176boxingchic’s BodyBlog

7 years ago, I woke up like I would any other day. I was a 16 year old Junior in High School in a small town in Ohio. I woke up, got dressed, and did my hair in the bathroom. My 19 year old, soon to be 20, brother, Aaron, walked in while I was doing my hair and said "oh". Little did I know, this would be the last words that I would hear him speak.

School was normal. Since it was Wednesday, I had ballet right after school. I quickly changed into my leotard and tights, put on my ballet shoes, and began class. I had to leave about 15 minutes early, since I had to be at Burger King for my shift that night. I threw my work pants on over my leotard and tights, and drove to work in my parents ratty old truck that my friends and I dubbed "the shitmoblie" since you had to enter through the passenger side door and there was rust holes everywhere. However, it worked, and I didn’t have to pay for it, so I thought it was great!

I arrived at Burger King. I had to work the sandwhich board…kind of unusual, since I was always on drive thru. You see, I have this "magical" talent of being able to give correct change and not steal, so I was almost always on a register. 10 minutes into my shift, I was putting the finishing touches on a whopper, 4 pickles and a smiley face of ketchup…yup, all ready. All of a sudden, my manager told me that my neighbor was here and I needed to leave immediatly. I had to look twice, since the neigbor that was picking me up wasn’t the one that I expected it to be. It was the lady from the new family that had recently moved in next door. I went with her and we began the drive home.

The 2 mile drive was the longest 2 miles in my entire life. I kept asking what was wrong, but she wouldn’t tell me. We pulled down the street and I saw ambulances and policemen surrounding out house. I got out of the car. I saw my mom, and then I saw my dad. I knew before she said anything what was wrong. Aaron was gone. The only thing that my mom could get out of her mouth was "Aaron is dead."

Let me tell you some background information about my brother. My brother lacked common sense, but his IQ was off the charts. Simple tasks, such as remembering to feed the dog everyday or to take his shoes off were difficult for him. My mom and dad would yell at him to take his shoes off before he left the house every day! Things like computers were a piece of cake for him!

As long as I can remember, Aaron was different. He went against the grain and was not what society considered "normal." Aaron liked to wear black jeans from Kmart and black tee-shirts from hot topic (if my mom would buy them) along with his black steel toed boots. He shaved his head (mainly because he inherrited the white person fro that everyone in my family seems to have) and had bad acne. He took a briefcase to school and drove a 79 cutlass supreme. He liked marilyn manson and hard core music. On the outside, he scared some people.

The inside was different. Aaron was an animal lover, and was always playing with his cat. He was a protective brother and he never hurt anyone, unless in self-defense. He did normal teenager things, like sneaking out, sneaking beer, and going out with the one or two friends that he had. People didn’t see this. All they saw was the exterior, and judged him accordingly. This is what led to his sucessful suicide.

Aaron was always going to a mental health doctor for as long as I can remember. He was on different medication. It made him sleepy. He cut himself in fustration with life…why did no one like him, why do people make fun of him? The world is a cruel place, and Aaron couldn’t take it anymore. He tried to kill himslef several times, but was not sucessfull. He eventually got ahold of my grandfather’s gun, which was locked in a gunsafe that he broke into, and shot himself in the left temple. He left a note, crumpled up in a ball, that said nothing but "know that I love you all."

Please, to all that think you are superior to others or get off on making others feel inferior for what ever reason. Stop doing it! Learn to accept that it is what is inside that counts, not the outside! I truely belive that if Aaron was treated better by his peers, he would still be here today.

I write this on my bodyblog because this was the catalyst that made me want to join the Marine Corps and begin working out. I needed an outlet, and lifting was it. As I write this, I look at where I am at in my life in relationship to then. I have lost some focus with weightlifting, but I am now motivated to begin again. I love you Aaron, you area at peace!

7 years ago, I woke up like I would any other day. I was a 16 year old Junior in High School in a small town in Ohio. I woke up, got dressed, and did my hair in the bathroom. My 19 year old, soon to be 20, brother, Aaron, walked in while I was doing my hair and said "oh". Little did I know, this would be the last words that I would hear him speak.

