31233.. uh huh

yep, you read that right.  i sell cocaine.  i have a whole fridge full of it.  mmmmm hmm.  curiosity killed the cat and i found out where to find that energy drink that was banned from 7-11s.  if you want some.. send me an email.  i give you good price my friend. tee hee.  it’s great going to the gym and having someone come up and ask "hey, can i get some cocaine?" and i look at them and say.. of course… 8.4 ounces for a buck fifty.  then whoever is on a macine next to me looks over confused and myself and the buyer just chuckle away.

PS, ITS NOT REAL COCAINE DUMMY.. ITS AN ENERGY DRINK ..YAY MY SHIFT KEY WORKS again… dammit.

Wow, I haven’t written on this in a long time.  Here is the SHORT version of what’s been going on.

Moved to a new house.. YAY!
Decided to compete in two shows.  October 11 and 18th.  My coach thinks I can do it and I trust him completely.
Haven’t had many carbs lately.. got migranes at first.. got over that.. all better… YAY!

Other than that, I’m just lifting, doing cardio, eating.. ALL THE TIME, and drinking loads of water.

Had a couple more photoshoots. - now doing more work with that.. Yee Haw!

Had a couple posing classes for figure competitors. Those are really neat.  I sweat in two minutes just standing there. 

That’s about it.  Life is good!  Work is good!  I can’t wait till my legs lean out a bit.. that will be nice.

Hope anyone who reads this is safe, happy and healthy.

Tiffany  =)

I got dunked again yesterday and in 28 DAYS with the guidance of my coach Sean Calder and. A big chunk of persistance this is what I did.

Weight: 176 to 168
Bodyfat: 27.7 to 20.7
Fat: lost 12 pounds
Lean mass: gained 4 pounds

I almost did a little dance for joy when I got the results!!! That same day the people at the desk at my gym said that they saw my back was coming in. I was like Woo Hoo!! It’s not all in my imagination!!

Wa wa we wa!  I have been working hard on my diet and training and made some awesome progress in how I look.  But that’s not all!  My weight has not been changing as much as it used to… BUT!  My strength has gone WAY WAY up!  It’s incredible!  So I don’t feel too down and out that I’m not dropping pounds like I was in the beginning of this project.  I have read in a few places and have been told that you must grow stronger before you can grow your muscles.. and after growing those you burn fat more quickly.  Right now I’m on a mission to drop fat and grow some muscle.. ha.. aren’t we all.  Eventually when it gets closer to contest time I’m going to go on a fat killing frenzy and probably lose some muscle during that.. so right now if people are lookin at me a little funny in the gym when I’m trying to not make faces when lifting heavy things.. I don’t mind.  Some day they will see me lookin all good later.. well anywho.. I’m rambling.   But as far as progress goes… that’s whats new.  I’m down even more pant sizes… and I’ve given up on shopping for clothes until I reach where I want to be.   YAY for being a size 9/10 from a 16/15!! WOO HOO!!!!   HAPPY TIMES!

I know that I have made significant changes so far and I know I will make more.  Unfortunatly I need more motivation after I see results.  The guys at my local  MaxMuscle store suggested competing in figure… at first I didn’t think it was for me.  Running around overly tan in a bikkini around strangers just doesn’t seem inviting.  Over the next few weeks thoughts of competing crossed my mind.  Eventually I realized that I will not do the best I can unless I have someone to beat or a goal to reach.  I read articles on this website and yep… eventually I decided I’ll do it. 

 Telling my family about my decision was easier than I expected.  I felt like I was coming out of the closet or something.. but they were actually excited!  They have seen me struggle with my weight for years and know that I will work hard if there is something I want.  What I want this time, is to win.  Yes, I want to be in the best shape of my life.. but I want something to show for it.  I want to stand up there with the women who I have always been intimidated by and be judged on a level with them.  That will be, I’m sure, a turning point in my life.  I don’t care if it’s a tiny contest with three other women, I just want to say I did it… and I want to do it knowing that I have put forth my best work.

 Well, that’s it for now.  I’m excited!  The only downside is going out to dinner with friends and family drooling over their food.  Mmm…. oh man.  Italian food tonight… yeah.. my weakness…. but I was good!  I didn’t want to be, but now that I have a goal in mind it makes keeping on track even easier.  It’s a little victory whenever I successfully eat well all day.  Hey, every vicotory is great for me.  I like being happy.. who doesn’t?

Well, goooodnight!

So today… after work.. I decide to go to the gym.  Yeah, I’m all changed and ready to go.. pull into the parking lot.. and decide to recline for a minute and shut my eyes.  Well.. an hour later I get a phone call from my boyfriend that wakes me up and I realize I had been sleeping for over an hour!  I bet the people at the gym think I’m a hobo that lives out of my car.  Suuure, she drives a nice car, but she lives in it!  Yeah, feels wierd.  I found that there were a few people staring at me when I woke up.  It was incredibly well… uncomfortable.  Why does that happen?  Last time I lost a lot of weight and was working out prety hard I began to be narcoleptic.  I could feel myself getting tired then I’d have to pull over if I was driving to sleep.  I’d wake up hours later not realizing how long I had slept for.  I don’t know why this happens.  If anyone has an idea, I’d like to know.  Am I not eating enough?  I had half a sandwich in the car right before the gym.  I don’t want to get that crazy sleeping thing happening. 

