2tight_TRISH’s BodyBlog

So I did my first show! Finally did it! YAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY! And I’m so proud, just to get out there.  And then, I actually placed! 5th! Which is like placing by a tooth hair, but I still did it! I know for sure now that this is what I want for myself, I want to compete.  And I know the more I do it, the cleaner I am with the diet, the harder I work in the gym, and the planning & preparation is all going to be worth it, cuz I’m just gonna get better.

 Okay, now for the part where I lick my own wounds… nobody ever told me how much it SUCKS after the show.  It’s like the day after Christmas, when you’ve unwrapped all your presents and all your cool relatives went home.  It’s all over.  And the day after Christmas you never wanna crawl out of your own skin…

Honestly, I don’t think I’ve gained TOO much rebound, since it’s only been a week, but I know I have gained some.  There’s water weight spread out everywhere from eating like crap and I feel like a big fat cow.  Some days I’d rather crawl into a hole then put on a tanktop and go out of the house. I guess that’s the reality of it. 

 OH WELL, next week it’s back on the diet, and I am excited that the weather’s getting warmer! I’m excited for my body to balance back out, because I know once I bust out that new bikini, my motivation will be back! This summer’s gonna be FUN, maybe I’ll find myself a hot new boy toy at the beach… hahahaa..

So, I usually work out at the Powerhouse, right?  Well since my Powerhouse is getting new equipment and the building is empty right now, I’ve decided to go train at the Fitness Center down the street from my house.

This is a pretty janky little fitness center, really small, nothing impressive about it at all.  BUT, it has free weights, some bars, a few good machines and treadmills.  That’s really all I need in a pinch.  I like to train in the morning, so I go in around 8 am.  Well, during this time it is filled with OLD people.  I mean, OLD.  Not old as in, "he looks good for his age," they’re old as in, "it looks like the retirement home took a field trip to the fitness center."

So, I lovingly refer to it as the "pee farm."  Because it usually smells like p*ss in the mornings.  And LO AND BEHOLD, today I discovered why…

I was running on the treadmill and I notice a man, perhaps in his late eighties, early five hundreds, was working out on the machines.  He turns and heads towards the cardio equipment, and I noticed a big wet p*ss stain on his sweatpants.  OH. MY. GOD.  He peed himself during his workout.  And he doesn’t even know it!  Just my luck, he goes and sits on the stationary bike right next to my treadmill. Now I KNOW it was pee, because he stunk like PEE! And smelly feet! And… OLDNESS!

Yeah, I felt bad for the guy. But frankly I was too disgusted to stay. So much for that workout… I guess now the term "pee farm" is literal.  Ha, ha.

Sooo… I realize that the longer I go with my contest prep, and the harder I try in training, the hating doesn’t stop.  It gets worse.

I remember when I posted my last blog about the girls in the gym who saw my pictures from the show and were like, "EW! Why would you wanna look like that?" and "They look like men!" Well, that’s one thing and now I’m getting something totally different.

Yesterday, some old family friends came to visit and this is how the conversation went…

B - "Oh my god, Trish, you’re getting sooooo thin."
"Thanks!"
B- "Thanks?! Are you eating?!"
"Um, yes I do, 6 times a day… mostly chicken and broccoli."
B - "Are you… sure??"

She then turns to my parents and asks if I’m eating like I say I am.  My family explains that I’m doing a competition and yes, I am eating EXACTLY what and when I say.  They then continue to poke and prod like I’m not standing right there… questioning whether I’m binging and purging.

Yes, I can HEAR YOU! And NO, I don’t throw up my ****ing food! I eat heathly and train every day.  It is possible to lose weight that way!

I just don’t understand how it is considered OK for someone to comment on my weight being thin, but if I were to say something to her like… "Well, are you BINGING and NOT purging?!"  "Looks like you’ve eaten enough for the both of us!"  or "Gee, it looks like you gained a LOT of weight.  Are you on the Krispy Kreme diet?"  …somebody would shit their pants! "Oh HOW RUDE!" "You can’t say that about someone’s weight.  They’re sensitive!"