School was normal. Since it was Wednesday, I had ballet right after school. I quickly changed into my leotard and tights, put on my ballet shoes, and began class. I had to leave about 15 minutes early, since I had to be at Burger King for my shift that night. I threw my work pants on over my leotard and tights, and drove to work in my parents ratty old truck that my friends and I dubbed "the shitmoblie" since you had to enter through the passenger side door and there was rust holes everywhere. However, it worked, and I didn’t have to pay for it, so I thought it was great!

I arrived at Burger King. I had to work the sandwhich board…kind of unusual, since I was always on drive thru. You see, I have this "magical" talent of being able to give correct change and not steal, so I was almost always on a register. 10 minutes into my shift, I was putting the finishing touches on a whopper, 4 pickles and a smiley face of ketchup…yup, all ready. All of a sudden, my manager told me that my neighbor was here and I needed to leave immediatly. I had to look twice, since the neigbor that was picking me up wasn’t the one that I expected it to be. It was the lady from the new family that had recently moved in next door. I went with her and we began the drive home.

The 2 mile drive was the longest 2 miles in my entire life. I kept asking what was wrong, but she wouldn’t tell me. We pulled down the street and I saw ambulances and policemen surrounding out house. I got out of the car. I saw my mom, and then I saw my dad. I knew before she said anything what was wrong. Aaron was gone. The only thing that my mom could get out of her mouth was "Aaron is dead."

Let me tell you some background information about my brother. My brother lacked common sense, but his IQ was off the charts. Simple tasks, such as remembering to feed the dog everyday or to take his shoes off were difficult for him. My mom and dad would yell at him to take his shoes off before he left the house every day! Things like computers were a piece of cake for him!

As long as I can remember, Aaron was different. He went against the grain and was not what society considered "normal." Aaron liked to wear black jeans from Kmart and black tee-shirts from hot topic (if my mom would buy them) along with his black steel toed boots. He shaved his head (mainly because he inherrited the white person fro that everyone in my family seems to have) and had bad acne. He took a briefcase to school and drove a 79 cutlass supreme. He liked marilyn manson and hard core music. On the outside, he scared some people.

The inside was different. Aaron was an animal lover, and was always playing with his cat. He was a protective brother and he never hurt anyone, unless in self-defense. He did normal teenager things, like sneaking out, sneaking beer, and going out with the one or two friends that he had. People didn’t see this. All they saw was the exterior, and judged him accordingly. This is what led to his sucessful suicide.

Aaron was always going to a mental health doctor for as long as I can remember. He was on different medication. It made him sleepy. He cut himself in fustration with life…why did no one like him, why do people make fun of him? The world is a cruel place, and Aaron couldn’t take it anymore. He tried to kill himslef several times, but was not sucessfull. He eventually got ahold of my grandfather’s gun, which was locked in a gunsafe that he broke into, and shot himself in the left temple. He left a note, crumpled up in a ball, that said nothing but "know that I love you all."

Please, to all that think you are superior to others or get off on making others feel inferior for what ever reason. Stop doing it! Learn to accept that it is what is inside that counts, not the outside! I truely belive that if Aaron was treated better by his peers, he would still be here today.

I write this on my bodyblog because this was the catalyst that made me want to join the Marine Corps and begin working out. I needed an outlet, and lifting was it. As I write this, I look at where I am at in my life in relationship to then. I have lost some focus with weightlifting, but I am now motivated to begin again. I love you Aaron, you area at peace!

I am fighting again this weekend! I found out today! I am fighting the same girl I fought last time, and I hope to knock her out this time!

 Things are going well for the most part. I am struggling with my diet, but I’m trying hard to stay on track. It’s hard when I have a bottomless pit fopr a husband that wants pizza and other junk at all hours of the night. (

Boxing is going well. I got to lead the class this week, which was awesome! My arm hurts today from hitting the heavybag, but hopefully it will feel better by the weekend!

 Good luck to everyone with their goals!!!!