week and each pound should be a percentage of body fat. I KNOW this - yet every morning, I get up and expect the scale to be down a pound.

I lasted through 2 grueling - almost suicidal workouts yesterday and I felt sure that because of it, I would wake up a pound or two lighter this morning, but I didn’t. And I have to convince myself that all is not for nothing. Maybe those 2 workouts took off .3 lbs and since my scale only weighs whole pounds, I didn’t see the change.

Each workout is getting me closer to where I need to be and I need to talk myself back into the reality that this is NOT going to get any easier. And just because i don’t eat anything that’s not on my diet in a day doesn’t mean that I am going to magically lose weight. It just doesn’t happen like that.

So I have to keep on keeping on and know that one of these mornings, I am going to get up and see the weight down and know that I worked my shrinking ass off for that 1 lb for a week! But it will be 1 lb closer to where I need to be.

I think I may be turning into a big chicken. Not the scaredy cat kind of chicken, but the clucking one – the one you eat. Because that’s all I eat anymore. Chicken. From the crock-pot, from the oven, on the George Foreman. The other day I even roasted a whole chicken in the crock-pot. I am becoming the master at chicken.

But I am starting to miss the other things too. I begin to crave the strangest things…things that in every day life, I don’t even really like too much. Like string cheese. I’m not a huge cheese fan, but I’d probably kill you for a piece of string cheese right now. Or even a banana. One of my friends was eating a banana the other day and I swear I drooled on her. It’s just a freaking banana! Oh… and how about a serving on macaroni and cheese. All that delicious fatty processed cheese substitute? How delicious would that be with some polish sausage right now?

Really – I just want a grilled cheese sandwich. Doesn’t that sound yummy right now? But alas, my chicken and chicken and chicken and oh yeah – sometimes I throw in some tilapia - and chicken is so delicious – why would I want to eat anything else? Sorry – am I making anyone else hungry right now?

Don’t worry – one the show is over, I’ll go back to eating and enjoying all my fatty foods but right now, I’d just be happy with cheese. Oh yeah – and chicken.

You know, I rain every day with my competition. I’m not like the normal figure competitor whi trains one on one with their coach and then gets on stage to compete against all these faceless, nameless people. I train wth a group of girls - we’re all training for the same shows. Now, I know that when I train next to 7 other girls, I’m not going to be compeing directly against every one of them because everyone is different heights and stuff, but I do train with a few that I will stand next to on stage. And they are not only my competition, but they’re my friends.

Some people tell me to use it as motivation - and I do - most of the time. But sometimes i can’t help but to sit back and look at these girls and wonder what the hell I am thinking getting on stage with them. Not anything against me, but a testiment to these amazing girls I train with. And what’s so interesting is that even though we may be in the same height class, each one of us has a different body. Some longer and smaller in muscle, some with more muscle, different shapes and sizes and I could literaly drive myself nuts worrying about everything they may bring to the stage and what they have that I don’t because they do have things that I don’t. I just have to hope that I have something they don’t have too. Something appealing to the judges. It makes me nervous and sometimes makes me wonder why I should. But I do it because I love it. And I love being on stage.

The only thing I can do is bring my best to the stage and then after that it’s up to the judges to decide what they really want. To all the wonderful, strong and beautiful women out there competing with me and against me, do the very best you can and I wills ee you on stage. Good luck.

I should be eating right now. Why you ask? Because I want to. Isn’t that why most people eat? because they want to? But not when you’re training for a figure show.

 A friend of mine recently told me that anyone can work out, but it’s the diet that makes a figure competitor. Now I believe him.  

Because when you’re training for a show, any show, bodybuilding, figure, the diet is what makes the difference. You train all off-season long to build and sculpt the perfect shape, but if you don’t diet right then it’s all lost. Every bit of hard work you put into it is for nothing. So you diet. And dieting sucks. It’s true. Nobody wants to diet. Especially when there’s chocolate cake in the lunchroom and chips on the counter.  

Instead I live and die by Crystal Lite and water and gum in between meals. And I clock watch so that when the clock ticks the 2 hours after one meal, I can finally eat my next one. Sometimes I fond myself wanting to eat even when I am not famished hungry. Just for something to do while I am sitting at my desk.

Because I miss the smooth creaminess of chocolate and the crunchy, saltiness of a Dorito. And oooh the coldness of ice cream. Why am I writing this? Because I know you’re all out there doing the same thing and going through the same cravings. Plus, if I keep myself busy writing, I forget that I want to snack.

And since you’re all out there with me, I know that even as badly as I want to cheat I won’t because maybe I will be on stage next to you and if I’m the one that cheated and you didn’t then that could be the make or break over first place and second.

So cheers to Crystal Lite and celery and gum everyone. 10 weeks to go!

So my figure coach, Terry Stokes, put me through 3 major killer workouts in 24 hours. I did a 6 a.m., 6 p.m. yesterday and a 6:30 a.m. today. Wow am I feeling it. But the good thing is that I feel good. I am feeling strong (but tired). I push myself until I can’t push any more and the good thing is that I have seen a drop in my weight over the past 3 days too! Yay! On my way!

So just as I knew it would - my weight has hit a barrier. I was 2 lbs ahead and now I am right on track. It frustrates me, but I know that this is just part of it all. You fluctuate up and down.

So, it’s time to tweak the diet. I’m ready willing and able to work harder to watch the weight come down and drop off. Ready to work it and make it happen. No frustration - just perseverence!

So today is a day off from the gym - my first in 7 straight and while I am kind of missing it, I am kind of enjoying getting the time to rest. It will be nice to get back to it tomorrow with fresh muscles.

 Yesterday I was so tired during one of my sets, I actually hit myself in the back of the head with the bar - I had done 9 of 10 in that set and I stopped. I have a nice bump back there today. That’s when you know your form is slipping.

Talked to my figure coach terry stokes yesterday and he told me to eat a good meal last night and get back on the diet today without stepping in the gym and I already feel energized just from my meal last night. I could have eaten anything I wanted and I opted for a plain ol’ turkey sub. It was delicious and guilt free because my weight didn’t go up at all.

So I am going to heed his advice - seeing as he is the best there is and just rest today. Tomorrow is a whole new day to pound the body, but today is for recouperation and that’s just what I plan to do.

Right before my workout yesterday, I had the quick though that perhaps I should go to the bathroom because I kinda had to pee - but then I had my gloves on and everything so I just figured I would go halfway through the workout. Well terry wiped the floor with my ass yesterday and I was soaking wet from sweat. Leaving the gym, I realized that I didn’t have to pee anymore because I had sweated it all out.

Guess that’s the kind of workout you want during show season huh?