My Family Disowned Me… what now..
Ok this title, no joke. It happened. I guess maybe it can be explained better in a note that I wrote to my aunt when she asked me what was up with my facebook status… Certain things have been ******’d out to keep my family’s info private.
to Hey *******Aunt’s Name Goes Here******,
As you know I have been really trying hard to make a difference in the world somehow.. I found that doing the fitness thing seems to work. I have clients that pay me to train them every month and it really makes me happy. Like, I seriously think I found my calling in helping people out that way. Unfortunately, I tried to tell my dad that and told him that instead of me working at the ****family business goes here***** he could stop paying me and I’d work for myself coaching people. He took it as a huge insult to the family and I guess he feels like I am being a terribly selfish person in doing that but I know that working at the ****** I was unhappy. I didn’t feel like I was doing anything that mattered… and then once I found happiness in helping people this way… I needed to make it my life.
So, I told my parents today. I wanted them to know what I had planned on doing so that they wouldn’t freak out. But they did. And they freaked out really bad. Yelling and stuff, calling me stupid.. but it’s in my heart that this is what I want to do and I don’t want to be held back anymore. So, they’re threating to take away everything… (I am fully prepared for that) And I’m willing to let it go. I don’t wan to lose touch with you guys. I know my mom and dad are mad at me right now, but I think eventually they’ll realize that this is what I need to do. I don’t wan to look back on my life and wish that I could have done something that I never took the first step to do.
I don’t know if I should tell grandpa and grandma about this yet. I don’t want them stressing out. It makes me so sick to my stomach thinking about this, knowing that it hurts my parents, but they’ve got to know that I’m going to grow up some day. Today is the day that I chose to make it official. I’m making enough money to survive on.. so let’s see where the world takes me. 
I cried a lot today,but that’s just letting go of the things that held me back. I can’t feel bad for this.. even though I know thats what they want me to do. You know that they practically control every aspect of my life. It’s just bringing me down… so I’m taking it in my hands now. This way I’m not going to be a burden to them. They’ll take me off the payroll.. and I took care of that part earlier this month. I made sure the******* would not be short staffed so I wasn’t leaving anyone in the dust.
Starting tomorrow and for the next ten days I’ll be in Las Vegas at one of the largest fitness expos ***The Olympia*** getting new clients, meeting with people and training with some of my current clients. I think all of those activities will contribute to my business. Every single one of the people I am coaching right now has made incredible progress so I feel like I’m offering up a pretty darn good service. (If you know anyone that’s interested it’s www.ForniFitness.com) I know, you’ll laugh at the name.. I did.. it seems like an oxymoron. Forni and Fitness.. really.. those two words aren’t found in the same sentence that often.
Well anyway, I’m going to finish packing for tomorrow. I think I’ll be moved out of my house within two days of returning from Vegas. That way they can’t hold the mortgage over my head either. Though I’d love to keep the house, I don’t think this environment will be good for anyone in my family yet. Once they calm down a bit I’m sure we’ll make up down the road. Until then, you know how to get a hold of me. If they cancel my phone I have an 866-545-6311 toll free number you can call to leave a voice message. I can check that from the internet anywhere.
I hope this explains what happened… it’s complex, but I think it’s what I needed to do… I might send this email to my uncle also.
TTYS!
Tiffany
September 24, 2009 at 12:25 am
I feel for ya tiff! Has to be tough!
September 24, 2009 at 12:40 am
Wow Tiff, And it couldn’t have happened at a worse time. This is a very important week for you,like you said. It’ll take them some time to get over the shock of it ,but they will come around. Ultimately, there love for you will prevail over their( percieved) betrayel. I’ll keep you and your family in my prayers! And you "knock’em dead" this weekend! God bless! Jimmy L.
September 24, 2009 at 12:53 am
Tiff, I’m so sorry that you’re going through tthis. You have to do what makes you happy though. After all this is your life. I’m sure your family will come around when they see that you are truly happy.
I’m going to the Olympia for the 1st time ever, and I would LOVE to meet you!
September 24, 2009 at 1:17 am
Girl, i admire you, Your goin after ur dreams and you know why your doin it. I let someone along time ago tell my dream was stupid, and i gave up on it, and im just now realizing how stupid i was
September 24, 2009 at 1:24 am
girl same stuff happened to me…but thank God Ive been in war forever so its helped me alot believe it or not. KEEP YOUR HEAD UP!!! the rain wont last forever…
September 24, 2009 at 2:04 am
I think you’re doing the right thing.Just follow your dreams,it is so much better to be passionate about something,doing it good and get payed for it.I also think that your parents are selfish(I don’t want to offend you)if they reacted the way they did.They should be proud of you and they should let you live your life the way you feel it’s right.We all are responsible for our destiny and if your destiny is to be somebody in the fitness industry than go for it.I did the same but I’m fortunate to have parents who are extremely proud and supportive with what I’m doing.Perhaps now it the time to spread your wings and fly away from home and be a totally independent woman(it sounds like lyrics from a song,I know-lol
)Good luck!