Well it took A LOT of ****ing HARD WORK to look how I look now, compared to the way I used to.  It doesn’t take a whole hell of a lot of work to look like a big fat ass.  If I wanted to look like that, it would be easy! I guess I like to keep my standards a little bit higher.

Besides, who wants to hear that they look like a bag of bones when they’re supposed to step on stage in a swimsuit to be judged on their muscularity and physique?  I’m never wearing sweatshirts again… from now on, it’s GUNS BLAZIN’! Bet they wouldn’t have said anything if that was the case…. hahahaha…

WOW! This weekend was incredible! It was my first time at the Arnold Classic, and I have to say it totally exceded all my expectations! The shows were amazing to see… I have a whole new respect for every single one of those competitors. The physiques are amazing, and I can’t even imagine how much work has gone into building them.

I was so proud of my girl, Amy Fry, for taking third in Ms Figure International.  I was hoping that she would have taken home the gold, but third is a fantastic placing.  And there’s the other competitions that we have to look forward to. Gina and Jennifer were very deserving of their placings.  Matter of fact, the competition was SO close.  All of those girls looked fantastic!

 Makes me just wanna pose harder, diet harder, lift harder… it was SUCH an inspiration.

I can’t believe after all this time my competition is almost here!  Seems like it was just last year and I was starting to think about competing.  And now here I am, 5 weeks away!

Seems like every single day I change my opinion on where I am coming in.  Sometimes I feel like I’m right on schedule, and other times I feel like there’s something more I can be doing, more cardio? less food?  …or pinching that sticky fat on my abs and worrying about it still being there in 5 weeks.

It has been such a crazy time! I have gone through so much.  Couple months ago I moved in with my boyfriend, started a new full-time job, switched to a new school with full time class load, and still training and doing contest prep.  The middle of last month I tore my serratus and wasn’t able to do any kind of cardio or ab work. It’s fully healed now but THEN last week, my world went from being holy hectic to totally turned upside-down.  Boyfriend kicked me out, had to quit my job, and now i’m back at my old place and my drive to school went from being twenty minutes to 2 hours. 

I know it’s my fault that he kicked me out, I have been extremely emotional and moody throughout my contest prep and it’s hard to control.  We were fighting every day because I never felt like I wasn’t getting enough support from him and he never made me feel like he cared enough to change that.  I find myself feeling guilty all the time but then I realize that there’s nothing I can do.  If I’m going through this because it’s something I really want, he should have been more understanding.  But he wasn’t.  His loss I guess. You know what they say, if someone can’t handle you at your worst, then they don’t deserve you at your best!  And I know I deserve someone who will care about me and do anything they can to help me out in this time.

Two hours of cardio… no carbs… asparagus three times a day… 2 gallons of water… it’s getting harder every day. And financially I have no idea how I’m gonna pull it off, but gosh darn it, I will find a way! 

So my aunt/trainer/inspiration was in a figure competition this past weekend.  It was an amateur show, but a national qualifier.  She placed 1st in her class and 2nd overall, 2nd in Master’s too.  She did a really good job, we’re all super proud of her cuz that means she’s going to nationals next year!  She said she’s gonna wait to do one until mine is done so she can help me prepare.  I’m so happy…

However, I digress from what I REALLY wanna say…

On the Monday after the show I brought her pictures into the gym to show another trainer, and to my extreme disbelief I got comments from onlookers such as "EW, HOW GROSS!"  "They look like men!" and "OMG, why would you wanna look like that?!"  I wanted to jack someone in the jaw.  I expected it the least out of the person who I brought in the pictures for, who went on to accuse my aunt of juicing… and told me that if I wanted to look like her I had to start taking those "special vitamins…"

