176boxingchic’s BodyBlog

I feel good about myself. 

 I went shopping today, and I now know that my work is starting to pay off. Although the weight isn’t coming off as fast as I would like and in the amount that I would like, inches are coming off. Trying on clothes today was not as horrible of an experience that it usually is. Clothes fit better and I felt better and more confident wearing them. I guess it doesn’t matter about the number, so if I’m 200 lbs and look good, that’s okay. I would rather be a solid 180 lbs, size 6 and look tone and fit than a flabby 135 chick. I’ve seen pics of women that are about 130-140 lbs and look horrible because they are solid flab. It’s kind of gross and I’m glad I’m not that.

Workout wise, today is a day off. I had a girls shopping day today, which was much needed. I’ll be back in the gym tomorrow with cardio, chest, and triceps.

AS much as I didn’t want to, I went to the gym after work. I was tired and I didn’t eat much throughout the day, so I didn’t have a lot of energy. I also felt like crap since I had this sugary coffee mid day and was on a crash from that. I forced myself to go…

 However, I got to the gym and there was no one there!!! (remember, I work at a small miltary base, with a small gym) I was estatic! I hate working out infront of a lot of people, especially guys. I don’t have a problem with dudes working out, I just don’t like being stared at. On the flip side, I don’t like chicks working out near me that are there just to flirt or lift the pink weights…it’s just annoying.

 Anyways, with the gym to myself, I had an awesome leg workout. I did a little less weight than I’ve been doing, but I uped my reps. I normally do 3 sets of 10, but I switched it up to 4 sets of 12. I just thought I’d try something different.

Long story short, I had a great workout and my food is packed for tomorrow so I can go to the gym before work and not waste time in the morning.

Instead of going to the gym this morning, I had to come into work early because one of my employees children were sick and could not stay at day care. I’m glad she was able to catch me before I left so she could take care of her kids, but I wanted to go lift before work. Oh well, I’m going after work now! 

I finally posted some pictures of my progress, but it was difficult to do. I’ve always been a chubby kid. 

 The first time I can recall someone making a comment about my body was in 3rd grade.  I had on these shorts that had a high waist and were tight when I sat down, so it emphasized my chubby gut. The little boy sitting next to me poked my gut and said I was fat…kids are so cruel.

My mom always bought junk to eat. There were always twinkes, rice krispy treats, chips, chip dip…all kinds of junk. She never really made healthy meals, but I don’t think that she really cared. My dad works as an electrician, so his job is physically demanding. He could eat whatever, and he would burn it off at his job or when he was working around the house. My mom kept getting bigger and bigger like me. No one told me as a kid that eating twinkies everyday would make you fat. This is why when I have children, I am going to make it a point to teach a healthy lifestyle early on. 

I was always bigger than my friends. When I moved to my current hometown, I wasn’t the biggest girl, but I was always bigger than everyone else. I wore girls 16 pants in 4th grade, my best friend, 10 slims. I don’t know why I remember that, but I just do. I continued to grow and grow, and I would tell my parents I was fat and they would tell me that it’s baby fat. I hated shopping with my girlfriends, since they were all skinny and everything looked good on them. I think this is why I still prefer to shop alone. I don’t even like when my husband comes, even though he tells me everything looks good on me. He is such a sweetheart to me. 

Being a bigger person didn’t bother me that much. I was a nerd and was an excellent student. I was always on the honor roll and took college classes in high school. My size didn’t matter. 

 Then, September 19, 2001, my brother, who was almost 20, shot himself in the head. After that, I gained weight. I ate for a good solid 8 months, packing on fat. I wasn’t happy with who I was. I was good at school, but I was fat, didn’t have a boyfriend, and didn’t have a lot of girlfriends. I had a circle of close friends, but that was it. 

I decided to change my life. I bought myself a membership to the local gym and began to change my life. A good chunk of my paycheck, which wasn’t much at the time, went to my membership. I began running and enlisted the help of my friends. My best friend, bless her heart, would run with me around the block. I remember the first time that I ran around the block, I could barely finish (it’s about 1.1 miles) and I slept the rest of the day. My mom and dad were very supportive of what I was doing. My mom would buy me new running shoes about every two months, since I wore mine down with all of the running I did. She bought me cute nike and adidas workout clothes, even though they were expensive. She knew that it helped me feel better about myself. My family was proud of me and I receive a lot of positive attention from extended family members and friends. I even had boys start to notice me, which at the time, was important. 

I decided to enlist into the Marine Corps, and had to lose abut 40 lbs to fit into their weight standards. That began the obsession of working out. I worked out everyday, 1-3 times a day. I barely ate anything and lost a lot of weight fast. I struggled with my weight in the Marine Corps and was always told that I was fat. It was a rough journey for me to get through. I had a very overweight Gunnery Sergeant (an E-7 in the Marine Corps, a much higher rank that my E-3) tell me that I needed to lose weight. Someone was looking the other way when he would weigh in. I remember seeing this guys weight papers and they said he was 185. Now my husband is about 180 lbs and is about two times smaller than this guy. It was frustrating to watch the higher-ups get by without working out and being fat, but then having them turn around and tell me that I was too big. Being a victim of sexual assault has hindered me in my quest to have a healthy body, but it’s getting better slowly.