September 24, 2009 at 3:04 am
Prayers for ya Tiffany. It’s a RARE occurence that people are blessed with combining their passion & work. AND……you are helping others. Helping people to be fit, healthy and reach their goals……….WAY COOL. Sometimes growing up & severing the ties to independence is hard. Much respect to you.
Here’s a song that might help. If you’re not Christian, don’t worry about it. It’s really about living life with passion, instead of just "Going Thru the Motions":
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XKe2haD_9Y
September 24, 2009 at 4:27 am
Sometimes family can be it’s own worst enemy. You will do well, because you have the drive and compassion for those you work with
you have taken a seriously brave step! Give your family time, hopefully they will come round and see that their own worries and fears were a short spur of the moment thing. Good luck with everything xxx
September 24, 2009 at 6:53 am
Its amazing that you found your calling. Happens to the best of us that it takes a while to actually realize what makes us happy. Im sorry that your parents cannot understand that, but hopefully will come around in time. I cannot believe they would react in such a manner.
But this is your life, not theirs, so I give you insane amounts of props for perusing your calling. There is nothing wrong with wanting to help others. Its a pretty awesome feeling when your advice or teachings actually help someone better themselves.
It took me till I was 24 to realize fitness was my calling. Before that, I was truly stumped on a career after the military.
So I applaud you, I salute you, have fun this coming weekend in Vegas cause your going to be on your way to making it in this world!
Kick some ass, Tif!
September 24, 2009 at 7:23 am
It is tough to strike out on your own. I wish you the best with it. I am sure your family will come to grips with it and realize you are still thier daughter. What amy be the tough part about it is the fact you are going at it on your own, your decisions, your life. Not that they really want to "controll" everything, but you are thier daughter and a parents instinct is to take care of thier own. Hopefull, they will come around. Keep your chin up. You are doing what you want to do and what may be best for you. Good luck with it all and hope the healing is already begining.
September 24, 2009 at 7:40 am
Hi Tiff…
Well I have a couple of girls myself,and in all honesty maybe your mom and dad are just reacting to the fact that your going to make your own road. There not going to have you there all the time anymore, I know if I had my girls working with me for the family company and they sprung this on me….I would be shocked and angry, but maybe just because they wouldn’t be around anymore for me to see them and spend time with them. We draw great comfort by having our kids near us.
It’s great that you found that meaning inside for what your life purpose it, you do need to cultivate this yearning. This is what drives success, the risk and placing oneself out of our comfort zone.
All the best and run with your dreams!
Mike
September 24, 2009 at 7:50 am
Before the rainbows show, there has to be some rain. Fist thanks for commenting on my post and second. I know what it’s like to have family come in oppoisition to what you plan on doing with your life. Hopefully they will come to the realization that you are a grown woman and your decision is just that, your decision. You went through some heartache and pain to realize that this is what you want to do. But you came through it and you will come through this. Be strong babe. I’ll be praying for you and remember you have a family here too and we all love you.
September 24, 2009 at 8:00 am
Sometimes families take the feeling of thinking they know whats best for you to the extreme. No doubt that believe that they know whats best for you, but ultimately that decision is yours.
I gotta commend you for having the courage to not only go out on your own, but to go against the grain as well. I know the feeling. I’m hoping your family comes around eventualy as mine did. The key is to hang in there, but continue doing what you love doing.
Peace!!
September 24, 2009 at 10:13 am
You’re in my thoughts and prayers, you’ve been such an immense inspiration to me, and I haven’t even had the pleasure of meeting you, I can only imagine the impact you are having, and will continue to have on your future clients. As a parent, sometimes we love our children too much to let go, but thankfully, most times we got over ourselves… I pray that this will be the case with your folks.
Go on, spread your wings and FLY… we’re watching your ascent with joy!
September 24, 2009 at 11:47 am
When I saw the title, my first thought was that, that’s not possible you’re far too inspiring for this to be true.
From my own experience and that of my friends, I believe that parents love their children, but for a variety of reasons they are also frequently very afraid for them. Sometimes more so for their child’s livelihood, stability and security, while happiness can come in second or even third place. Making life choices on the basis of "happiness" can be very scary for them.
You are very, very blessed to have realised your calling in life. That is something that so many of us still haven’t figured out yet.
