12weekhardbody’s BodyBlog

I hurt my hamstring over 2 months ago.  Thought I let it heal (didn’t work out, not even cardio) for 5 weeks.  Then, several weeks ago my inner left knee started hurting. At this point I was doing 2 workouts a day- weights and cardio in a.m. and cardio in p.m. A PT friend of my husband’s examined me and said that my hamstring had not healed all the way.  So I stopped doing ALL cardio and weight for my lower body.  NOTHING- not any damn exercises for my lower body in the past 3 weeks, i think.  All of a sudden last Tuesday my left quad started hurting.  I saw my doctor today.  He said that it is tendonitis more than likely caused by some medicine that I recently started taking.  My main problem is that I am suppose to take this medicine until February.  My doctor said that I do not need to do anything that ****s with these tendons.

SO…..here is where I need help.  Is it possible toreach my

So I have spent the past hour or so looking at bodyspace.  It’s really easy to find motivating pictures.  I have been asking myself WTF do these people have that I don’t have?  Why can I look as good as they do??  There are so many times when I have gotten down because I cheated on my diet.  Why have I been cheating?  Would I cheat on my husband?  Absolutely not.  So why do I keep cheating myself out of the body that I desire?  I always feel like shit when I eat junk both physically and mentally so why keep doing it?  STEP AWAY FROM THOSE OREOS AND THAT FAT ****ING PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY.

I do not hang around anyone that thinks as much as I do about their body.  My friends and family (with the exception of one friend but she doesn’t count because she lives 6 hours away) do not take care of themselves.  Some smoke.  Some drink. Some smoke and drink.  ALL eat shitty.  Are these people MY role models?  NO.  I need to be their role model.  I want to go from skinny fat to rock hard and show these people that I got that way through eating clean, cardio, and weight training.  I want my mom to think that I look great and not just "too thin".  

Isn’t there a commercial for makeup or hair dye or something that says "I’m worth it"?  Well, damn it if I’m worth a $10 or less beauty product then I am worth a smoking hot body!!

I hurt my leg a couple of months ago and as a result I gained 5 pounds from eating shitty.  In two weeks I lost it all by eating 1500 clean calories and  exercising twice a day.  Well…..I guess that was too much because it apparently had not healed and I hurt it again last week.  This time around I am going to continue to work out (upper body only).  I had a physical therapist friend of my husband’s advise me not to do cardio or lift the lower body for a while.  SO my new plan is to eat 1200 clean calories and lift upper body 6 days a week to lose these damn 5 pounds I gained back over the past 5 days.  This will put me on the right track.

I have wanted to get down to 15% body fat for over a year.  However, my weekly affair with sweets has prevented that from happening.  If I stayed away from shit for 2 months I think I could reach my short term goals- lose 10 pounds and reach 18% bf.  

I went to a bodybuilding/ figure comp over the weekend to see one of my friends compete.  Part of me does not want to compete but the other part does.  I think it is fascinating that people can get their bodies to look that lean.  It would be more of a competition with myself than it would be with other people.  Competing shows the ultimate dedication. Is my friend really that much stronger mentally than I am??