Now that I am out of the Marine Corps, I have been working hard to keep my weight down. I’ve finally come to the realization that I need to have a healthy lifestyle and not do fad diets. There is no reason to lose weight quickly and no need. It’s hard for me to take things slow, since I know that I can loose weight quickly if I need to. I’m on a long, life long journey to live a healthy lifestyle and not let others influence how I feel about my body. It’s hard living here in Hawaii where it is beach season year round, but it’s also good, since there is no reason that I can’t go outside and be active. I want to be a role model to my future kids and I want to have a nice body for myself, no one else. Overall, I want to be happy with who I am, inside and out.

So I’ve gained 5 lbs in the last 2 weeks…AGH! WTF???

It’s so fustrating and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I’ve started to do my cardio in the morning, right after I wake up, before breakfast. I now work constant 10-6 shifts (it’s awesome being supervisor, I can set my hours) so I’m getting on a routine, but I’m not seeing the results. I did slip and I had some jack-in-the-box (1 cheeseburger and mozzerella sticks) but I paid for it in cardio the next day. Other than that slip up (it was around midnight and I was starving)

Training is going well and I am seeing more definition in my shoulders and back, but the belly isn’t going away. Hopefully the daily morning cardio will help with the fat loss. I’m also trying to eat every three-four hours that I am awake, but it’s hard now that my husband is away. I have no one to cook for!

Does anyone else have a job where they sit all day long? How do you deal with eating out of boredom? It’s hard!

Well, what can I say? There hasn’t been a lot of progress with the weightloss, despit the fact that I have been working out  a lot more. I have not been eating like I’ve wanted to, but I think that will change after my husband leaves next week. When I was first stationed here in Hawaii and he was in North Carolina, it was so much easier to focus on my workouts and diet. It’s not that he isn’t fitness oriented, it’s that he gets lazy with his diet. When he wants to lose weight, all he will eat is tuna and no carbs. He will go to McDonalds, get 8, yes 8, double cheeseburgers and eat just the meat and cheese. That messes with my mind so much, since I see him eating the junk on a "diet". He claims that it works for him, but after he stops eating like that, he gains the weight right back. For him, it is a constant yo-yo diet. I don’t do low carb diets where all you eat is steak, cheese, sausage, and other fatty meats, but I am married to someone that, in their warped mind, thinks that it’s a lifestyle. I guess it is a life style, but not one that I approve of or want to be a part of. I am all for reducing refined carbs (the whites) and limiting sugar, but no like what he does.

 When he drinks, it’s all out the door and will want to eat pizza, taco bell, cookie dough (he’s eaten an entire box of slice and bake cookies…gross!) It’s so fusterating, since he wants to workout with me and be healthy, and he will do a half-ass job of working out with me (lifting wise…he never likes what I do when I lift) and then wants to eat junk. I am so sick of it!!We’ve been going to play racketball, and if I’m not making and effort (on his standards) he makes comments about it, saying that I’m slacking off. It kills any ambition to play. Plus, he jumps infront of me to get the ball, like I can’t hit it myself. I hate working out with others and I hate playing team sports because of this crap.

When he is gone, I can focus on my diet and training regiment without having to worry about stuff like the house getting clean (who is going to do it, I’m still waiting for laundry to get done) and a lot of other stress that he puts on me. I’m not happy 100 percent of the time and probably not happy as much as normal people are, but it irritates the shit out of me when I come home, and he askes what’s wrong 50 million times. Most of the time it’s not that I’m not happy, it’s that I am really feeling nothing at the time (not in a good way or a bad way)and it reflects on my face. I don’t smile a lot. I grew up without a lot to smile about and spent 4 depressing and hurtful years in the military (mostly from being alone, cheated on, used, raped, and then told that I was a liar and that I wanted to sleep with that person) so I don’t smile a lot. It doesn’t mean that I am depressed, sad, angry, or whatever emotion you want to put in there, it means that I am fine. When I am sad, I cry, when I am happy, I smile, when I am fine, I don’t smile…so what is the point of asking so many times? It just irritates me more.

 Wow, this is off topic, since I wanted to write about my workout routine.

This is what I want to be doing workout wise. I am lucky to be at a job where I am a supervisor. I make the schedule, so I can schedule myself to work so that I can coordinate times for pt.

3 days on, 1 day off, repeat.

Day One: Back, biceps, traps

Day two: Legs, abs, ass

Day three: Chest, tri, delts

Day four: rest

Repeat

Cardio is any 5-6 times per week, to include racketball, elliptical, jogging, swimming, etc…

Here is my diet plan

Low fat, moderate carb (pre/post workout, am) and high (lean) protein

turkey sausage, double fiber bread, veggies, chicken, tri-tip (YUM!) eggs, almond butter, clementimes, veggie quesadillas (a homemade healthy fav of mine) carrots and celery, spaghetti squash….my list goes on!

I am going to limit my diet pop intake. I ultimatly want to eliminate it, but I like diet dr pepper too much to just stop cold turkey. Sushi (rainbow rolls, an all time favorite) is going to be my firday or saturday night treat.

I don’t want to indulge in fast food ever again. I used to have it in my mind that it was posion, but I don’t know what happened!

After a weekend of putting crap into my body, I killed myself in the gym. My husband came with me and we played a good hour and 15 minutes of racketball. It was kind of slow at first, afer the first 15 minutes, it was intense. We then lifted back, biceps and traps. I got home and was so tired!! My arm is sore today from the racketball, but that’s not going to stop me from going tonight. Tonight’s workout is going to be legs, abs, ass and some intense cardio!! I’ll post more about it tomorrow.

 Today’s diet is good, even though it’s only 9:50 am and I’ve already had my "treat" for the day. It was a good cookie!!!