 Well, after the gym I feel like I’ve been givin a shot of crack or whatever.. I’m hyperactive, I feel great, and I want to do anything that walks…  w00t!  I love working out.. and should probably get to it before falling asleep in my car again.

To party or not to party.  That is the question.  So last night I’m at a pre-bachelorette party with the ladies.. and we decide the most clean fun we would have is to ramble on over to the nearest dive bar and watch the locals sing karaoke.  After just spending two hours in that smoke filled chamber of nastyness I want to die.  It’s the morning after, and I didn’t have any drinks (save for water) while I was there. But BLEAH!  The smoke.  I stink.  I didn’t do the smoking.  I can feel the cancer building in my lungs as I type this.  I’m going to see how long the effect of the smoke hangs on.  Then I will post about it as scientific findings.  Mmmm Hmm.. that’s what I’ll do.  Until then.. it’s showa time!

Don’t let the title of this blog mislead you.  I know I have a LOT of work to do before I will feel comfortable with myself.  I’m posting pics of me in a bikini here only, nowhere else on the web, because I’m quite shy… and I’m hoping that a lot of you used to be fat too.  I know that I can loose weight, and quickly, so this time, I’m going quite hard. 

 If you look at my progress pictures, as far as my build goes and whatever, what’s good and what’s bad?  I’m just looking for some kind of analysis to help me figure out what to kick my ass into doing.  I’m losing fat like supa fast.. around 5 pounds  a week… but I feel like my legs are huge, and even when they’re leaner they’re going to look like giant Christmas Hams and continue to appear rather manly.  Is there anything I can do to make my legs more femanine?  Hmm??  I duno. 

I’m bored and just want some feedback on anything so I can convince myself I have a new goal other than quit being so fat.. *which I will continue to move toward*

In the middle of the night
I go cookin in my sleep
Through the kitchen at Miiiiidniiiight
In the pantry so deeeeeeeep
I must be searchin for somethin…
Somethin sacred I looooost
Somethin I’ll never fiiiiind
Somethin my brother probably aaaate…
(I know that doesn’t fit but I don’t care)
In the middle of the night.  

Eventhough I know the kitchen is wide I walk down when I don’t want to walk anymoreee..
I check the fridge to see for goodies inside..
So I can finally find, what I been lookin forrrrrrrr
In the middle of the night.
     -you can sing this to the tune of that popular Billy Joel song..

So tonight I decided to solve one of my own problems.. I just got out of the shower after spending wayyy too long in the gym.  I get hungry.. very hungry.  It’s late, and I was told that I can’t have anything but green stuff this late.. blah.. some carb something something.. So I wasn’t allowed to EAT anything taisty.. so..

I distracted myself.  Wearing only a bathrobe and a giant red towel on my head I snuck into the kitchen around 11:30ish.

Since moving back in with my parents (jeebus people, it’s temporary) I have discovered a plethora of new doodads other than my forman grill. A "slow cooker"… woo.. interesting. It sat alone on the counter.. all clean and shiny.. and from the looks of it, never used. My mother is culinary challenged.. but she makes great reservations.  She had been talking about this new device for the past few days so I thought of her while at the grocery store and picked up a cookbook for it.  *yes it had carb/fat/protein blah blah info in it..)  A blue sticky note caught my eye… "Beer Roast" it was called.  I almost shed a tear at the sheer joy of my findings!  I quickly gathered the ingredients, 1/2 cup chili sauce, 1 bottle beer (Sam Adams Holiday Porter in my case), 2 teaspoons of montreal steak seasoning, 2 onions, and a roast.  Meanwhile my great dane Reganne decided she ought to stop in and see what I was doing.  I hacked away at the fat on the giant frozen hunk of meat, thusly making my dog drool, and eventually got the white sleeves of my robe covered in bovine blood.  If someone had caught me like that, late at night, huge meat cleaver, bloody robe, towel on my head.. yeah.. I’d have called the cops. 

Anywho, I mashed it all in there and set the timer for 10 hours.  Tee heee *that’s the closest thing I can type to a little evil laugh* and in the morning… I shall have ROAST!  Cooking that thing, (ok throwing stuff into a pot) made me feel like I had accomplished something and gave me something else to look forward to in the morning.  9 am.. It usually takes a lot to wake me up but the smell of fresh beast will have me up and dressed in no time.  Perhaps I’ll forgo the normal clothing and use my clean bathrobe.  Hunger gets what hunger wants.  So..

In short.

Cook something in a crock pot late at night when you’re hungry, and the ADHD in you will forget that you didn’t actually eat it.  Then you can sleep and be all excited like a kid on christmas eve for what awaits you in the morning.

 Just a though… anywho, rock on people.  G’night!

I’m sure you’ve all read posts from people about slackers.  This rant is not about the people IN the gym, rather the people that WORK in the gym.  While showering today I found a GIANT HAIR BALL.. it looked like someone murdered a muskrat and stuck it on the drain. I wanted to vomit.  Have YOU seen anything worse in your gym?