176boxingchic’s BodyBlog

When I tried to lose weight for the first time in my life, I had a reason to do so. I was joining the Marine Corps and needed to be a certain weight and preform up to a certain level on physical fitness tests. The second time in my life when I was trying to loose weight was when I was boxing because I wanted to fight in the lower weight class. Now, I don’t have a reason (physical reason, like make weight for a sport, for my job, anything) so it’s hard to find that motivation. I don’t get as much support from my husband, since he has been gone on and off recently for work and my family lives 6000 miles away in Ohio. It’s hard. It’s really hard. I want to lose weight and tone up for myself, but sometimes it feels like it’s never going to happen or I am going to fail. If I fail, it’s all my fault, and there isn’t anyone else to blame but myself. Does anyone else go through this?? I need a good support system!

 Anyways, I’ve had two awesome workouts in the last 2 days and I really want to go tonight, but I am so sore. It’s not the sore that you can work through, but the it hurts to sit down, move, and laugh sore! I love it! I think that I am going to take tonight off and workout tomorrow morning. I plan to take a nice long walk with the dog to hopefully walk some of the sore out! I really don’t want to skip tonight, but I don’t want to hurt myself either. I feel great since I’ve been working out more frequently!

I did deadlifts last night for the first time and it felt good. I think a strong and muscular hamstring sticking out of the back of leg looks hot, especially in skirts and shorts! I used to do my legs/abs/ass all at once, but I’m seperating the leg workout. On the first leg day, I’m going to focus on my ass, abs, and hams. The second leg workout, later in the week, will focus in calves, quads, and overall full legs exercises like squats and lunges. I’m seperating them becasue I love to workout my legs and tend to go overboard on leg days, leaving me extrememly sore for a couple of days. I want to avoid that, especially since I am incorporating more actual running (as opposed to the elliptical) into my routine. I just need the support to keep going!

I have not been updating as much as I would like, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not working hard.

 I’ve been working out and trying to manage my diet, but it seems like I am fighting a never ending battle with food that I am losing. I had a horrible binge on Friday night. I was eating well all week and I was sitting at work. I had some soup towards the end of my shift since I was going to be grocery shopping after work. I went grocery shopping and stocked up on healthy foods. I stopped by Burger King (first mistake) with EVERY intention of just getting a grilled chicken sandwhich and a diet coke. (not the best meal, but atleast they don’t use mayo, but rather honey mustard) After sitting in the drive-thru for about 10 minutes in line and staring at the whoppers, I ordered a whoopper with no cheese, onion, and mayo and fries. It was so good! I went home and later had one of those 99-cent bags of doritos with light sour cream for dipping (one of my worst indulgences. It tasted good while I was eating it, but it made me feel horrible later that night. It felt disappointed in myself.

My relationship with eating (binging, restricting too much, etc) has made me think that I need to focus on eating small portions of clean, healthy food instead of obsessing on how many calories that I ate that day, how many carbs and the like. It’s hard to undo eating habits…I mean, who isn’t comforted by milkshakes and french fries???

 I’m not one of those women that says stuff like "I need to get bikini ready in a week" (I’ve heard this for real!) or the women that work out and say that they have to be a a certain weight and refuse to touch weights for fear of getting big. I’m the opposite. I don’t care if I weigh 200 lbs or 100lbs, just as long as I look good. I saw a woman on bodyspace that was 194 lbs and a size 4! She looked awesome!!!! I see 120 lbs size 4 women that look like absolute crap (what they call skinny fat, another term I don’t like, but agree with the principal behind it-one can be skinny , but unhealthy and chubby).

I think muscles on a woman are attractive. I’m glad that I am married to a man that loves me and my body for who I am and not the exterior. He brags about my boxing all the time! Infact, when his friends comeover and get drunk, they always want to fight me. I am proud to show my muscles off to anyone that will look. I remember when I was a senior in HS and I had been working out for a good 6 months straight and I would go up to my mom and make her feel my biceps or whatever muscle I was proud of at that moment. I used to do that all the time! I would flex for my dad and make him feel the biceps too…he would give me his praise and that was important to me. I wanted to be the daughter that he was proud to say was his. Through what I’ve done in my life, I know he is!

I had an awesome workout yesterday, but I had to bribe myself to finish 30 minutes of cardio. I was at the gym on the Army base, which shockingly, has really shitty cardio machines. I was stationed at an Army base, and it had an awesome gym. In fact, every base, except for the Marine Corps bases, had nice gyms. That’s what I didn’t like about being a Marine. We are the branch that sepnds the least on comfort and living items (barracks, housing, gyms, buildings) It doesn’t matter, becasue Marines do more with less, and like it )

 Anyways, I had to bribe myself on the crappy elliptical that if I finished my 30 minutes, I could go shopping and buy this clinique lipgloss that i wanted. Sounds stupid, but you would be suprised how that small tube of lipgloss encouraged me to finish. I used to set goals like "if I reach 150lbs, I can have a small milkshake " which is not a healthy thing to do. I am going to focus on non-food rewards, as materialistic as that may sound!!

I lifted Shoulders and Triceps and had a great time. The only complaint was that there was this one guy that wouldn’t stop staring at me ( I had a decent amount of makeup on from earlier that day-and no, I didn’t put it on to look good for guys at the gym, I’m happily married) He kept walking infront of me while I was lifting and then sat on the bench right next to mine, even though there are about 30 benches in this gym (the base just got new weight equiptment, I hope the cardio machines are next!) and the majority of them were empty.

I figured that he was staring at my chest, since I was wearing a wife beater and it was cold in there (figure it out) so I went and put on my sweatshirt. The perv still was staring, so I moved. I was wearing my ring and was in no way looking at him (he wasn’t very good looking anyways) to suggest anything. I can’t wait until we move away from Hawaii and back into a house where I can have my own gym. No more guys starring at hard nipples.