-JB-’s Perpetual Journey

I’ve been going to an occupational therapist about my finger for about 2 weeks now.  During the first visit, she freaks out on me because I told her I had started doing deadlifts again but no going near as heavy as I had pre-broken finger.  When she asked how heavy I was going I told her the truth: no more than 315lbs.  She told me stop doing deads because that much weight can put more stress on my finger, blah, blah, blah.  Anyway, despite the lecture a couple weeks ago, I did deads again yesterday.  They’re my favorite exercise and I just can’t avoid doing them.  Anyway, after warm-up sets I threw on 315 and it felt amazing.  So, I bumped the weight up a bit to 405.  I only did 2 reps (could have done a couple more, but I haven’t done over 400 since late March), then did 3 more sets of only 1 rep.  My finger felt fine and my grip strength has noticeably improved.  I didn’t try increasing the weight any higher to where I used to be; I’ll let my body get used to this first before I add more weight.  

I go back to the therapist tomorrow morning.  I’m debating whether or not to even tell her.  It’s not a big deal one way or the other.  I’m just happy to be able to grip and lift over 400 again - with no problems! 

I just came back from Las Vegas - the city of buffets galore.  Perfect for bulking.  I was there for only 3 days but I had the be ‘hooked up.’  I was feeling symtoms of withdrawl and it was all I could think about.  So, I called a guy who could deliver what I needed - two free gym passes. 

Ok, so I’m supposed to be on vacation, but I couldn’t stop thinking about training.  So I ask this question:  Am I addicted to training?  I have never experimented with drugs, I don’t drink alcohol, I don’t use tobacco products.  So is training my vice?  My ‘grip’, some would call it?  I get this feeling of overwhelming satisfaction when my joints ache and my muscles burn and I have no blood in my head because its all concentrated in the area I just trained.  That’s my ‘high’.  If I go even a couple days without it, I feel rundown and tired - like I’m going through some kind of withdrawl.  But you know what?  I like… no, I love feeling the withdrawl.  It reminds me of what I need to do in the gym.  It forces me to think about my plan of attack for the upcoming week. 

If I am, in fact, addicted, it’s a addiction I am proud of.  Some people will never understand.  And I don’t ever expect them to.