Tiffany Forni.. uh huh

To party or not to party.  That is the question.  So last night I’m at a pre-bachelorette party with the ladies.. and we decide the most clean fun we would have is to ramble on over to the nearest dive bar and watch the locals sing karaoke.  After just spending two hours in that smoke filled chamber of nastyness I want to die.  It’s the morning after, and I didn’t have any drinks (save for water) while I was there. But BLEAH!  The smoke.  I stink.  I didn’t do the smoking.  I can feel the cancer building in my lungs as I type this.  I’m going to see how long the effect of the smoke hangs on.  Then I will post about it as scientific findings.  Mmmm Hmm.. that’s what I’ll do.  Until then.. it’s showa time!

Don’t let the title of this blog mislead you.  I know I have a LOT of work to do before I will feel comfortable with myself.  I’m posting pics of me in a bikini here only, nowhere else on the web, because I’m quite shy… and I’m hoping that a lot of you used to be fat too.  I know that I can loose weight, and quickly, so this time, I’m going quite hard. 

 If you look at my progress pictures, as far as my build goes and whatever, what’s good and what’s bad?  I’m just looking for some kind of analysis to help me figure out what to kick my ass into doing.  I’m losing fat like supa fast.. around 5 pounds  a week… but I feel like my legs are huge, and even when they’re leaner they’re going to look like giant Christmas Hams and continue to appear rather manly.  Is there anything I can do to make my legs more femanine?  Hmm??  I duno. 

I’m bored and just want some feedback on anything so I can convince myself I have a new goal other than quit being so fat.. *which I will continue to move toward*

In the middle of the night
I go cookin in my sleep
Through the kitchen at Miiiiidniiiight
In the pantry so deeeeeeeep
I must be searchin for somethin…
Somethin sacred I looooost
Somethin I’ll never fiiiiind
Somethin my brother probably aaaate…
(I know that doesn’t fit but I don’t care)
In the middle of the night.  

Eventhough I know the kitchen is wide I walk down when I don’t want to walk anymoreee..
I check the fridge to see for goodies inside..
So I can finally find, what I been lookin forrrrrrrr
In the middle of the night.
     -you can sing this to the tune of that popular Billy Joel song..

So tonight I decided to solve one of my own problems.. I just got out of the shower after spending wayyy too long in the gym.  I get hungry.. very hungry.  It’s late, and I was told that I can’t have anything but green stuff this late.. blah.. some carb something something.. So I wasn’t allowed to EAT anything taisty.. so..

I distracted myself.  Wearing only a bathrobe and a giant red towel on my head I snuck into the kitchen around 11:30ish.

Since moving back in with my parents (jeebus people, it’s temporary) I have discovered a plethora of new doodads other than my forman grill. A "slow cooker"… woo.. interesting. It sat alone on the counter.. all clean and shiny.. and from the looks of it, never used. My mother is culinary challenged.. but she makes great reservations.  She had been talking about this new device for the past few days so I thought of her while at the grocery store and picked up a cookbook for it.  *yes it had carb/fat/protein blah blah info in it..)  A blue sticky note caught my eye… "Beer Roast" it was called.  I almost shed a tear at the sheer joy of my findings!  I quickly gathered the ingredients, 1/2 cup chili sauce, 1 bottle beer (Sam Adams Holiday Porter in my case), 2 teaspoons of montreal steak seasoning, 2 onions, and a roast.  Meanwhile my great dane Reganne decided she ought to stop in and see what I was doing.  I hacked away at the fat on the giant frozen hunk of meat, thusly making my dog drool, and eventually got the white sleeves of my robe covered in bovine blood.  If someone had caught me like that, late at night, huge meat cleaver, bloody robe, towel on my head.. yeah.. I’d have called the cops. 

Anywho, I mashed it all in there and set the timer for 10 hours.  Tee heee *that’s the closest thing I can type to a little evil laugh* and in the morning… I shall have ROAST!  Cooking that thing, (ok throwing stuff into a pot) made me feel like I had accomplished something and gave me something else to look forward to in the morning.  9 am.. It usually takes a lot to wake me up but the smell of fresh beast will have me up and dressed in no time.  Perhaps I’ll forgo the normal clothing and use my clean bathrobe.  Hunger gets what hunger wants.  So..

In short.

Cook something in a crock pot late at night when you’re hungry, and the ADHD in you will forget that you didn’t actually eat it.  Then you can sleep and be all excited like a kid on christmas eve for what awaits you in the morning.

 Just a though… anywho, rock on people.  G’night!

I’m sure you’ve all read posts from people about slackers.  This rant is not about the people IN the gym, rather the people that WORK in the gym.  While showering today I found a GIANT HAIR BALL.. it looked like someone murdered a muskrat and stuck it on the drain. I wanted to vomit.  Have YOU seen anything worse in your gym?

I don’t like being naked in locker rooms.  It’s just wierd. Maybe I’m shy, who knows.  As I rummaged around in my bag it came to me.  Since I had forgotten a coverup I invented my own. 

Ingredients:
1 Bath Towel
1 Hand wrap

Directions:
Step 1. Wrap the towel around your middle.
Step 2. Wrap the hand wrap around your towel about two inches from the top of the towel.  It may go around you 2 or 3 times.
Step 3. Put the velcro part through the thumb loop and velcro. 

SUCCESS!  Home made coverup.  Worked great for me when I was drying my hair.

Lately I’ve been stressed out, fighting with my boyfriend about stupid things like.. he doesn’t want me to take a belly dancing class.. big freakin deal.. he should be happy right?  Well, for the past few days I haven’t gotten any good sleep.  I stay up till 4am and then have to be up again at 7.. it really sucks.  It’s hurting my system so bad that my eyelid twitches.  *A sure sign of being stressed out.*  I don’t know if I should workout or sleep.  I know I need sleep, but after class today I just want to pass the f’ out.  Grumble Grumble.  To wait until I’ve got a regular.. oh no, I did not just pose that question to myself.  FINE, I will go to the gym.. no excuses.. ohh tired me.. blah blah blah.  Bah.  The things I do.

Curiosity killed the cat.. but satisfaction brought it back… so now it’s my turn.  I keep hearing that if you ever want to have an absolutly amazing body.. you have to be born with the right structure.  Well then, how do I know if I’ve got what it takes?  I doubt I’ll ever compete, but I’d like to know if I can have a body like the figure women. So if you’re bored, check my pictures, I don’t have anything skimpy, but I’m sure you can see how I am from the pictures I have posted.  Let me know your opinion.  Again, I’m curious.