12weekhardbody’s BodyBlog

My 5 year-old’s class is having a talent show.  When we asked my son what he wanted to do, he immediately told us that he wanted to dance.  Well, unfortunately for him he does not have any mad skillz in that department.  However, his classmates may think differently.  

Then, he decided that he wanted to tap dance. (His music teacher has tap danced for his class and he apparently is fascinated with the tapping sound.)  We explained that he would need to know how to tap dance in order to perform this in the talent show.  Since he does not even own a pair of tap shoes this skill won’t be done.

His best skill is talking and imagining.  Since we could not figure out a way to show this, he has decided to tell jokes.  So far he has two very funny ones.

I have a two-year-old son as well.  

He also has a talent.

He has taught himself to fart ON COMMAND. I think he is a prodigy.

He always performs and never disappoints!

Too bad he can’t be Miss America. Oh, well.

Today’s workout was upper body and abs. We did-
seated cable rows superset with pull-ups (trainer assisted)
bb chest press superset with bicep curls
tricep dips super set with cable bicep curls
giant abs set> cable crunches, lying reverse cable crunches with a shoulder raise, machine side twists

Have been eating 1500 calories.  I am not counting calories but have made out a plan where I am eating X number of grains, proteins, etc per day.  I have not lost any weight but my clothes are looser.

We hit the upper body and abs yesterday.  It was mainly back, shoulders, and tris.
Went a little something like this-

bb (not so deep) squats into an overhead press and then a hamstring stretch (my hammie was sore) 4 sets

close-grip pulldowns supersets with abs around the world> 4 sets

GIANT SET assisted pull-ups, cable squat into a front cable raise, lying table obliques> 4 sets

triceps dips (unassisted at first then added drop sets so they became assisted) 4 sets

Today was lower body-

bb DEEEEEEEP squats supersets with arse to the flo’ jump squats> 4 sets

Giant set- belted cable lunges, leg curl, lying cable single leg pushdowns> 4 sets

standing cable hamstring curls> 4 sets

My shoulders are sore today and I’m sure I’ll be walking funky tomorrow!  

My trainer asked me today on a scale from 1-10 how hard had I worked myself.  I said probably a 6ish.  Using him though it is a 9 so far.  I tear it up but I can always do more.

Today was upper body and abs with the trainer.  Again there was a lot of cursing and name calling on my half.

Here’s how the hour went-

bench press superset with leg pull-in with a plate weight (works the abs and upper body) 3 sets all to failure and then some

seated cable rows superset with db shoulder press (During this I was counting my reps, my trainer was NOT.  He said, "There’s eight".  I said, "NO, THAT"S 12, BITCH!") 3 sets

cable skull crushers superset with cable bicep curls 4 sets (last superset was a drop set for the crushers and curls)

cable lateral raises superset with reverse cable flyes 4 sets

cable jackknife (or is it jackknives??)  4 sets no rest in between sets

EVERYTHING is done to failure.  Even when I am there he "helps" me cranks out one or two or three more.  It’s all good!

I am a little sore upper body wise from the workout 2 days ago.  Feels good to be sore.

Today was legs.  Usually I don’t start feeling the soreness kick in for a day or 2.  That wasn’t the case today.  I AM ALREADY HURTING…is this suppose to happen?  Oh, well. It is what it is and IT IS PAINFUL .

So in two days with the trainer not only am I getting pushed but I am also increasing the number of curse words I can say during a set.  When he says to give him 2 more I surely f’n do .  My mom would be proud…..um, okay maybe not so much.

I am having a great time!

This was today’s workout…I paid for it but you may have it for free
1. GIANT SET sumo deadlifts, seated calf presses, standing calf raises (as many as I could get in 30 seconds) =4 sets

2. leg press donkey kick (I put the front of my torso against the back of the leg press instead of having my back against it , placed one foot on the machine, and pushed it donkey-style.  I only did one set of these because they were a. weird b. painful to my back) superset with db walking lunges= 1 set

3. donkey kicks with a db superset with db walking lunges = 1 set

4. donkey kicks super set with db alternating JUMPING lunges =1 set

5. GIANT SET adductor machine, abductor machine, JUMP SQUATS to the floor and up = 4 sets

I know there was another superset but I can’t think of what it was. Cuh-rap.  Ok, so it is a free workout that you’ll have to do a little work and find another superset.