From my own experience, I would say you sound like a strong, fairly independent woman and that you should go on your own path, because it is hard to be truly at peace when you’re trying to be someone you’re not.
7 years on from my own experience, I would say though that the only thing you can do is to try, at the same time, to feel compassion for your parents and their fears. You need to have boundaries to leave out any negative stuff (which is why moving out is important), but also leave your door open for them to change their minds - because they will.
Good luck with finding new clients at the Olympia. I think you’re going to be just fine =)
September 24, 2009 at 1:15 pm
Hey Tiff, sorry to hear that you had to go through all of this stress. Know in your heart that you made the right decision in following your heart and your true calling in life. Family will always be family through all the ups and downs. It is hard right now to understand but in time they will come around. Keep your head up and keep doing what you do girl!!!
September 24, 2009 at 2:11 pm
i will not presume to offer advice because i was deprived of oxygen as a baby and am not smart enought to sleep and breathe at the same time, but i will say this. when i was young like you i thought like you and now that i am old and almost dead i look back and everything my parents said was right, i was wrong and if i had it to do over again i would listen to them. they loved me and wanted what was best for me and were smarter than me.
that is all. good luck to you.
September 24, 2009 at 3:07 pm
I’ve always looked up to you ever since I came across your profile here and read your transformation testimony. I admire your great courage as well to be able to tell your parents that you are going after your dreams and not theirs. You’re an adult now and you have the right to do what you want to do. No disrespect to your parents, but they are holding on to their daughter as if she needs protection from them all the time. So letting you go is very hard for them as well and I’m sure you understand that being disowned isn’t something they would have wanted to do.
Tiffany, you are a great girl…full of dreams and aspirations. You inspire many others like myself and I hope one day to be able to train with you. We have contacted each other through email in the past and I was looking forward to training with you but financially that won’t be possible for rightnow. But hopefully if you have some openings or availabilities by early next year, perhaps I’ll be able to train with you then. My prayers go out to you and your family. Be blessed!
September 24, 2009 at 3:19 pm
Seeing your picture in a BB.com ad is what first brought me to this site. And this site has brought some really awesome people into my life.
Here is a quote that you might like…
"You are a living magnet. What you
attract into your life is in harmony
with your dominant thoughts."
- Brian Tracy
You will do great at whatever you do!
September 25, 2009 at 11:07 am
Your parents love you a lot so its going to be hard for them to let go of what they think is best for you. Thats just how parents are. When they see that you are happy, doing well, and making it on your own, they will come around! So dont worry about it and go after your dreams!
September 28, 2009 at 12:17 pm
WOW….that sucks….Im sure they love you and want the best for you. Its hard to let go…I know when I moved away my dad was upset. Do your thing and make sure you keep in contact with your family.
October 1, 2009 at 2:24 pm
Hey tiff,
Hope the Olympia was fun for you. I’m sorry for what happened before with your family, but I hope you see this not as a loss, but an opportunity for you to achieve your own greatness. No one can hold you back now. Best of luck.
NERDS UNITE!,
Troy
October 3, 2009 at 10:25 pm
I am so sorry u have to endure that…u are an amazing person and I dont even know u…keep ur head up and things will work out for the best,,,it is very impressive of u to take a stand and do what makes u happy. U have come so far and I know how u felt taking the journey by yourself to get fit and now u want to help any one u can..been there…keep doing what ur doing and everything will go the way it is supposed to.
"only as high as I reach can I grow, Only as far as I seek can I go, Only as deep as I look can I see, Only as much as I dream can I be"…so keep being happy!
October 4, 2009 at 12:08 am
Thank you guys all so much. When I started reading these I cried.. eek.. I’m such a wuss. but hey, it’s getting easier and I’m sure that sometime soon my parents will come around. Thank you all so much again. I’m going to keep pushing hard so that I can keep proving to people who don’t think change is possible that it really is. No matter what.
Keep up all of your hard work everyone!! Even if I don’t know you I’m proud of you!!!!!
Love Always,
Tiff
October 6, 2009 at 12:20 am
Wow keep your head up. You seem to be very strong so itll work out. Follow ur dreams.
October 7, 2009 at 6:46 am
This type of stuff can happen and you can’t let them make you feel bad about following your heart and going the direction you want to go. Family is family and they will shed the animosity in time. You’ve come a long way and gained a ton of ground so don’t stop now. Best of luck and keep your chin up!
October 9, 2009 at 7:38 pm
Hi,
I just happen to be on this website looking for some motivation, and I found it on your profile page. You have literally worked your butt off and have come a long way and it’s amazing. And from the looks of it, you inspire many.