Just to clear the air,  she DOES NOT take the "special vitamins."  She put on all her mass naturally.  For some reason, people don’t understand what hard work and dedication can do for your body?!  What upsets me the most is the lack of support that I have, and that women in this industry have.  I thought that bringing in the pictures to the gym of all places, I wouldn’t have to deal with that kind of close-mindedness.  I thought that I would get encouragement and motivation for what I’m trying to do.  Instead I get criticism and ignorance.  I find it completely out of line that they would actually think they could say those things to my face… 

But unfortunately what these ignorant people don’t realize is that we DON’T DO IT FOR THEM, we do it for US.  And that it takes HARD WORK, DISCIPLINE, and WILL POWER to do it. That we are generally EXTREMELY PASSIONATE people.  Although it was extremely discouraging to hear their opinions, I’m trying not to let it bother me.  I’m trying to look past it, to log on to bodyspace for support.

Here’s what I say to them… "Don’t worry, DUMB BITCHES, keep eating your twinkies and cupcakes and doing your HALF-ASS workouts and you won’t EVER have to worry about looking that good!!!!"

This week has been really hard on me for some reason… I find myself wanting to cheat like ALL the time, and I have gained back three lbs.  I think I know why though, it’s getting ready to be -that- time of the month, and I always crave really bad at this time.  I must be holding a lot of water too… I don’t know… maybe it could be good lean weight! But I highly doubt it in this short of time.

 Tommorow I’m meeting with my mentor and we’re gonna measure up again and take BF again so hopefully I will have some really good updates!  I’m just about as nervous as I can possibly be though.  I hope this month has paid off, despite this week.  It’s only Wednesday, so maybe I can make up  for it! I’ll be crossing my fingers…

But how in the heck am I supposed to be dealing with all this PMS and the cravings?! It’s driving me nuts!!

Over the past two weeks or so I’ve changed my diet tremendously.  I’ve taken out a whole lot…. eating super clean lately.  It’s working GREAT! This past week I’ve lost 4 lbs.  I’m doing it so I can get the body fat percent down to a steady 14-16% before I start bulking up again.  My plan is to compete by March so I’m not sure I’m doing this right but we’ll see… I told myself I was gonna get on that stage ready or not.  Here’s a preview of my diet… Let me know if I need to make any changes:

 Breakast - 7AM -
1/2 c. oatmeal & 6 egg whites or 1 scoop whey protein

Snack - 10AM -
1 scoop whey protein & sm. serving of fruit

Lunch - 1PM -
6 oz chicken, turkey, or tuna & 1/2 sweet potato or low carb wrap & green veggies

Pre-Workout Snack - 4PM -
1 scoop whey protein & sm serving fruit

Dinner - 7PM -
6 oz chicken or turkey & green veggies

Snack - 10PM - (this one is optional, depending on how hungry I am)
1 scoop whey protein or protein pudding

NOTES: I don’t eat the fruit on the days when I don’t weight train - which are usually Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays.  I try to avoid most condiments except mustard, I use a lot of that low calorie butter spray though… and sometimes I use South Beach Ranch Dressing.  I’ll have a slice of fat free cheese on my turkey or my sweet potato too, but never both.  I drink a gallon of water a day, of course, but I’m thinking about increasing it because I’m feeling dehydrated while I’m running in this summer heat.

 There it is… I still need pictures, which I plan on getting up here pretty soon.  I just want to add too, that I am so excited getting started out in this sport.  It’s such an incredible thing to see your body go under such a transformation.  It’s hard sometimes, and it takes alot of you, but when you look in the mirror and see each new little line appearing and muscles starting to pop, it’s all worth it.  It’s an awesome feeling when you start to love that person you see in the mirror.  So, to those of you just starting out like me, enjoy every single second of it.  Sometimes it seems like it takes forever, but forever comes week by week.  Take lots of pictures because you want to remember this! Eat clean, train hard… you’ll amaze yourself.

Welcome to the Bodybuilding.com BodyBlogs. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start blogging!