I knew that he wouldn’t be able to train me yesterday so i chose to work my legs on my own.  I figured that I would hurts them less than he would.  I look ridiculous now just trying to walk and sitting down is a whole other story =).  I look like somebody in an old folk’s home that has shit their pants and is trying NOT to rub it in.

So this morning was an upper body and abs workout.  I had worked out with this guy a couple of years ago.  He has switched up the way he does things (or at least that was the case today).

I tried to sip my Xtend during my "breaks" and had to switch to water because I was about to yak.

I believe that I did 5 supersets AND a whole lot of cursing!

Started with cable squats into an overhead press ss with a weird-ass oblique exercise where I lied down on a table from the waist down; he held my legs while I contracted my obliques to move my head from the floor up past my sides

From there I did unassisted tricep dips with weighted supercrunch.

Then, it was cable squats (a-****in-gain) into a bent over row (overhand grip) for 10 reps  and then immediately turned into an underhand grip for 10 more.  These were ss with close grip pulldowns.

From there it was on to dumbbell curls ss with dude pushups (to failure) dropped to bitch pushups (to failure).  This sucked.  I can curl 20’s normally but I was only able to do 15’s today .

FINALLY, I did cable concentration curls ss with tricep extensions.  This is where my mouth got me into some trouble.  Another guy at the gym asked if my trainer was pushing me (and he was) but I said, "Nope.  He’s a puss".  Then, I immediately said to my trainer, "Damn, I just ****ed up, didn’t I?".

Luckily we were out of time .

It was a great time had by all.

I have made out a new game plan for nutrition.  I’ll be eating 1500 calories.  Doing a 40/30/30 split.  I am going to eat dairy, fruit, complex carbs, lean protein, and healthy fats.  I have a checklist that i am going by daily to make sure that i get enough but not too much food .

My anniversary is next month.  I asked my husband for a personal trainer and he’s getting me what I want.  I am going to train 4 days a week- Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday.  It’ll be 2 upper days and 2 lower.  I trained with this guy a few years ago.  He is awesome; it is so fun to curse him while he pushes me to beyond comfortable.  I am very excited yet nervous because he challenges me more than I ever could myself.  I do not want to look like a puss to anyone face to face (I know I look like a puss to some of you on bodyspace because I have only gained weight but that’s about to change:))  He is sick so he’s not gonna work with me tomorrow.  I’ll train myself and hopefully he’ll be okay Tuesday.  

As far as cardio, I am only doing it on Wednesday and Saturday.  I may walk with my husband and kids in the evenings or play tee-ball with them throughout the week but I am only doing the 2 formal days of cardio.  

I hope to see big changes in the next four weeks, eight weeks, twelve weeks, and so on.  My pants are already looser this week :].  I want my measurements to decrease and the amount of weight that I lift to increase.  I’d like to be able to do 45-50# db press and do 30#db curls.  I can reach these goals FAST with some dick I am paying to push me …gotta love a trainer.

What’s getting old?  Well, I got the shits and started puking last Thursday…I know, lucky me.  My older son also had the same problems.  To make matters worse we were driving 5 hours to get to the beach.  

There we sat. in the back seat was my son with his little barf bucket and I was in the front clinching my ass like nobody’s business.  I managed to make it without having to change my underoos .

This is the oddest stomach bug I’ve ever had.  I will feel okay one day and then the next I’ll be running, literally .  Then, two days ago my younger son got it.  I actually took him to the doctor because I thought he was getting dehydrated.  He looks better today and acts okay but I can still hear his belly and smell him.

What’s new?  Well, my older son is going to play tee-ball.  My husband and I started playing with him a few days ago.  I never played tee/base/soft ball and neither did my husband so it has been so much fun watching him try to catch the ball.  He is pretty good at hitting a ball of the tee as well as thrown ones .  I am very proud since my husband and I are NOT athletic.  Even the little guy has been batting and throwing..he has also "caught" the ball two times with his head which made him cry.

As far as working out and eating clean…um, no and no.  I have been eating bananas, whole wheat chex, and almond milk for days now.  I haven’t been to the gym since last Wednesday but I’ll get there when I feel better.  

I am going to map me out a plan and include a variety of foods so I don’t get bored.  

So that’s what’s old and new.