-JB-’s Perpetual Journey

I just came back from Las Vegas - the city of buffets galore.  Perfect for bulking.  I was there for only 3 days but I had the be ‘hooked up.’  I was feeling symtoms of withdrawl and it was all I could think about.  So, I called a guy who could deliver what I needed - two free gym passes. 

Ok, so I’m supposed to be on vacation, but I couldn’t stop thinking about training.  So I ask this question:  Am I addicted to training?  I have never experimented with drugs, I don’t drink alcohol, I don’t use tobacco products.  So is training my vice?  My ‘grip’, some would call it?  I get this feeling of overwhelming satisfaction when my joints ache and my muscles burn and I have no blood in my head because its all concentrated in the area I just trained.  That’s my ‘high’.  If I go even a couple days without it, I feel rundown and tired - like I’m going through some kind of withdrawl.  But you know what?  I like… no, I love feeling the withdrawl.  It reminds me of what I need to do in the gym.  It forces me to think about my plan of attack for the upcoming week. 

If I am, in fact, addicted, it’s a addiction I am proud of.  Some people will never understand.  And I don’t ever expect them to. 

This is my first cut and its not easy.  My hat is off to the bodybuilders who do this multiple times a year for weeks.  It’s been 3 weeks now and although I’m losing the fat I aquired from my bulk faster than I expected to, it’s a brutal process.

First, I love to eat.  Bulking was soooo much fun because I ate everything within reason (I do my best to keep it clean).  I love loading up a plate full of whole-grain pasta or brown rice, throwing some meat on top, stirring it up, and eating it all together.  Now the carbs I get are from veggies.  They’re just not the same.  Every year at our school we have a party for our 8th graders who are going to high school after the summer break.  We have pizza, candy, doughnuts, soda, etc. - enough for over 200 students.  This year I sat in the back of the kitchen eating my all natural lean turkey and cottage cheese while everyone else gorged on garbage.  The other teachers and the students alike were trying to get me to eat ‘unhealthy foods.’  It hard to explain to those who don’t understand why you do the things you do.  That’s why I simply say ‘No, thank you’ and continue eating the stuff my body really needs.

 Also, I hate cardio.  I’ve been running 3 miles about 4 or 5 times a week for a few weeks now.  I still train in the afternoon in the Dungeon 4 days a week.  After I eat dinner at night, I’ve been ready for bed.  I feel drained from pushing myself so hard lately.  Burning more calories than I eat is a relatively new thing to me and my body isn’t really used to it.  That calorie deficit, however, is getting me the results I want.

I’m going to start bulking again very soon.  I hope to reach 230lbs; that’s a short-term goal.  I know what it takes for me to get there.  I have the summer off (one of the only advantages of being a teacher) to really concentrate on training hard and eating right and resting when my body needs it.  Mind over all…

I’ve been hearing it from everyone lately: "You better be careful working out," or "You’re going to hurt yourself again," or "Why are you doing that?"  Yeah, I had surgery - big deal.  My hand is now in a hard cast up to my forearm.  Are people with casts not supposed to accept it and continue on as I have?  Are those of us unfortunate to have injuries supposed to quit living our lives as usual and sulk about our injuries, waiting to heal?  I say "Hell no!"  NOTHING good comes to those who wait.  You need to step up and bust your butt to get what you want.  I have certain goals and I intend on reaching them.  Sure, the surgery is a setback.  I will, more than likely, not reach my deadlift goal of 500lbs+ by June.  I accept it, set other goals I can strive for, and move on.  You adjust and adapt to environmental changes.  Survival of the fittest.

People can say all they want about what I am doing.  I simply tell them, "I’m stubborn, not stupid."  I train smart.  I’m not performing any exercise I feel puts me in danger of reinjuring my finger.  Do I take risks?  Of course.  Do we not take risks every day anyway?  I am committed to transforming my body into something better.  I am now surrounded by negativity and those telling me "Don’t…" and "You shouldn’t…" on a daily basis.  To those people, I want say "Thank you."  I say this because your doubt fuels me to push harder, to prove that what I am doing is right.  Just because you don’t have the guts and determination to keep reaching for your goals by any means necessary doesn’t mean I have to be like you and watch my goals, dreams, and intentions slip away.  This is my journey, not yours. 