I wish I had half your determination and strength, and it must have taken a lot of strength for you to tell your parents about your dreams and aspirations.
Anyway all I wanted to say was what your doing is wonderful. You’re helping people change their lives for the better and doing what you love. I hope everything works out for you with your family.
You’ll do great.
October 10, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Follow your heart.
If your family loves you (and I’m sure they do), they will come around.
October 10, 2009 at 2:41 pm
I was sending a comment and checking on what you were doing for some inspiration. I am sorry to hear that your family reacted in that way. I guess they thought it was a hobby and not a career decision. I understand how you feel. Your parents will come around and support you eventually. They just had plans for you and now you are doing your own plans. Once they realize that you are your own adult and you have to do what is happy and fulfilling for you. I think it is hard for us girls sometimes cause they still think of us as their little girl. They still love you. You have accomplished so far. I know you are a true inspiration and motivation to me and certainly many others. Keep at being great!
October 10, 2009 at 2:56 pm
So sorry that this happen, something the shock of everything at first heats up emotions. But I know and hope that when things settle down they will see your point of view and not take this so personal. They Love you, and they are just being parents. Concerned of course, but they have to realize that you are a grown person, who need to make her own decision. And learn from these decision. Help them to see that they were once in your position, and look how things turned out for them. But it wasn’t no doubt without heartache and pain but with ups also! But that experience in life molded them into the person they are today! And likewise it did the same for you!
I hope this helps some what, but time can help cool emotions.
J
October 17, 2009 at 8:25 pm
OMG *hugz*
I’m really sorry to hear that your family is responding in this way. I think parents really do believe that they ALWAYS know what best. However I’m a firm believer in people carving their own paths despite the odds or those who dont support us. It hurts the most when those who love us dont understand but it can also be an empowering feeling. It forces us to let go of what has made us comfortable and to really realize our true potential. You have done tremendous things in the lives of more people than you will ever know and one day they will be able to see it.
You’re only 23 and have already done so much to be proud of and it is no where but up for you!
October 20, 2009 at 1:07 pm
keep your strength Tiff! You’re an inspiration, surely the good things will start pouring on you soon! Remember to always P.U.S.H (pray until something happens) I send you great vibes!
JenCan
October 23, 2009 at 2:00 pm
it’s gonna be hard for a little bit, but you gotta do what makes you happy, life’s to short. Your an inspiration to a lot of people. GOOD LUCK with everything
October 25, 2009 at 4:43 pm
1)Lets see, you have something like 30+ responses here from people all over the country. How many people all over the country even know who your parrents are?
2) Looks like you have had a feature in a magizeene..how many your parents had at this point? How long untill you are fetured in IRONMAN or MUSCLEMAG..I hope not long.
3) Whare were you working in your first progress pic, whare were you liveing..how happy were you at that point in your life overall..think back? How do you feel now other than this parent situation. I would hope beter!!
Just keep it all in perspective and move on..If your parrents actualy care they will get over it. If not and they keep pulling guilt BS than for your owne mental helth you are beter off somewhare else. I have worked with kids with issues in the mental health field for years and seen some results of what ongoing guilt trips can cause ..take what I said how you want. Good luck and stay strong!
October 28, 2009 at 10:50 am
Wow you are a brave lady-you have so many friends on this site who want you to succeed, so go for it! We are all thinking of you!
October 31, 2009 at 5:03 pm
i really respect your choice
I’ve been in the same situration not long time ago, im the oldest of my grandparents grandkid and the only boy in the family, my dad is also the first born and the only boy on his side of the family, and my dad bought my granddads company when he retired, so ofcauce my grand dad expect that i will buy the company when my dada retires, but ever since i told him that im not gonna buy the company he havent spoken to me. so i guess you just have to do what ever your stomac says and pursuite your dreams lust like you have done and i respect that!
November 11, 2009 at 9:48 pm
i feel for you . . . sometimes family doesnt understand and for some reason think their children were meant to be slaves to them forever . . . you are your own person and im glad you were able to share with them your feelings. I also had my own family problems well just my "mom" really . . . last year when i made the cover of Good Houskeeping it was the most exciting and worse thing that could happen to me. My Mom stopped talking to me . . . were on again but it only started a few months ago and i am very, very careful and know that things will never be the same.
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November 23, 2009 at 5:17 pm
Tiffany, hang in there. I’m sure your family loves you and once the fire dies down they will realize that you have accomplished so much in such a short time and that you are truely and inspiration to many.
If I lived closer I’d be happy to have you as my trainer as I am down here in Salem and one of the millions of people on Unemployment but I still pay for my gym membership because it helps me not only with stress levels but with makeing my body, health better.