 I have my hand and wrist in a hard cast and wrapped with bandages and tape to protect the finger I had surgery on last week.  It looks like a frickin’ oven mitt. Despite the setback, I still made it to the gym 3 times this past week. Squats, box squats, leg extentions and curls, good mornings, seated calf raises, and most ab exercises don’t bother my hand so I can get at least some work done.  Although I’ve lost some weight (almost 5 pounds) due to atrophy in my upper body, I’m concentrating on being consistant and focusing my attention to what I CAN do. 

These are some of my journal entries over the past week or two.  Since I broke my finger I’ve had to deal with overcoming an obstacle that has the potential to really set my progress back.  Although I’m unable to perform deadlifts or bench, I can focus on legs and abs (two of my weak points, in my opinion, anyway).  Please understand that I am NOT looking for sympathy here.  I want those with complications to know that you CAN and WILL overcome anything if you just keep your head on straight and bust your butt.
 

Journal entries…
 

3/24/2007
I was playing basketball on Friday afternoon and jammed my finger going up for a rebound. I played on for a minute or so ’cause it didn’t feel that bad. But when I looked down at my finger and it was sticking out at 45-degree angle. I jogged off the court and drove to a health clinic down the street. X-rays showed my 5th finger (pinky) on my right hand was broken in 3 places plus cartilage damage. I got a referral to see an orthopedic surgeon sometime this coming week. I obviously had to forego my back session on Friday.

Call me stupid, stubborn, or whatever you want but I’m gonna do everything in my power to train. I’ve worked too f—-n’ hard and too f—-n’ long to let something like this drag me down. I won’t be able to stick to my current schedule so I need help with some modifications. Anything that involves gripping the bar is pretty much out for a while. My goal now is to concentrate on legs. I’ll probably train legs 2x a week until my finger heals. I used to do a Westside routine a few years ago that had me doing heavy legs one day and lighter explosive box squats 3 or 4 days later (along with other accessory exercises, of course). I’m thinking of going back to that.
 

Right now, I’ll do what it takes. Doing “nothing” is not an option.

3/27/2007
I saw the orthopedic doc today. He tried setting my finger but it’s f—ed. The joint is crushed and impacted into the bone below. He said he’ll have to put a plate and screws in it just to straighten it out. He also said that because of the way it’s broken, he may have to obtain a bone graft from my elbow to insert into my finger. I go under the knife either Thursday or Friday. After tomorrow’s upper body session, I guess I may need to take the rest of the week off from training. This f—ing sucks!!!
 

3/29/2007
Looks like it’s gonna be all legs for me for at least a few weeks. Had surgery today on the finger and the doc said it was a mess in there. He said it was broken in 3 places, crushed, impacted into the bone below it, and rotated 45 degrees. I have 2 pins and a piece of a cadaver bone in my finger now. They wrapped my hand with so much gauze I can’t even hold a fork or a toothbrush with it. I have to keep it on until April 12th. When I asked the Doc on Tuesday how long it would be until I was able to grip a barbell again, he said to give him 6 weeks. Looks like squats are my new best friend for a month or so…

I just updated my personal profile on a training website I visit frequently and noticed that I have gained 10.5lbs in less than 2 months. Since I started training again in October ‘05, I have gained a total of 40.5lbs - in less than a year and a half. I’m not bragging at all; I am not that kind of a person. I just want this to be a lesson to all of those looking to bulk up fast:

You DO NOT need a bunch of fancy expensive supplements. You DO NOT need to lift 4 hours a day. All I have done for the past year and a half is keep my diet clean, train hard in the gym, and rest appropriately. It’s really not that difficult. I don’t take any magic pills because THEY DON’T EXIST!! I eat. And when I eat I am sure to comsume certain nutrients at certain times for maximal gains. My supplements include whey protein (cheap stuff from Sam’s Club), omega-3 fish/flax oil blend (4 1200mg pills a day), a good multivitamin (I take Animal Pak), and creatine. That’s it. Nothing crazy. Don’t be suckered by supplement companys’ claims of “great size gains in only 12 minutes” or whatever. Eat. Train with the utmost intensity. Eat more. Sleep. Wake up and eat again. Plain and simple.

I am no where NEAR done. Knowing what kind of gains I’m making now fuels me to make even more gains. I’m not satisfied and probably never will be.